All I Want for Christmas is You...

Let's see, hmm, I've watched three movies this holiday season so far: Elizabethtown, Narnia, and King Kong. Elizabethtown looked good, but there was no plot... Kirsten Dunst is so annoying in that movie ~_~ well at least for the first half of it. Narnia was sooooooo amazing; it was like Lord of the Rings (although I'm not sure which is better). I felt that it was rather faithful to the book, so that's good. The special effects were really nice; yay Mr. Tumnus. King Kong is... uh... well, really melodramatic. I went into the movie theater not knowing what to expect, but when I saw it, I knew this wasn't what I thought it would be (LOL). King Kong doesn't even make his first apperance until about 1/3 into the movie, and the movie is 3 hours long. Naomi Watts is really pretty, though - I like that hairstyle on her, LOL (she looks eerily similar to Nicole Kidman, except her features aren't as harsh). Jack Black looked ... out of place in such a serious movie, but then again, he was the idiotic guy in the movie.

I think I'm getting sick. My throat is feeling scratchy. :(

I'm leaving for Orlando this Saturday. I'll miss you all :) My non-existent blog audience! Haha. Oh, Howard, if you're reading this, HEY! I'M SO SORRY I MISSED YOUR IM! I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING FUN IN TAIWAN! AND I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M TYPING IN CAPS. :)

Well, I turned 18 on December 13. Another year, another year's worth of friends, advice, love, homework, and who knows what else. Happy birthday to me, and thanks to all those who wished me well. :)

I've learned a lot this year, as always. There has been some heartbreaking moments this year as a 17-year-old but the heartwarming ones may just well outweigh those.

I'll probably write more insights later, maybe when we usher in the new year (2006). Right now, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, my dear.

Wow, I haven't updated this thing in awhile. To think that I was a semi-daily blogger, too... with somewhat real posts filled with substance. Great!

Yesterday I got my Georgia Tech acceptance letter, yay! Today, I also got my University of Georgia acceptance letter, yay! In case everyone rejects me, I have two schools to go to, now... hooray. I hope my scores, ECs, hooks, etc. can convince UPenn and other schools to accept me. Gah. The wait is really agonizing. Actually I need to submit some more college applications come December 14th, if I don't get into UPenn. I have this sinking feeling that I got rejected/deferred.

Man, I look so ugly...I look in the mirror and am not happy with what I see... dark circles, not so great skin due to no sleep. My face looks fuller too - lack of good eating habits?! ... :( I wish I didn't care about my appearance, but I do have to keep face.

Happy belated birthday Todd! You're 18 now! :D

My 18th birthday is next Tuesday. Wish me a good one, would ya? :) By then, I will hopefully be "hen ching song" and not do anything, yea!! I want to go out to eat w/all of my close friends.

I need to go Christmas shopping! Ugh! I bought Jane T. something today (shh) but I have 829374 other people to buy stuff. Well, no, actually around 30... but considering I take forever to shop for people, this might take awhile.

I GOT AN A ON MY SENIOR PROJECT PAPER! Yes, my P.O.S. paper. Even Mr. Owen said my thesis wasn't really that strong, and I totally agree.... o well, I'm happy! Now I just need to present it. I'm thinking of playing my flute in class... (which ties in w/my senior project)

^_^

Hi all,

I just finished reading The Winter Mantle by Elizabeth Chadwick. UGH. This is one of those books tha I have a tendency to pick up and wonder why I even bothered picking them up in the first place! I could NOT put it down in the first 250 pages or so (medieval historical fiction/romance, of course) but after the main character fades away and the new generation, I guess, lives on, there is no plot whatsoever. I'm disappointed because the first half was really good while the other half was an utter waste of time.

Yesterday was our last day of school before we come back next Monday. YES. :) I'd like to say "You're cool!" to Ishita because she's a hilarious, fun girl who I've got to know very well this semester :) through trials and tribulations of school (AP Bio, AP Lit, AP Physics, and sometimes AP Calc when we don't do our homework)! :D Ah. My friends, old and new, never cease to amaze me.

Augh, my monthly friend stopped by. Time for another week of pain and torture -_- My mom said that eating lots of sweets, albeit unhealthy, does ease the pain. I remember last time, I ate all these processed sugary foods right before she dropped by, and the week was nearly pain free. Eh. Little Miss Debbie is my best friend.

Sorry for lack of posts. I've been feeling very down/lazy lately, and nearly all of my journals have been neglected. Apologies (not many people read this anyway, though)...

If you REALLY want to keep up with my life, visit my xanga: http://www.xanga.com/dani1213 and you can see all the idiosyncrasies of Dani! Yes! ... The Xanga is reserved for random ramblings like WTF =\ haha :)

<3 1 year soon

I'm cold.

(At least my hands are).

OSU lost to TX last night, 47-28 (if I remember correctly) - that wasn't too fun because my mom got really upset over the game (!). Usually we're like, bleh, but my mom and dad went to OSU for grad. school, and if it weren't for OSU, I wouldn't be here (in this form as a girl named Dani) :P so yeah. Was depressing... first half, the Cowboys were doing really well, but Vince Young ran x number of yards all the time, and yeah.

GA lost to FL 10-14 as well. Boo. Why doesn't GA ever win vs. FL? :\ Not that I like GA and/or FL, but just wondering.

Okay, off to work. Once again. I love Daylight Savings Time change o' clocks.

Oh no, the dangers of fall break: NOT DOING ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE. OR NOT GETTING EVERYTHING DONE.

Yes, I am a workaholic. It bothers me when there is unfinished business.

Hmm, so far I have:

-Gone to Cumberland Island to get eaten alive by mosquitoes, learn how divine the water feels on one's bare toes at the beach, write chinese words in the sand, listen to "fob" music, walk 3.5 miles or so, and avoiding horse poop left and right. Oh, and watched The Longest Yard... "I sucked at football... I got picked after the white kids..." or something like that. I'm not good at remember word for word quotes in movies.

-Volunteered at the Red Cross stuffing envelopes, whee...

-Bought 2389434 cans of food at Publix

-Went downtown to walk the Breast Cancer Walk with Ning-Fei - why are we not getting any closer... oh, and walked another mile at the park. Total? Probably 4-5 miles. Exercise is good.

-Went to Walmart - decided that the clothes aren't really that great... :P

-Finally beat the last levels of Soul Calibur II with cheap Link :P

-Started my "Why UPenn" essay and decided that it sucks, really badly...

-Learned some Chinese and realized how little I know...

-Practiced flute

What's left undone and what is bugging me right now:

-RESEARCH PAPER

-CALC HW (I'm going to get a bad grade this nine weeks XD)

-Other college stuff? I'm not sure

-Reading for UGA FF (I'm not going to get it... and I think my book isn't that great. I'm screwed)

-Recorded flute recordings. I need a better recorder.

-Bio photojournal??!?!?!? ...

-Beta Club T-shirt

-My, yes, "Why Upenn" essay

WHY CAN'T I JUST SIT BACK AND DO NOTHING? Why am I typing in caps? *frustration, anger, anxiety*

I'm still here.

Productivity: low/suffering

Desperation level: pretty high

I'm tired of this silly cycle - thank goodness no more band practices - I hate sleeping at 1+am almost everyday because all this work simply accumulates.

I hate being on the top.

I already have visions of cold weather and Christmas trees in my head - praying that I may hold on until then - It's the light at the end of the tunnel -

Maybe I should be content with just 90's. What does a 95 mean anyway?

I still have too much stuff to do.

Senior year is a lot more busy than junior year. Junior year was just bad because the contrast between that and sophomore year (at least, for us) was pretty hefty. Senior year is bad because there's AP classes, college applications, senior projects, extracurriculars... and we still need to find time to have fun because after all, we are seniors.

Uh, my "fun" factor is lacking right now, but I'll make it up this Thanksgiving/Christmas breaks. Oh yea.

:)

My Emory App is due next week - don't think I'll get Emory Scholar, but that's okay...

Sunday, I drove myself over to the nursing home with my flute and music at the ready. The people there weren't expecting me, I don't think. NHS does Elmcroft visits every last Sunday (or something like that, I don't remember), but I have a strange feeling that not too many people show up to these events.

Anyway, I timidly approached this lady who was having a late lunch (it was around 2pm), and she looked confused as to where to place me. Finally, she placed me in the Alzheimer's ward. The interesting thing is that they keep the ward locked with a special security system. The lady let me in, but if I wanted to leave the ward, and nobody was there to help me, I would be stuck in there.

