Time is elusive. I can never seem to find enough of it to last me a whole day. Which is ironic because a day does constitute of time.

I get home around 3:30pm everyday from school, put my stuff down, and get on the computer to check email, check who is online, check my website (what you're currently visiting :p), and so on and so forth. Frequently, I do my homework while sitting at the computer, but I find that a distraction at times, especially with all the tools accessible with the click of a mouse--IM, e-mail, music, to name a few. Then as the hours roll by and evening comes, I then take the time to study for quizzes/tests for the following day. Of course, 50% of the time you catch me, I would probably be on IM. I still manage to do both (study/do homework), but the evening still wears away, and the days that I am sitting at the computer, I look at my erroneous desktop clock.

8:34 p.m.

Actually, please note that I said "erroneous," meaning that... it's wrong. It's not really 8:34 - in fact, it's close to 11:45 p.m., to say the least. Nearing midnight. Great. This isn't a once or twice occurence... in fact, recently, it has been nearing every night. Well, you might say, 12am, that's not too bad. Well, consider that because I am bound to the chains of high school until I leave the school in May 2006, I have to wake up every morning around 6:30a.m. (and FYI, recently it has been 6:05 a.m. because my poor car broke down, and I am car-less), get to school, and start class at 7:50a.m. Dangit, you know all those studies about how people really need 8-9 hours of sleep every night? I will tell you right now: THEY'RE RIGHT. 6 hours of sleep is not enough, even though it's a mere difference of two hours... I'm always having HUGE headaches in the morning, heavy eyes, and a gaping expression on my face ("What?") because of those precious two hours of sleep lost. By 5th period, I'm almost out cold....

I know I rambled for what seemed to be hours up there about seemingly nothing important, but please, unless you really have a lot of stuff to do, get your 8 hours of sleep. Your body will thank you later.

Anyway, onto some other blog-worthy events...

I went to collegeboard.org today, and I happened to surf around some colleges and universities because in a year, I will be the one that's applying to colleges. Under the admissions tab, there are things that the school heavily bases their admissions on, things that they strongly consider, and things they consider (you'll see if you visit the site, for those who care) ... For example, in one school, class rank is very important, while in another school, they only just glance at it. I am really worried that when the time comes for me to start filling out those apps, that I won't get into the colleges of my choice (currently hazy at the moment) because I didn't have enough accomplishments/good things to say about me/etc. etc.... okay, fine, I have the grades, and I'm sure I could improve my SAT scores (...hehe) and whatnot, but what else do they want of me? How do I make myself stand out to, say, Ivy League schools, with my glowing application being the one that screams to the admissions officers, "Pick me! Pick me!" ? I know some of my friends have blogged about this before... see, where I live, a lot of people end up going to a big state university. It's a very good college with a very good honors program, band, and football team (take a guess)? :P but there's this (prideful?) feeling deep down that I am capable of getting into places that are more "prestigious" than that. But it's only a feeling--am I really that capable? Or is it just my vanity speaking? I guess we shall see when in a year, the rejection letters will pile up on my table...

Okay, I need to do some homework. Being a junior in high school is no walk in the park. But I'm sure you knew that already, didn't you?

Yo necesito...

-Un grupo de amigos! Well, I have friends, but I don't know... I guess I'm a social butterfly (and yes, Raie, I do bold a lot to emphasize certain things) because I tend to "flit" from group to group. I don't really have one I can call my own, or a group of "best friends." Like right now, I have in mind a group of girls that are pretty close-knit--I'm friends with all of them, even good friends with one of them, but I'm not in their "group." Maybe I don't need a group of friends, and I can just be good friends with everyone so I can get the best of every world. ;D Also, I sort of stopped doing this "best friend(s)" business awhile ago... I don't know, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by this "best" ordeal... being attached ALL THE TIME kind of annoys me, for some reason, like when you only hang out with that one person. I don't know, maybe I'm not making much sense right now because I'm pretty tired. LOL OMG BFF!!!!!!!!!! FRIENDS FOREVER I LOVE YOU XOXOXOXOXOXO that's not really me, I'm not sure if that was ever me... I'm really a reserved person, to tell you the truth. Even with my few really good friends, I don't ever tell them a lot of things about me, like for example, who my mind currently dwells on, my concerns about life, etc. etc. But enough...