Anyway, I digress. This is only the second or third time I've been at this particular nursing home, and although these visits make me sad, I still try to go every now and then. Making these senior citizens smile makes my day, even if I do have to play my flute for two hours. Although playing for two hours is rough- I tend to run out of things to play. I need to start commiting more pieces to memory. It comes in handy.

There was this man sitting on the couch in the corner. He didn't look too old - maybe around 70. Everytime I finished a song, he would always be the first to clap. I would look into his eye and nervously smile and mouth, "Thank you." Nice old men are a joy to see because most nursing homes are full of women... and most of them are kind of cranky.

The women who worked there were all smiles when I finished - I didn't realize that they were listening, as well. Some of them were hanging out in the back. They commented on how cute I was and how I should come back more often.

I should.

I'm going to the nursing home (another one) on October 1st. I think I'll bring my flute that day.

I'm so lazy... I never write in here, in my Xanga, or in my real journal (where it really matters) anymore. Lots of stuff happen, but I'm usually too tired/sad/HAPPY (?) to write about anything anymore. Mostly tired.

-_- Zzz... that's me...

Anyway, I saw all of my old middle school friends at the football game on Friday. My school lost miserably 25-0, but esta bien. I just wanted to see all my friends again, and yes, go through the heartache that I always feel after leaving this game.... it's my last one, and after this year, I probably won't see them again much.

As Todd says, "SEEN-YORZ!" 06!

Oh, how lovely.

Last night, I watched the last episode of this Chinese soap opera - it's about this angel who comes down from heaven to see if there are any good, righteous people left. A lot of the members from "Do Yu" were in this soap opera. Well, in my opinion, this soap opera was kind of weak because all the episodes were about daily life, and nothing traumatic even happened. The angel (played by this innocent Chinese guy ^_^) and the cute girl (from "Do Yu") are so pure, it's crazy :) I cried at the ending because it was, in a sense, bittersweet. Oh gosh, my sister proclaimed that I'm "emo." Okay, so I cry a lot, big deal.

Blah, I'm so tired and overworked- I need to stop doing so much stuff... ;(

I already missed 2 days of school this year - blahhhhhhhh...

I'm so proud of my heritage... call me a dork, but a lot of the weekends, this is what keeps me up at night when I should be a normal teenager that's simply sleeping. You know what I do a lot of the weekends? If it's not sleeping (haha), no, it's not partying and getting drunk like a monkey (like some of my classmates have a penchant to do), but it's learning Chinese. Translating words and phrases.

I wish everyone had the opportunity to grow up billingual. Since I did grow up billingual, indeed, I have no idea what the other side feels like, to only have a (somewhat?) command of the English language and nothing else. Parlez-vous francais? and Hola do not count. I know a lot of kids in high school French, Spanish, etc. are only in there for credit/college applications, and I know most kids don't even come close to "profiency" in high school foreign language. I know unless I do outside reading and speaking, there's no way I can survive in Mexico, or Spain, or Venuzuela despite my (now) three years of Spanish class. However, I have been exposed to Mandarin since I was born, really, and if you threw me in China or Taiwan, I think I could manage :)

Being billingual (or trilingual, or whatever) is a powerful feeling, and a useful one at that! :) Being able to communicate with relatives, businesspeople, and simply people from that country(ies) is a huge barrier people can overcome with another language. There's a lot of appreciation to be gained with the knowledge of another language, too. For your own background and the other country's background and culture. Okay, in my case, there are still a lot of words/phrases that I'm not sure what they mean, but with every sentence I translate, hey, I'm getting there. It's like decoding some "secret" message, only like, two billion people know, but you don't.

Which gives great satisfaction to me. :) Maybe I should be one of those cryptologists my physics teacher was talking about - breaking all this code. It's kind of the same, right? :) I love figuring out and deciphering stuff. Definitely the hard part, but the end result is almost always so rewarding.

I'm still alive.

I didn't go to school today because I woke up exhausted. Actually, I almost didn't wake up, I don't think... or get up, anyway. Bah. I slept from 8pm - 6am, 7am-11am ... what a day, what a day. I'm still not really okay because my health is perpetually just bad.

Anyway. I watched The Terminal w/my family this evening. What a cute movie - and it's not thy typical romance movie, either, which was fantastic. It didn't end the way I thought it would, but I guess that what makes movies/books stand out, eh? Bravo, Tom Hanks :) And first time I saw Diego Luna in action - ha ha ! :) He's still on my wall...

Okay, off to bed. Volunteering tomorrow. :)

I don't know if I should still do Early Decision to UPenn...

Hello.

Senior year is no fun... whoever said it was fun was probably referring to second semester. I always find myself sleeping at 12am at the earliest... this is bad. Am I procrastinating too much? Maybe I should step back and observe what in the world I end up doing after school, after band practice. Almost every day, two hours is lost due to power napping.... and then like, 1-1.5 for eating, showering, brushing teeth, etc. I wish I didn't come home at 5pm almost everyday.

LHS WON 12-0 TODAY! CONGRATULATIONS!

I'm so excited. My freshman year, our football team was 0-10 for the whole season. Since then, we have never had a winning football record, and we just got lost to winning like, three games and losing the rest. Now, I'm back in marching band (after a year hiatus) and excited that we're now 2-1, which is a miracle to everyone's eyes! We're seniors now, and I hope we can end with a winning record. That would be nice to be the class at LHS that actually has a winning record, for once. Let's break this dry spell.

In other news, I found out there are COLORED PICCOLOS and they are so pretty! The base is one color while the keys are another. There are pretty pairs like blue and silver, purple and blue, red and gold, etc. My piccolo is dead (you should see me trying to play it. I look so silly), so I am in search of another one. I don't know if I have time to play in college, but I would like to have the chance... perhaps it would be an outlet from all this studying I would probably be doing. YEAH! I love music.

I hate studying.

Yesterday... after spending two hours volunteering at a nursing home, I almost slept the rest of the day. Things have been rather hectic, and I've been getting not a lot of sleep. I think my health is failing, which is definitely not a good sign since I need to be really robust and healthy in order to get anything accomplished. I've downed like, 200 ounces of gatorade/powerade to replenish all that lost minerals/electrolytes from excessive sweating.

There is so much stuff to do, and so little time, but it is not even September yet. Am I worrying too much?

Sleep-deprived.

I never seem to get lots of sleep lately - around 5-6 hours/weeknight. The thing is, even if I do have time to sleep, I...don't. It's quite strange. I must have an addiction to reading, which, considering the alternatives (drugs, alcohol - read the Newsweek issue about meth), it sounds rather good and rather nerdy. Like, last week, I couldn't stop reading summer 2005 back issues of Newsweek (I wish I could write/have the knowledge of Fareed Zakaria), even though it was around 12am. Of course, there's the constant studying because I don't get home until 5pm three days a week and I have to leave two hours for nap (and shower, and a short dinner) because standing in the sun for two hours is really taxing on the body. Like my good freshman buddy Jaime says, I "sweat like a dog." Thanks.

I love my freshmen! They're so funny.

I just sweated about 10 pounds of of me.

Tonight was the first football game of the season. I am guessing the humidity index was like 2450% because I've never sweated so much in my life. Ok, how about this - all the practices I've been to so far amounted to this one game. YIKES. Not to gross you out or anything (I want you to come back), but I looked like I took a shower. Except, uh. I didn't.

Shuaib is awesome - when we band kids (dorks) were kneeling for the halftime show for the other band, I saw him and Vikas (these are my two brown friends, woot) walk by. I said hello and complained about the utter humidity (UGH), and he went and bought me a powerade, which I had to drink after the halftime show. Awww, thanks for spending $2 on me, that means a great deal, especially how I was dying of dehydration out there. :) I got to hang out with my Indian guy friends (and my girls, ZAHEERA and ISHITA) at third quarter, which was nice. I usually don't see all of them congregate in one area (I wish I had more Chinese guys my age/grade... cool Chinese guys anyway. The little we have I don't really associate with them). Ah, I love my friends, but why do I have to have this stupid antisocial part of me that seems to kick in at the wrong place, wrong time, everytime?

We played lots of cheers. I screamed a lot. I played an octave higher on the piccolo, and everyone knows that the piccolo is already high enough :P I misheard those cheerleaders' chants... they were spelling L A K E S I D E and I always caught the last part, but I didn't understand what they were spelling, so I thought they were spelling S T I C K E R. My friend and my sister almost died laughing. Eh. Funny things happen when one is delirious, tired, and dehydrated.

I finally stepped in the Lakeside bathroom for the first time in my four years there. Wow. Stadium bathrooms are horrible.

Well, to wrap it up, after many frustrating "so close, yet so far" moments, surprise surprise, we lost 20-10.

And now I'm going to eat something. :)

I love cheesecake.

When I was little, I was repulsed by the very idea of cheese + cake. One salty thing and one sweet thing? How in the world did they ever go together? I tasted some, and I thought what a weird combination it was. I felt like I was eating soft, sweet cheese... you know, some items just don't mix together, and I almost gagged.

I'm not sure what I was thinking because now, I'm addicted to that stuff! Maybe the strange sweetness of cheesecake finally grew on me. We bought this no-bake cheesecake that required just milk and mixing, and after freezing it to firm it up, I already ate almost 1/4 of it :D ... wow. The graham cracker pie crust is absolutely divine with it. You know how fat I am going to get? :D No wonder I'm so, uh, well endowed. I grew up with all this milk and good food, and I'm adding cheesecake to the list. If I grow up to be featured in one of those Success Stories in Shape magazine, that will be a sad day indeed. You know, the classic "she was skinny in high school but in college she gained 200 pounds and finally got back to a healthy weight" articles that are fun to read. I love the before/after pictures. I hope I don't have any drastic ones, though.

I can't believe I wrote for two minutes about cheesecake.

Marching band practices are hell.

They're so hot and blistering. Sweat beads drip down constantly from my face and neck. It is a most disgusting site. The grass and mud beneath my feet don't help, either.

Two hours of hell... Three days a week... This had better be worth it.

Anyway, you are now reading the entry of a girl who got one hour of sleep last night. That's right. This idiot ended up taking four tablets of Midol. If you don't know what that is, it's an OTC pain reliever for menstrual cramps (in particular), and it contains 60mg/tablet of caffeine to perk up the average bloated, cranky menstruating woman (like me, except I might be above average when it comes to cranky). 60 x 4 = 240mg of caffeine for me in one day = no sleeping from 12:30AM - 5:00AM.

Wow. I had to turn on the rap station full blast this morning to wake myself from this dazed mode. So strange. Everything felt surreal. I had to chant (more like scream) vocabulary words and song lyrics to wake myself up on the way there. Thank God nothing happened because if I were any more tired, there could have been a serious accident.

Time to shower, nap (for once), and study, study, study.

I better get into a good college. Preferably with financial aid/money, too :D haha... unlike the rest of my school, I am rather anti-UGA.

This is the first time in a long time that I have gone without a personal website.

Granted, a lot of the pages I hadn't touched in awhile and were in need of major updating/touch up, but hey, they were still there, and I spent some hours typing (or c + p) the HTML coding and messing with Photoshop. Keeping a blog is fun, but it's kind of... well, empty! I've been so used to seeing "ABOUT SITE," "DANI," "GUESTBOOK," and so on, that with just the blogging in it (notice how my entries seem to vary in length?) is a bit unsettling. Nadine offered hosting to me, which I am ever grateful :) but I'm on "hold," sorta, due to school. Maybe in a week or two (or three), I'll get my life back on track and start HTMLing/Photoshop-ing once again! Haha, I've been doing websites since like, 2nd-3rd grade, however rudimentary they are/were. It has been awhile, yes indeed.

I looked at my list of prospective colleges. Most of them are very selective, and I'm wondering if I should put more good schools but for my profile, a "safety school," you know, in case I get rejected from everything except GA Tech and UGA. Ahhh. Am I just throwing $300 of fees down the drain? Well, if you hope for nothing, you will never be disappointed, so if you get something (good), then that's great because you weren't expecting it, and good surprises are usually, well, good! Sometimes, I don't know if I agree with that 100%, but what kind of mentality am I supposed to have towards this issue?

Ahh, everyday at band practice, I look upon the flute/piccolo section. Most of them are new freshmen, and when I see them, I sense the "innocence" and the, eh, vulnerability of being the youngest and the newest ones on the field. Yes, I was there once, and totally clueless :P but I ended up making friends and being commended for my playing (Erica, Heather, and Leanne, if you're out there, hey! I miss you all!). Quite an experience. I am not a leader, though, because I rejoined marching band a bit late in the summer, but I still feel, I don't know, protective of these kids, especially the three that are near me on the field and very awesome indeed. Except for my younger sisters, I have never really felt this kind of feeling towards younger people because I used to be one of them myself. Plus, I'm not too satisfied with leadership this year, but I don't want to, like, comandeer the position and upset some people. Maybe if there is an appropriate time, I will step in. Actually, I need to teach them some cheers/stands music.

AP Physics C actually requires thinking! It's not TOTALLY math. We need to get out of this spoonfeeding, cookie-cutter mold like people tend to be in math class. I just hope I don't fail Physics this year :P or make a *gasp* B.

So much on my mind!

Well, thanks to this 6.0 GPA dilemma, I've been wondering if I should take an online course. Registration is until August 20, so I have some time. I am wondering if I can throw in an extra "AP" online (I found Statistics, World History, and Psychology, for starters). I'm guessing it would be after school, but these websites and my own stupid board of education don't tell me where online students are supposed to take the classes! Am I supposed to go after school in a lab or in the comfort of my own home or a public library? The sites say "log on anytime during the day," but I am pretty sure that last year, kids had to stay after school. I don't know. Maybe I can get out of those horrendous (hot) band practices on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. No more sweat-soaked shirts, maybe? -_-

School hasn't been too terrible yet. To my delight, I got a, 84 on the way-too-long Macbeth quote test... although I think I should have gotten higher if I just went back and checked some answers. You know how it is. This is the first time I'm happy with a B! :O ... our class average was a 54.

Methyl - CH3 nonpolar
Amino - NH2 weak base, accepts H+
Carboxyl - COOH weak acid, donates H+
Carbonyl ketone - C=O not at the end, polarity
Carbonyl aldehyde - H-C=O At end, polarity

I thought we were done with orgo back in AP Chem. XD

Macbeth? Act and Scene? What?

I can't do quotes. Especially for those that require labeling of what act/scene they were located.

I think I'm going to fail tomorrow.

Thursday, I had band practice from 3:00-5:00p.m.

We were all about to pass out. It was humid. It was hot. We only had one water break. Every time we had to go get our instruments on the ground, they would yell that it wasn't water break when a few of the dehydrated ones (like me) would trudge to the giant cooler. "It's not water break, you know."

All I have to say is: WHAT. THE. HECK.

I saw one poor freshman who was on the verge of passing out. I could have added myself to the ranks, too, when I was on the stairs coming down to go back to the band room (we practiced on this field that requires steps to reach). Everything blacked out for a second, which was not exactly great news because I was on the verge of stepping down the step.

You know what makes me mad? About 70% of the time we spend out there in practice, we get nothing accomplished. In this mass confusion, I just stand there, conversing with my fellow bored flutists around me, while I wonder why I am not home sleeping after a long day or doing much needed studying.

I know, it's only the first couple days of school. But I've seen better first practices. I wish our leaders were better. I wish we cared more. I don't, but I wish I did.

On another cynical note (copied and pasted and modified from my Xanga):

I'm wondering if I should drop Spanish 3 (not AP) and take some random AP class. Why? This new 6.0 GPA system at my school, where if you have AP classes, those classes goes up to the 6.0 (for a 100), depending on what grade you get. This is very unfair because that can mean that I worked my butt off three years of high school (while being consistently 2nd or 3rd in the class), but then someone can beat me in rank by .02 of a point GPA wise our senior year just because they took one extra AP than me... like ... AP Psychology, which every knows is an "easy" class. Even if the teacher has upped her standards a little, I really doubt that the class has as much weight as, say, AP Biology or Physics C, for that matter. I didn't really realize the significance of this new 6.0 scale (all other non-AP classes are 4.0-5.0 for A's) until I saw what all of my other classmates are taking - 5 to 6 APs ... which can probably boost their GPAs by a mere .05 points, but hey that's .05 points more than me, which is detrimental to class rank. Why are they using this new system when the AP grades already has a 1.05 curve to begin with? By the time I'm done with high school, I will have taken 6 APs total (which is not bad, right?), but there are people that will have taken 9 or 10... but some of them are like, weird classes (like Psych? Env Science? Most of my friends laughed those APs off...). =\ I worked my butt off too much just so I can lose everything I earned for three years in my senior year.