-Un vida! I need a life. I don't have one. Saturday night, I'm home... I was studying and I am now blogging. Earlier in the evening, I was sleeping.

-Aprender chino... My Mandarin Chinese is rather stagnant right now, and I really want to be fluent in Mandarin so I could possibly survive on my own (sort of) in places like Taiwan. I look at talk shows on Chinese TV, and when I see Russian people speaking Chinese, despite the fact it's not all the way smooth, it bothers me that if I landed on a talk show like that, I probably wouldn't be able to say what I wanted to say very well, and I am Chinese. I've studied the language since I was 5, but it's a once-a-week thing, and I don't write much at all. When I speak with Chinese "ai-yis" and "su sus," yeah, I speak Chinese, but I can't hold, like, philosphical talks or anything... my vocab's not that expansive. Also, everytime I go overseas, I often don't know how to say certain phrases, so here I am, the American-Born-Chinese girl walking around like "?" :D I bet my extended family thinks it's disgraceful because I can only hold simple conversations in Chinese, like Hi how are you, I'm in 11th grade now, I like to _____, No, I'm not dating anyone, I don't know where I want to go to college. Maybe I should just take this class in college, although most classes offer simplified Chinese if I'm not mistaken (well, at Tech, they do)... a step backwards for me >_<

Okay, I'll stop with the "I need" and my horrible Spanish...

I still need to make my layout. Great. I've become a big-time procrastinator now. AP studying? I'll do that tomorrow.

Today was very invigorating or exhausting, however you want to put it. I volunteered at this elementary school carnival with my friend, and we were kept on our toes at all times. We manned the "BAG DECORATING" booth, and kids just put glue (drew stuff) on paper bags, dumped glitter on it, and put stickers... we ran around showing people what to do and punching holes for the handles. Gah! It took awhile to get everything to calm down... I will not go into the giftbag industry (tied too many handles to care for) and perhaps not work as an elementary school teacher... teachers don't get paid enough for all the work they have to do. By the time I left, I had stickers, glue, and glitter all over me. I never want to see microscopic itty bitty pieces of colorful metallic plastic again.

Afterwards, I went to the lake for a Chinese picnic... excellent weather, though a little windy (another hurricane?) - I ran around in the water with Jennifer, getting my pants wet in the process, great... "played" volleyball, walked around in the sand, hula-hooping. It was a nice getaway from reality, I'll tell you that.

Sometimes, I wish I had some haven I could retreat to whenever I'm not loving life.

...I need to update.

I seem to be lacking in my time-management skills. I need to stop sleeping at 12AM everyday.

A look on what's coming up in my life (not that you care, right? :D)

September 23rd - Beta Club induction, whoohoo... I'll play a simple piece on flute :D I hope it turns out decent because I really need to quell my paranoia of playing in front of people. I manage to lose my composure at times... then again, who doesn't?

September 24th - LHS VS GHS GAME!!!!!!! Our school is really big on football, even though our team wasn't so hot in the past couple of years :c) but they have improved, and we've won games now, yay... It'll be fun, seeing all of my friends again ... I hate separation (a lot of my friends went to GHS after middle school, and guess who was the loser that went to the other school...)

October 13th - PSAT/NMQST (whatever the acronymn is) is coming up soon, and although I think I'll do fine on the Verbal section, I know I'm going to do not so hot on Math and Writing... For some reason, I cannot do math very well (in the class, sure, but outside/real life application, etc...) -_-

Also, hmm... I debated once so far, and I've already missed a debate tournament last week due to our Red Cross retreat... this weekend, I can't go to yet another fun, awesome debate tournament, so I'm a little disappointed about that. Last year, I didn't debate as much as I would like to because of marching band, but now that I'm no longer enslaved by the obligations of marching band, I have most of my Fridays off, but look who's not debating much....? -_- The irony! I think my debate career, if it ever started, died...