To continue my ramblings: Necesito practicar mi flauta. AHORA. ^_^

My last first day of high school begins...

Tomorrow.

I'm really surprised at how fast time flies. No matter how big of a cliché it is, well, that fact is true. It's a pity that I'm still stuck in the mindset that I am 15. Why can't we ever seem to grow up these days?

I'm excited about this year. Sure, there are going to be days where I hate life. But I've learned how to embrace challenges and just, well, deal with it. Hopefully, I'll emerge as a better person, and one who's definitely ready to take on whatever there is after I'm done with this year. I hope to strengthen some friendships because last year, I was a wee bit antisocial when it came to doing anything. There are some people that are really beautiful gems, and I love them for being themselves! :D I hope to hang out with them more often instead of like, being stuck at home studying Bio all day.

'06.

So close, yet so far.

I bought Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time for Gamecube back in March or so, and since then, I haven't really had time to play it much. Well, that's changed because now it's the last days of summer, and I'm trying to get in all of my gaming that I can before I don't have time anymore. If you don't know what the game/series is about, it's about this Middle Eastern (?) Prince who acquires this dagger that can hold the Sands of Time. Something goes horribly wrong at the Sultan's palace, and everyone's turned into sand... except for you (the Prince) and this beautiful princess named Farrah. You wander through this "obscenely large palace" with lots of booby traps and walls to scale. Whoohoo. This game is time consuming because one usually has to get a full view of the huge room to see where to jump to next.

I was happily playing along, and I even got to see this cute cutscene where Farrah says, "My love" to me (although I'm like, knocked out). Whoohoo, I'm 69% done with the game! Shortly after, I attack about 30 of these "sand creatures," and when I'm done, I go and save at the save spot.

When I come back from the short scene, my screen says "GAME OVER." I thought it was a joke, so I hit "retry." Hey, wait a minute, what is Farrah doing in that pit full of spikes? "GAME OVER." Okay, you've told me that once already.

I thought the disk had a problem, so I took out and brushed it off gently. I even blew on my memory card because Gamecubers know how much dust that thing can accumulate.

No avail. Everytime I start the game again, it says "GAME OVER" because Farrah is being impaled on the spikes. Great.

I even went back to a previous save... at 33% completion. GUESS WHAT- that has a glitch, too, and with Farrah! She disappears, and then the game is over.

I am very mad at you, Ubisoft.

These past couple of days have been the busiest I've had this summer, considering that for the first half in June, I've been mostly "house-ridden" due to a sprained ankle. The first part of July was mostly spent touring the East Coast, and these last couple of days in July have been productive.

Monday and Tuesday were spent frying in the sun. Literally. Remember, sunscreen is your best friend this summer... oh, and water, too, lots of it! I decided to join band again this year, including marching band. If you don't know Georgia sun, be glad because it is SCORCHING! We spent 8:00-11:30, 1:00-3:00 doing nothing 60% of the time outside on the two hottest days of the year. I feel sorry for the people who do nothing but burn all the time (you know, the ones that turn really red?) - My scalp is really red/brown, and my left shoulder's epidermis is like, gone... (well, not really, but when showering, it sure feels like that) If you don't understand about the scalp part, it's like this: if you shaved off all of my hair on my head, there would be this red/brown jagged line amidst all this white :P

There's something new this year; a "Leadership Team" instead of traditional titles like "rank leader," "band captin," etc. Apparently, the leaders are supposed to be on the same level as every other leader, which doesn't make sense. Maybe they don't like hiearchies? There isn't an official "rank leader" title anymore, which goes against all of my band sense. I always found it fun that there would be these people that would overlook their section plus a neighrboring one, like "Woodwind Captain" would look over flutes, clarinets, saxophones. Of course, there were rank leaders within each section, too. Best case scenario would be that the ___ Captain get along with everyone and know who's in their "care" because quite frankly, I don't know the clarinets or saxaphones that well. I think I would have been Woodwind Captain last year if I stayed in marching band, which is probably why I 'm talking about this... Now, they're just this one big mass. Like my friend said, "Why is half of the band 'leaders?'" Anyone who wanted to be a leader applied, and now we have twice, maybe three times the number of leaders...Sorry, I know I am on this bitter tirade here, forgive me, I'm not usually like that. I'm pretty sure not all of them are competent.

I went to volunteer at school yesterday and today. Why am I showing myself around school a couple of days before we actually start? I do this every year, volunteering... Fellow volunteers and I probably see more of the school than most people, especially those that commit truancy. I helped out with stamping and moving books around yesterday, and today I helped decorate a teacher's bulletin board. I got a life lesson about how AP Statistics can make one live comfortably in retirement 50 years from now by predicting the stock market. Good idea, Mr. LaMarsh!

All right, I'm really sleep-deprived right now, so I will go to sleep now. I have band practice again tonight, and I'm considering on skipping it... however, I don't like skipping out on things :P

Hi! After nearly a month of no contact, I'm back... but not at memento--mori.org. I have no idea where Kathie's domain went, and I have not heard from her in a really long time. If this is you, Kathie, please e-mail me (you know the address).

A lot of things have happened lately, but I haven't had time to recap it all. All right, here goes. Since I'm a dork like that, for easy reference, you can click on the following words to read about a section since this blog entry is like, fifty in one. Or you can just read and skip around! (Duke) (Connecticut) (UPenn) (Vermont) (Harvard) (Yale) (Miscellaneous)

My family and I went to Vermont and the New England area from the end of June to mid-July. Why? College Tours Summer 2005, of course! I'm about to be a senior in high school, and I'm really excited about the year, even though I'm taking four APs and doing marching band/band, too. This trip gave me a long get-away from home and some memories of beautiful campuses. Getting in ______ , however, is another issue.

Our first college was Duke, and in addition to being greeted by humid/hot weather, I got to see one of my good friends Howard, who I haven't seen in awhile :) (since we went to Duke a second time on the way back, I'll write about my experiences there, too). He showed us around campus, noting buildings, etc. Some people don't like it, but I thought the Gothic architecture was elegant, especially the famous chapel. The gardens there are really pretty and big; we only walked a little portion before we had to go because we were parked "illegally," ie without a ticket. I thought it was funny how the admissions and other office buildings were originally people's houses. Anyway, I think I will apply to Duke because I hear they are really good for pre-med/med, but I have no idea if I will get in. I didn't realize how selective they were until quite recently (yeah, I've been living in a cave), and I don't exactly have the best SAT scores (to us Asians, it's like, > 1500), or that great of involvement in extracirriculars, besides flute.

Traffic was really bad up in the New York area around July 4th. Argh. On a turnpike, it took us two hours to go from point A to point B one mile away. Sigh. A funny thing happened in Connecticut... since the North doesn't seem to have many restrooms, we stopped by in this random plaza searching for the bathroom. We finally spotted a McDonald's, and as we were walking towards it, I heard someone yell my name. Turns out to be my friend David's voice, and with it, his parents and a friend. Hey, what are the odds of meeting up with someone in the middle of nowhere? Yes, he goes to Yale, but we weren't quite that near New Haven yet. I think in a couple of months, David and I will still laugh at that. :D

We also visited UPenn in Philadelphia ("Philly"). The campus has this historical feel to it and lots of foliage! The main walk, Locust Walk, is really pretty, with buildings lining it (like the Wharton School!) and trees. I saw the giant broken in front of the library. If you haven't seen this thing, it's huge - Probably 10 feet across (I can't judge distances). The story is quite random, how the students say that the button is from the nearby Ben Franklin statue and, he got too fat so a button popped off. Anyway :) I hear their Wharton business school for both undergrad and grad is phenomenal, and I was pleased to see that UPenn offers dual/joint degree programs, which is awesome because of all the different courses you can take towards your degrees :) If I actually got in UPenn, I'd probably do dual/joint. Eek, but I hate how all these Ivies and private schools are 40k/year!

Vermont is a really spectacular place. I want to go there for the summer since Georgia summers are almost unbearable. We lived in this small but cozy resort nestled in the mountains. I could stand outside and appreciate a lot of green. Actually, we were so removed from civilization that I heard a bear regularly comes to the dumpster in the back... wow, can you imagine dumping the trash only to find a bear staring in your face? :D The mountain roads are scary at night because it's so windy and twisting, and the mountaineers zoom past you at 75 MPH with no effort while I can barely stand my dad going 50 MPH on those roads. It gets foggy at night, and there aren't many streetlights; I bet with the snow, it's even more dangerous. The towns here are small; the biggest one we went to was Brattleboro, and it had everything so that people could live comfortable lives there. There's a cute downtown there, with tons of shops you can't find anywhere else and good food. Felt like a big, comfy bubble!

Harvard. One of the two schools we all hear about in education and where all these people in politics came from. Well, I didn't know that Harvard is nestled in a bustling city, around the Boston area. Talk about traffic! We had a little difficulty finding parking and walking to the campus because of so many cars and people! A real city, huh (this is from a girl who's lived in the suburbs almost all her life). :) I like all the coffee joints and cute restaurants everywhere. The weather is pretty chilly out there, too! I actually bought a Harvard hoodie (biggest splurge on clothing) and used it because it was so chilly! Anyway. Harvard's campus just felt...old. I can't really remember much of the campus since our tour guide talked way too much and didn't do enough showing, but we did see that John Harvard (?) statue. I didn't know that at a lot of schools, rubbing the foot of a statue equals good luck, so I was a little disgusted to see the feet of many campus statues so tarnished... you know how many people touch that everyday?! Yes, I did touch the one at UPenn, although hesitantly. Anyway, I'm not sure what people major in at Harvard - philosophy? Economics? Pre-med? I know they're ranked highly all the time, but what do people at Harvard (not grad, undergrad) do?

Yale's fun. :) New Haven is this small city. Sure, there's traffic, but not as crazy as Harvard's. There's a downtown with all the great shops but half the hectic air that other bigger cities have. Of course, there are lots of trees (there aren't many trees where I live anywmore since people seem to love building more and more shops and homes that make the area even more crowded. But I digress) and what is that I spot, SIDEWALKS? :) If I remember correctly, the buildings are scattered this way and that (or am I getting that confused with UPenn?). Their acceptance rate is unusally low; last year it was 9.7%. I mean, should I even waste my money/time applying? ...

Well, I will write more about the instate schools I went to later on. I think this is a big enough entry that I can afford to write in another entry. I miss all of you that I haven't seen/read your blogs in awhile! Summer is ending very quickly for us; we start school August 3rd (those stupid people at the Board of Education), so I need to start doing something productive.

Sorry for not updating for so long.

I'm going to Vermont in these next couple of days... along the way, we'll stop by Duke University (go Blue Devils) to tour around. I'll be able to see a beloved friend I usually don't see these days... Up in northeastern United States, we'll tour some more colleges (my family and I). Sigh. I'm still incredibly lazy and useless around the house. I hate myself for doing this...

Anyway, don't expect to hear from me until maybe the 20th of July (long time, yes).

I will miss you all :D

I have just signed my life away.

Well, not really, but it's pretty close. Due to scheduling conflict, I'm now back in band both semesters, and in addition, I'm back in marching band. More hours of fun in the sun... well, more like sweat and toil. Sigh. One of my regrets is not doing marching band last year (my junior year). I could have been woodwind captain last year, but no, I was the idiot who decided to quit. Now I'm reduced to another piccolo on the line... guess I'll have to make the best of it. I pray I can manage this and all my APs. I'm a study-holic.

Lately, life's been just fantastic. Being in love has reduced me to a silly, inane girl.

But being the workaholic I am, I want to go back and do more productive stuff towards school... this incessant nagging in the back of my mind... why can't I just let go and not worry so much?

Being in love is one of the best feelings in the world. <3

***

Happy Father's Day to everyone, even if you're not a father. My sister and I pleasantly surprised our dad with two cute cards, a Snoopy "Cool Daddy-O" T-shirt, and some dark chocolate. That may not seem a lot, but my dad has mostly everything he needs, and he doesn't like us buying random gifts that will only end up collecting dust :) We all had a joyous morning, which is rare since most of us aren't up in the mornings.

We went out to eat, and around 4pm, my sister, dad, and I went to see Hitch at the 99 cent theater. Sigh. Sorry, that movie fell way below my expectations. I chuckled at some parts, but I wasn't rolling on the floor laughing like I thought I would be doing. The movie dragged on way too long, and that Hispanic girl was getting on my nerves! I didn't like her from the start. Will Smith could have been funnier. The movie was too cheesy and long for my liking.

BOOK-A-HOLIC: So far this summer, I have read 13 books. If I can, I want to read 50, but I don't know if that's stretching it a bit... then again, I am known for reading a lot. Well, maybe I should concentrate on other more important things than reading all these fiction novels... now why don't I have an 800 on the SAT I verbal yet...

Hey everyone! I saw Batman Begins today with some of my friends (love you all!) :) Christian Bale looks horrible with the mustache and beard (hello, Reign of Fire?) in my opinion, but when he's clean-shaven and not psycho (ahem, American Psycho), he looks pretty good. :) He did an okay job as Bruce Wayne. You know, the troubled 30-year-old type of guy. I always imagine Christian Bale as the dark one... :) (Equilibrium comes to mind) Katie Holmes was kind of... uhh, I don't know, a little wooden in her acting, but it was decent. Nice action scenes, though, but oh my gosh, the Scarecrow guy (the guy who terrorizes everyone with aerosol hallucinogens) was a joke. I thought it was a reject Joker at first. Get a new mask, honey. The torn up corn sack with holes for eyes was a horrible excuse for a mask.

Thanks and hugs to all those who voted for my site! *heart* I will be continuing it this week, so if you vote for my site again this week, I would really appreciate it! :) I used to do vote exchanging with 100s of people, but it got to be a hassle and an annoyance, so I guess I will rely on true voting this time. :)

I went out shopping with my sister today. "Sisters (and brothers?) are the friends you're born with!" On the days that we're not at each others' throats, we are, in fact, pretty good friends. We went to Target (woot) and the mall. I went shopping for a special someone and my dad. Father's Day is on June 19th! Of course, we swung by Wal-mart (open 24 hours!) and spent some more money there. I spent about $80 today, most of it not for me. :O Shopping all day drains your money like none other!!! Gah. We ate at Subway for dinner. Yum. Light mayo tastes exactly like regular mayo!

Yale sent me its application today. I guess I should apply there. My dad said the importance of Ivy League schools is the connections you will have after college. "It's especially important in business!" How true, you're so up there... ^_^'

Okay, I'm going to relax now. :)

Does anyone else have memory problems?

I think I am a likely candidate for Alzheimer's in my later years. If the present is any indication of how I will be in the years to come, oh goodness gracious, my future is not pretty. I have a problem remembering past events, from a mere six hours ago to six years ago. For some reason, certain things just won't stick in the crevices of my memory bank UNLESS I write it down. Perhaps that's why I keep a journal in real life. You can tell me a million times what you're planning on doing later today, and chances are, I'll be like, "Say wha?" if you ask me to ramble off your list. My friend asked me some facts about someone, and as I opened my mouth to answer, I paused, then I panicked. I couldn't remember... Well, perhaps my lack of memory isn't as bad as I think it is. Then why does it feel like I can't... recall... anything...to...save...my...life?

I hung out with my friend Kelly and her sister today. She and I have been friends for about 10 years now (hooray!) and I don't see her that often, to tell you the truth. She's a couple of years older than me, and you know how it is with friends older than you... the college years, etc. I still love her anyway and appreciate the times, including today, that we spend together. :D We ate pizza and cookies (junk food, yay) and watched some TV while we caught up on gossip. I love Chinese gossip... (call that sarcasm if you will ^^ but it's kind of addicting)

Nerds make better lovers =) Do you know I have a shirt that says I LOVE NERDS on it? Ha. Well, I do. ^_^

Hello, everyone! If you haven't seen it already, I would appreciate your voting for my site at Fantasy Fights: Garden of Enchantment. The banners for FF on my site here are on the left sidebar in case you haven't seen it. Fantasy Fights is a family-friendly, fun web competition. I actually won it awhile back in 2002 (you can see it on the winners list) under a different site (Queen Dani's Palace ^_^), so out of fun, I wanted to try it again. You may vote once per day (Monday - Friday except holidays) for Elegantly Insouciant, my site, and I would really, truly appreciate it :)

I've been in this horrible, listless mood these past couple of days. My ankle has been healing okay (for those who don't know, I tore a ligament about 2 weeks ago), except I still can't bend it in certain directions. In fact, I can't squat at all since it requires the bending of the ankle, blah. Thanks to all those who have wished me a fast recovery! *heart*

I might be destined for 5 APs next year. I talked to my school guidance counselor today, and I found out that debate, normally 2nd period, is moved to 6th (really, really odd, since I'm sure it's been 2nd period for years ;D), but AP Biology is also 6th period. Due to my unfortunate lack of interest in the debate activity this past year, I think it would be much better for me to drop debate over AP Bio, but... *in Mandarin Chinese* "man kuh shi" (not accurate pinyin, my dears ^_^) because I' ve done it for 3 years now (since 9th grade)... pity that the last year is no more...(yes, I can't let go!)