This past weekend, I went on a Red Cross camping retreat along with Shivani, Joy, Sheel, and Vic... since I've never camped before, I envisioned a nice room (semi-nice) with at least a bathroom and lights in it. Ahh, we Americans, we're too spoiled... what a wake up call w hen we got to the campsite! To borrow someone's words, the whole area was quite... "primitive." I see why we called it a retreat: a retreat from society ^_^ but it was nice to notice how spoiled we were when we complained about the lack of lights and good beds... haha. We did some group presentations and spent most of the time enjoying the good weather outside with the blanket of beautiful stars above us when nightfall came... it was really pretty, minus the heavy smoke from the giant bonfire for the s'mores. :D And of course, Joy, Shivani, and I got the scare of our lives when this idiot guy started scratching on the cabin walls... it sounded like a bear, okay and when one is out with nature, there is no telling what she sends his/her way... -_- The three of us ran out SHRIEKING ... three girls running out of this haunted cabin shrieking for their mommies (cough, no names...) :D Quite a sight.

And of course, you can't forget ropes course....running around in the woods and whatnot, using our brains to solve puzzles. We did Tarzan and swung from a branch... and balanced a gigantic seesaw... and so on and so forth. How invigorating =D Some highlights of the trip: chocolate dessert, speed limit 12 1/2, Vic and the guitar, claaara, claaara, me choking because I'm a CPR victim, the LHS table... ^_^

It's sad how on "girly" magazines like CosmoGIRL! and Seventeen, I turn straight to the health/workouts section... ~_~ Don't bother with the makeup, fashion... etc. I did this really nice workout from the August 2004 issue of CG! yesterday, and talk about cardio and weight training... when a workout can combine the two effectively, you've got yourself a deal. :)

Anyway, I've had a crazy weekend... maybe I'll blog about it later, not in the mood right now. Why? My brain is quite fried from this APLIT essay I've been doing these past two days. I = perfectionist, but I know Mrs. H will shoot down my dreams... and like, stomp on them. Hello F's??? :) I've been working about 10 hours (rivaling Joy, uh oh) on this stupid essay, and it better be worth all my efforts, too. Due Wednesday.

Hey, I've got a new layout image, but I need to learn how to code well (see prev. entry? Or so) ... and do something snazzy with it. I don't know. All this stuff takes time... gargh! I just need to dedicate a "HTML/PHOTOSHOP" month for me...

Okay. Take time to stop and appreciate your friends and who they are. You may think you don't have people who care about you ... but oooh, there are plenty that love you for who you are and are concerned about. I think I've finally learned how to appreciate that fact lately... love to all of my friends. I'll probably write another long entry that nobody reads about this topic later... but not now. My back hurts...

Hello.

These past couple of days, it has been pouring like there's no tomorrow. Where I live, Hurricane Frances was not in its direct path, but it still dumped lots of rain here. I guess my dry grass is happy now =) It's scary just to imagine winds at 90mph... over here, all the swaying trees and debris at 20mph is bad enough! I hope the people in Florida are recuperating...

My U.S. History teacher is so Republican... either that, or very patriotic, although everyone says, "Yeah, he's Republican. If nothing else." It must be something about serving in marine corps... he has great pride for this country. I told my friend, "Hey, if Bush wins in November, he [my teacher] should hold a party..." She was all aghast and replied, "...I don't want Bush to win!"

Haha, I'm reading Newsweek now. There's an article that states that there's a lot of women that are "skinny and tall" (I guess past 6 feet) so they could never find clothes that fit right. That's funny, a "tall market is heating up" with stores such as Jungle Babies, Chicks with Attitudes... Sad (?) to say that I did not get the Amazonian genes from my family, nope. But it's ironic how the tallest guy (or if I'm wrong, one of the tallest guys) in basketball is... Chinese! I'm only 5'3.5", 5'4"...

Blah, at this rate I won't finish the new layout until late September. That's usually how it is... ^_^' I need like, an insta-layout designer program... :D

[pasted from my Xanga]
On MTV's True Life: I am in an interracial relationship... there are three couples featured: a Caucasian guy and an African-American girl, a Caucasian guy and African-American guy, and a Hispanic guy and a Caucasian girl. Out of all them, I think the happiest is the first one... their families are both accepting of the other and they're both really cute :D ... The guy just asked the girl to marry her, aww! I wonder how I would fare if I were faced with a decision like that--well, interracial relationships. My parents are more for Asian (definitely Chinese...) guys, and I think I would be, too (especially in, say, marriage), but when you're in "love," does it really matter?