SAT IIs this past Saturday left me feeling rather grim. U.S. History and Chemistry were okay. MATH IIC however, well... For some reason, an 800 in math (either SAT I or II) continues to elude me (heck, even a 700 - I got a 690 last time), and I don't know why. I read in this book that females tend to score, on average, 40 points lower than males on math, and how the SAT may be biased towards males. Err, right. The SAT falsingly makes women believe they suck at math (at least, that's the feeling I'm getting) and consequently, my parents (my dad in particular) thinks I'm a failure at math. Riiight. Even though I get 100s in school... Well, the book did say that the SAT scores usually don't have that much of a correlation as to how well women do in college, GPA wise. We'll see. Maybe I'll be totally awesome in adv. Calculus, but an 800 in SAT math will forever elude me.

Peanut butter is good. ^_^ I put peanut butter on whole wheat English muffins, and it's quite scrumptious.

Who Links Here

Take care everyone, God bless :)

Ugh, guess who woke up at 7AM today...

I could have sworn I heard ESPN announce that the French Open Semifinals was at 8AM Eastern time. So, being the recent tennis nerd that I am, I woke up at 7AM (surprisingly, unaided!) and what do I find on ESPN?

Stump the Schwab!

Well, I learned some new sports trivia (NOT)... anyway, it's this game show featuring this burly guy named Schwab (last name, I presume) and some other middle aged guys try to get more trivia points (sportsof course) right than the big man. Whoo...

I have been up for two hours now, watching The Fairly Odd Parents ("Everything tastes better with rabies! Yay!" -Cosmo) and learning French. Actually, I think it would be cool to learn conversational French/Spanish because I mostly deal with reading/writing the languages (definitely more Spanish, since I've been learning it for 2 years now)... Engage in a conversation with me, and I'll be like, "No hablo espanol muy bien" or whatever ^_^" One thing I love about Mandarin Chinese: NO CONJUGATIONS! Everything is pretty much the same...

SAT IIs tomorrow. I'm going to fail math. Omg.

Ok, so I can't do math...

I'm a disgrace to all Asian people out there. -_-

Gosh, I don't know my calling in life. I don't know what I'm good at. Definitely not math, I'll tell you that. People look at me and expect me to jump into the medical field... in a perfect world, I think that's about right, but I don't know. I don't really feel a passion for science-y fields. Sure, I know chemistry (I think :D), but... what does that tell me? Not much. And sure, I play flute. Been playing since 6th grade. But what am I supposed to do with this after high school? Pack it away to collect dust for years to come, if I'm not doing band?

I just feel like I'm not smart enough. Ever.

Happy belated birthday to my hostess, Kathie!! :) I love you!

Yes, new layout. I've gotten better about this... it's been less than 2 months! ;) I was listening to Spanish rock/pop and found a cool lyric "My heart never left" ... I don't think it was talking about summer :p (a girl, I believe), but it sounds like a summer-y theme, right? I'm not turning into one of those *sPrIng BreAk 2005* girls, am I? :P Yikes, no.

My depression has lifted a little bit... I turned to learning French once again (how dorky am I?!) :) I wanted to learn Italian, but maybe I should master Spanish first... teehee. For now, I'll just be content with their music.

I got SAT scores back... I took it May (it's almost over!!), and well, I thought I did really badly on it because I didn't wait long enough since March. Well, I raised my overall score 70 points (woot), but I would like to break a 2200 =\ ... but I'm stupid when it comes to these things, so maybe not. I'm almost graduating, too. Yikes!! How time flies, as cliché as that might sound.

I went to physical therapy today, but I didn't need it since I'm still healing. Oh well. At least I got to talk to this Russian/Polish guy. Man, I love accents :D

Happy Memorial Day! May God bless our troops!!

Am I too dependent on exercise and/or moving around? A whole week since my sprained ankle incident, and my ankle is still not 100% healed. I have to go to physical therapy tomorrow.

Lately, I've been suffering moderate to extreme depression because I feel so suffocated at home. One day, I wanted to cry so much... but then again, it was like, 12:00 am or so. I just feel really trapped. I can't believe I waited 180 days (of school) to get out only to be confined to another prison: my house. The worse thing is that it's more that 8 hours a day, unlike school. That, and the fact that I don't move around as much, so where else does my food go? That's right, it gets turned into fat, and I am once again this blob. I just feel like this giant pillow with arms, legs, and a head. =(

People say I complain about my figure too much, and perhaps I do. But until I feel comfortable enough to walk to the pool with a swimsuit on (I have NEVER felt comfortable going to the pool), I don't think I will ever be happy... such is the fate of the perfectionist in everything s/he does =(

Sigh. Sorry, yeah, I do sound depressed. Once I get this brace off, I'll move around again and I will be a happy child once more. :) Don't injure yourself, my lovelies :) take care, be safe, be happy!

Oh, NADINE, where are you??? :P

PAIN. HURT. OW.

Hey, update on my life: I tore a ligament in my ankle on Monday. That's right, first couple days of summer and I've already got myself injured. >:o Monday was THE MOST PAINFUL DAY OF MY LIFE (I shed so many tears, my face was so red), and Tuesday resulted in a trip to the doctor, a soft cast, and crutches to boot. Right. Good news is that it comes off Friday, and I get a brace. Thank God it wasn't anything more serious...like, breaking all the tarsals/metatarsals in my foot.

I played Yahoo!Graffiti with some friends last night. Being "the last one to leave" stinks. Most of my better, longtime friends have been in college for awhile, now... and I'm still here, with another year left. I guess I shouldn't wish it away. It won't do me any good :-)

Today was graduation. CONGRATULATIONS SENIORS, CLASS OF 2005! No, I'm not graduating yet, but it was a poignant moment when I saw all of my friends being called. I'll be there, next year... bawling my head off :) I finally finished junior year, but I still have another year looming before me. Hooray. -_-

I don't know what colleges that I should apply to. I'll probably be doing pre-med and/or engineering... something along the likes of these. I'll be staying in the United States, so no Oxford, England or anything :D Suggestions? XD

Okay, blogthings sure are addicting. I don't know why. The cute little sites like these "tell" you things about yourself, and well, sometimes, they come shockingly close to the truth XD but othertimes, they're way off.

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Visioning You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights. You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details. An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path. You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Experimenting You're all about looking at the facts, and you could always use more of them. You see life as your lab - and you're always trying out new things, people, and ideas. The master of mix and match, you're always coming up with unique combinations. You are good at getting a group to reach consensus.

What's Your Thinking Style?

All right, I'm off to learn German.

My friend noticed that I had this cute little French phrasebook, and she bought me this cute little German phrasebook XD isn't that funny? Right now, I'm trying to perfect my Chinese/Spanish (it's so odd - on channels like CCTV international, they have Chinese people speaking almost fluent Spanish! No accent! So... I listen to them :D), trying to pick up some French (Je vais bien), and I guess I will throw German on the backburner, although their pronounciation is kind of... different, yes? Hmm, I know "guten tag" and Hello (Ha-lo) :D

Well, I think languages are fun. Hey, I listen to Italian music... *shrugs*

Mood: relieved.

Last week was rough. So many tests in a row, one after the other. Well, I managed to get out of it unscathed (except for the dark circles around my eyes, yeah). We took a practice AP exam in Chemistry that counted as a test grade. I thought I was going to get a 3 or so due to my performance on the multiple choice - my goodness, that was the hardest selection of multiple choice questions I have ever seen -_- I answered 40 right but 28 wrong (28, geez... in a real class, that would be, what, failing?) Free response was all right, but my teacher told me I got 0 points for one of them, -.- But in the end, I think my other free response questions worked out so I managed to get a "5" (the highest) overall... but barely. The AP Chemistry exam is next Tuesday, so I will do a little more studying (because I haven't really been studying lately... reading the Barron's book 20 minutes before Chemistry period, all right!), and hopefully I'll get a 5 on the real thing *prays*

SAT on Saturday -_-

Test after test after test after test.

Oh yeah, I got a "cute" haircut. It's a little longer than my shoulders now (as opposed to, say, my elbows) - long hair is pretty, but it's so hard to manage and keep out of the way (yes, I know, tie it up, but I'm not too fond of doing that very often :D)

Hmm, you can click here to see me in my prom dress. It's a fuzzy picture, but it will do.

PROM PICTURES ARE IN!!! YAY!!!

Our school had prom last Friday, and I just now got the pictures developed. Always the latecomer, I am. ;D I will upload some later (I need to get them scanned) ... Prom was lots of fun, although the prom was held "in a box," as someone kindly said (well, most rooms are "boxes" anyway) :) I had a good date, Mr. Prakash over here (doubt you'd read this, but once again, thanks lots! Haha, a new Dani phrase?) ... thank youuuuu!

Okay, this week was crazy crazy. I've been memorizing like none other for the past three days. Now, one more leap to make - I have 5 tests tomorrow. *grins* Studious Dani. Actually, I've been losing it lately. I've been having mean temper streaks and complaining to the world, "Why me?" Not like I have it that hard, right? =
I looooove Robin Hood: the soundtrack (old movie? still good, though... NOT the Men in Tights version). It's currently stuck in my head.

Three more concerts I have to play in from now until May 10!! o_O For those who don't know, I play flute/piccolo.

*sigh*

Finally, a new layout. I don't know if the colors match. I was never known for my sense of style. :)

I had this layout a long time ago, but I never used it. Probably because it was hard to match up the colors. Duurrr... well, at least it is a new layout for those who are interested. :)

Yesterday, I went to a carwash, washed some cars, ate with some friends at Chili's. I hung out with my "gal pals," Chinatown (a group of four, myself included, Chinese girls) in the Target shopping area. Whoohoo, so much stuff to buy, so little money... :) I need to get a job. I'm waiting for my paycheck from the Masters, though... $500 to spend!

I've been stressed out way too much lately. I think I do put it on myself. :( Well, technically, there is so much stuff to do, and I want to be prepared for anything and everything. Is that too much to ask?

I exercised today. There's this one kickboxing/squat move I'm fond of. I wish I had more time to exercise because that's the only reason why I don't weigh 29348739 pounds right now. Thank you, cardio and strength training...

Okay, just realized I shouldn't be sitting here. Should be hitting the books once again. D'oh. :) Love you all.

Ok, I suck.

I've been getting like, no sleep lately. Trying to "diet" but still thinking that I'm on the fat side (the mirror is oh, so cruel) ... hmm, what else. Gone psycho/insane lately, remember kids, sleep is very, very important! Otherwise, you'll start rambling like me :) ...

One more hurdle, Dani ... one more (well, more like 40 more)

I have a new layout, but I need to code it and coordinate the colors, so it'll be awhile (yeah, I know, I suck, I'm sorry). :)

Happy Easter Sunday :) Unfortunately, it's stormy over here. I've been picking up my Scriptures readings lately. There's so much that I don't know...

!!!! I still can't figure out how to install wordpress.

Am I supposed to upload the files in a specific manner? ASCII, binary, etc. I'm using WS FTP. I've uploaded all the files, and it keeps on telling me that my info for wp-config.php is wrong, yet I typed in everything Kathie gave me... any suggestions?

I will... make a new layout this Friday (hopefully! Someone needs to kick me) since spring break starts next week and I won't have time to be at the computer because I'm working (that's right, I live in the golf capital of the world) ... :)

Much love to everyone, but especially a special someone. :)

The weather is fantabulous.

And I think I just coined my own term. *grins* Oh wait, just kidding, it's an actual word :) LOL ... anyway, darn. Yeah, spring has officially arrived, methinks, and the sun is out! I hope to see green and sky blue everywhere now. I am blessed that I do not suffer from allergies, so I can romp around in the grass :) But ... seriously, if there's a nice day out, do try to enjoy the brightness and sunshine!

I love my friends. Omg. I have been so neglectful of everyone lately. I am the worst friend in the world ... living in my own world, entrenched in my books (is that the right word? or am I guilty of a malapropism again?) ... I caught up with a couple of people, and I realized how long we haven't exchanged words ... bad, bad, bad, Dani. I even wrote an essay about this awhile ago (keeping friendships/relationships alive) ... d'oh. I need to practice what I preach.

I'm going to take a nap. Falling asleep while practicing flute is not cool. Au revoir.

Okay, well, I got one of the four things done on my "Things to Do" and that's a new cam pic. It's not even a good one (the beginnings of my research paper for AP Lit), but it will do. Hey, it's an update (a much needed one) ... and I really need to get my hands on Photoshop soon. Layout ideas... coming up with a new layout idea is always the hardest part for me, and the design comes second :P kind of ironic, though. Well, both procedures take a long time for me (I'm slow). :D

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY (tomorrow) since I'm not going to be blogging tomorrow, obviously :D Recuerda llevar las prendas verdes (Spanish students, take note at my horrendous grammar?) ... ^_^

I want to be fluent in the "Latin" languages before I die. French, Spanish, Italian, etc. etc. Well, okay that's probably not possible in all 92837489 of them, but perhaps, at least one ... but if I want to be fluent, I really need to be serious in my studies, yes? Aren't polyglots cool? I respect them a lot. It takes a lot of time and dedication in order to get a language down ;P If you want to try a new language, try Mandarin Chinese... -_- It's a never-ending journey.

Listening to: DMB's "Grey Street"
Feeling: Apathetic, but leaning towards grumpy...

I cried during Beauty and the Beast.

Yes, instead of hanging out with friends on a Saturday night, I settled myself in my living room and watched the timeless Disney classic. It's been 10 years since my last viewing of the movie, and well... yeah. It's still a good, good movie. I cried (had tears) when the Beast said he had to let Belle go because he loved her and at the end when he "dies" and Belle starts to cry... wow, I didn't think I still got this emotional at Disney movies, but nothing's changed. ^_^' Gah, I'm such a social loser.

Aaaaand...
1) I need a new layout
2) I need to convert to wordpress XD
3) I need a new cam picture
4) I need to study...

Much love.

You know what? Life sucks.

Well, well. Where's the motivation? Come every Sunday, when all these tests, quizzes, assignments, and projects are around the corner, I never, ever feel like doing anything productive anymore.

That's my problem - everytime I embark on a journey (be it school, flute, learning a new language, whatever), I always become lackadaisical and lose my motivation about 2/3s of the way there, if I'm lucky. I'm a great starter-upper, but a lot of times, I don't finish. Now, I think, WOW, only one and half more year, but I'm already losing steam ... =\ and of course, there's a direct correlation of how much I study/work/practice to how well I turn out. Put in little to no work, and the results are... crap.

Okay, I need to shut up and get back to studying. ^_^

Oh, Adam - if you're Oriental (heck, Asian) ... if you even think of becoming an English professor, forget having your name on the will ... (aka disinherited) :) They just have this mentality that anything but business, law, enginnering, and med. = failure in the eyes of the Oriental society =D well, I sometimes disagree, but ... we'll see.

I visited GA Tech today. :)

Dani an engineer...if not business or a doctor, that's what I'll be. Good, but kind of sad that our choice of careers are limited to those three, if you're an Oriental.

I'll blog more later - just letting you guys know I'm still alive. :)

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

I need to read Dante. I remember one time, I had to buy a copy of it for Mike F... haha Mike, do you remember?

Lately, I've been contemplating a lot about people, relationships, what I want in life, what's important in life, religion, school, growing up, etc. I don't think I've come to a conclusion, and I probably don't expect to have some until I grow older. I mean, I'm only 17, and I'm still "learning" (theoretically) everyday with life's lessons. You know, the times when Life itself smacks in you in the face and leaves you smarting in the face for days :\ I don't really know what it takes for me to be happy. I hope I don't turn out to be some selfish b***** in my growing experience, and I definitely hope I don't turn out to be an Edna Pontellier. Maybe I need to stop dwelling in the past. Some of these doors were left open, and I just can't seem to close them. No matter how hard I try, I often find myself gravitating toward what could have been and not focusing on what is. Dangerous to be living in the past.

Peanut butter is good.