I know, I know, I think way ahead of my time :P when I should be focusing right here, right now... but in the event that I do find someone that's not Chinese/Asian... I wonder how that would fare? I've talked about this with someone, how it would be "weird" for the children - I used to think it was hard being Chinese yet not so Chinese in America, but I can only imagine having both sides in my blood. Also, there's just some feeling to keep your family blood consistent/pure, like most Chinese/Asian people like for it to be. Family pride? Not sure. Well, I'll just let my life run its course and see where it takes me in ten years.

I'm making a new layout... I promise. It's taking me awhile because I always put it on the bottom of my priorities. :( I also need to learn how to code more effectively XD ... I suck. I need to take HTML/XHTML/CSS/PHP classes or whatever... Care to help? :p hehe.

Anyway, I came back from NF's party... was really cute and fun. I gorged on Chinese food (not really) and I finally discovered the magic of cream puffs. Mmm... we girls watched The Prince and Me starring Julia Stiles. Blah, the movie was EXTREMELY predictable... I think there are SO MANY movies out there that go like this: some prince doesn't want to be a prince anymore, goes over to America, falls in love, the girl finds out he's a prince, she gets mad, but eventually things work out okay. A "cute" chick flick movie--but I could so tell when they were going to makeout or almost "do-it" everytime in the movie, so yes, once again, predictable. I'm not sure if the critics liked it... probably not. Too cliched? The guy wasn't half bad though, although I've seen better. I proclaimed I wanted to marry a Danish guy when I grew up, but I think I was kidding...

I actually bought clothes this weekend. Lots of sales going on because of Labor Day which by the way, I should wish you all a good one. :) Goody's, there's RACKS full of "Buy 1 Get 1" which is really rare, although I still think $30 for two items of clothing is expensive :P ... I bought a pink/white somewhat long skirt and an American flag shirt @ Stein Mart... earlier, I bought a blue polo (looks like a tennis top) at Rich's, so yeaaa... that's more clothes that I buy in a year lol :)

Jogging = great. I've been making use of my treadmill lately, hehehe... jogging for even 10 minutes is very tolling though, especially when you don't do it often. I need to build my endurance XD ...

Why do I have Mandy Moore's song "Crush" in my head?!?!?! >:O "I got a crush on yoooou..." I hate it when songs are stuck on repeat in my head, especially songs like that. Is it trying to tell me something?

Wow, as of today, I'm ranked 140907 at amazon reviews :D After some really bad reviews where I did not do much but whine about how long the book was (...it was!), I started writing more constructive reviews on books that I have read. I guess my change of heart is working because for most of my reviews (I have 28 so far), at least one person had said it was helpful. Hopefully, I'll make it to the top ____ sometime. Wouldn't that be grand?

I have a vocabulary test tomorrow. Just looking at these soporific word lists make me tired already! Well, at least I am being a sedulous student studying all night for this, plus looking over some debate evidence and writing a book review on The Last of the Mohicans on amazon. *insert big grin* I have a propensity to multitask, although sometimes it proves to be counterproductive... hopefully today is not the case. Gah. Sometimes, I feel like school is my fetter - it chains me to it 24/7, never ceasing to let me go. How am I supposed to get through my last years in high school, four more years in college, and graduate school (possibly? definitely?) Why do we spend 1/2 or 1/3 of our lives in school? Blah... -_- How bizarre.

In case you didn't catch on, I got so bored I started incorporating my list of vocab in that passage above. I guess it's a good way to remember words if you know what you're doing...

Oh, yes, does anyone have any King Arthur books they would like to recommend? I am reading I am Morgan Le Fay by Nancy Springer now because Jane T. said it was good (thanks Jane, although you won't read this...) hehe. I'm such a bibliophile...

Okay, off to try to understand what the heck is the situation going on in Afghanistan (no, not really, but I mean... debate files) ... ^_^ TOURNAMENT SEPTEMBER 11TH AND I'M (Joy?) SO NOT PREPARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Currently listening to: Standing Still by Jewel