All right, it's about 9:20 pm Saturday night, and what is Dani doing?

Obviously not partying because she's online...writing a blog entry. Great, I need a life, right? :)

These past couple of days have been busy with band. Thursday night - Saturday afternoon, my hours were dedicated to flute. District honor band took place, and stroke of luck (or two), I ended up second chair (again) ... next to Sara N. (which was expected) Anyway, I say it was luck because I was originally 4th, but due to people not being in the band for certain reasons, I got moved up :D (happy) We had UGA's band director as our conductor, whoohoo... what a crazy man.

We played three pieces:

1. Noisy Wheels of Joy by Eric Whitacre (I HATE most contemporary music ... :O they make no sense!!)
2. La Procession Du Rocio (a looong two movement piece) by Joaquin Turina
3. Foshay Tower Washington Memorial March by John Phillip Sousa (I played this at Janfest last year!!)

With the exception of the first piece (who would have thought I could despise a piece so much? IT was so dumb, elementary, and just plain annoying), I liked our music, and I even got to play piccolo on the second piece :D :D :D yay, although I suck at tuning that thing ... so yea, it was an eventful three days, and to make a long story short. I saw all of my old middle school friends (tear tear tear ... I wonder how life would have turned out if I actually went to the same high school as them. That wondering is still there, lurking in the back of my mind, somehow.) and some old adult friends/teachers (my middle school teacher who still remembers his first awesome 8th grade flute section at RMS ;D ahh, don't you miss 8th grade) ... :D

Content.

Oh, I might be on my way to be a model... IF this whole thing isn't a scam (I need to do my research on this). The other day, my mom took my sister and I to this casting call with an evaluation... well, it was free, and hey, I had some time on Tuesday night. I stood in front of a camera for about 30 seconds and said my name, my age, and what I wanted to do after high school. I didn't think this would happen because my sister is a lot more of the model-type than I am, but I heard back from them today via letter, and they want my parents to come back for me next next Sunday ... wow, was I amazed (actually, I was amazed that they didn't ask for my sister - now if you don't know my sister, she's the beauty of the family). I don't know how big the chances of me going to Hollywood (or whatever ... I'm guessing the small things like those commercials on TV) are, but if I did ... I, Dani, the super nerd, model for something (even a 30 second commercial) - now who would have thought. But, this could be a scam (you know how America is), and I think I'd want to finish my education...

Valentine's Day is on Monday. <3

Hey guys and gals,

I'm stressed out at the moment ... just when I thought I could relax, noooo, more work is dumped onto my shoulders, and I can't carry it much longer. I hope I don't die early due to some stress-related disease/cancer.

Thanks for your notes, guys ... LOL, my birthday is December 13 (hence the "wait awhile"), but I appreciate the notes. :) Come back to me in 10 months.

Being in love is a totally new experience worth checking out... but I just wish that I had more time for love.

Happy Chinese New Year (tomorrow) !! Year of the Rooster!! Jing ji bao shi! Wear red.

Whoohoo, Valentine's Day on the Fourteenth. I know this is cliché, but ... how time flies. It's already the second month of the year 2005, and what have I accomplished this January? Not a lot. Oh well. There are 11 months to go ...

Eyeopener: I will ... be ... 18 ... this year ... :O :O :O (but not for a good while). When the time is near, I'll be sure to remind you guys. ;) It's so weird because I'm still thinking that I'm 15, and all of my friends are 16-18 (or so) , but now, I have painfully realized that they're hittin' the early twenties already. :\ Sooner or later, I'll be 20 myself. That year has always seem oceans away, but now, I'm already seeing the shoreline inching up (if that makes sense).

Anyway. Back to Valentine's Day. For the most part, I was apathetic about the special loving holiday, but surprisingly, this year, I actually have a reason to care about this rose-and-chocolate-celebrating holiday.

I'm cold. It's about 40 degrees outside ... and considering how ghetto my house is, it's about 40 degrees in this house, too. XD

Word from dictionary.com: perfunctory \pur-FUNGK-tuh-ree\, adjective: 1. Done merely to carry out a duty; performed mechanically or
routinely. 2. Lacking interest, care, or enthusiasm; indifferent.

These past couple of weeks have been yet another bump or two on the road of life. I feel like some mad scientist in an AP Chem. lab threw my little self into a giant centrifuge, shook me around until I was totally discombobulated, and thrown back onto the petri dish. My head still hurts, and I need to gather myself together.

In AP Lit, we are studying Kate Chopin's The Awakening. As much as we (my friend and I) dislike that selfish "whore," Edna Pontellier, I can see why she loves to delve in the dream world. Not living up to life's expectations and not facing the dreariness, often perfunctory actions of everyday life are appealing and fun, but escapes from reality are only temporarily. That's the message I need to tell myself. I need to stop wandering around (both physically and mentally) and get to work. Sorry, Edna.

The other day, I watched Napoleon Dynamite ... the movie only got big after it was released on DVD, did anyone notice that? Well, anyway. I hear mixed reviews about this ... gem of a movie. Hmm. Well, the producers purposely made it so there was no plot, and although in the scope of things, it was hilariously stupid (or stupidly hilarious), but during the actual watching of the movie, the no-plot deal annoyed me. For some reason, I didn't appreciate the movie until after I saw it. Maybe it was because I escaped from the suffocating stupidity of the movie. But that is what makes the movie so loved, right? Hmm. "GOSH!" and "YESSSS!"

Okay, take care. God bless you.

I'm so tired.

Tired, tired, tired.

I went to a math tournament today. I was placed on Varsity team 2 with... another guy and two freshmen (that's right) - poor kids, they must have been frightened! Anyway, considering how "incompetent" we were... I ended up placing 14th (woot, which is not too bad) and my team ended up 5th overall. (Maybe the other people were just as bad, but I don't know. This is varsity...) So yes, that's how my Saturday went. :) Congrats to Peter, the smart Chinese kid who's a whiz at math... :D

Grrr. I'm so fed up with life.

I have developed (or aggravated) my insanely bad habit of logging on every thirty (or five...) minutes or so and checking out my blog, other people's blogs, my Xanga, and/or other people's Xangas. I NEED TO STOP CHECKING UP ON PEOPLE EVERY 5 MINUTES. Those minutes add up... like, as of right now, I should be studying, but no, that's not happening. Am I developing ADD? It's getting harder and harder for me to sit down for extended periods of time and concentrate. That "inner free spirit" is calling out to me. I've been so restless for the past couple of weeks, and I don't know how to ameliorate it.

I want to see you again.

Exercising really does wonders for the soul, body, and mind. :D I just finished jogging and jumping around for thirty minutes. Although I look awful now, with my sweat-soaked hair, I feel ... great! :D I feel stronger already, and it's a relief that I think I burned off most, if not all, of that apple pie (my latest attachment) ... Mmm ... I want one of those machines (to be invented? If there isn't such thing already) that tell you how many calories you put in your mouth and how many calories you burn via walking/breathing/exercising, whatever. :D I haven't truly exercised in awhile, and my body loves to collect fat (it won't let go!!), so I'm trying my best to curb it. Don't get me wrong; I'm not some skinny girl who complains about how fat she is. I just want to look better, feel better, lose some stubborn fat (thighs, anyone?) and be able to fit into my jeans more. :D I have a naturally curvaceous figure, so uh, there's no way I can be a stick ;)

This week has been really slow. I'm not kidding. Usually, I say to myself, "Wow, it's already Friday?" This week? I thought it was Friday two days ago. Yech.

One month until Valentine's Day... *insert heart here* This year, I actually have something to look forward to, eh? More chocolate, hooray.

I miss hanging out with certain friends, certain people. Sometimes, I/we drift apart, but the friendship never really dies ... I wish I was better at this. Friendship should be a class in itself. Hmmm... Guess how many people would fail it?

I'm going to go shower. Love you all.

Okay, I need to be better about updating.

I tried out for All-State on Saturday. Thought everything was going beautifully... until the actual audition, of course. I don't know, do I sound conceited about this? I mean, ever since 7th grade (that's about 5 years ago...) all I've ever wanted to do was make it at least once before I leave high school. Is that so much to ask? Hmm. People say I set my expectations wayyyyy too high and I need to stop beating myself up. Well, how would you like it if you put in hours and hours of practice into whatever you were doing only to mess up at the last second... when after reflecting and giving it much thought, you realize that the outcome really could have been so much different if you had done X instead of Y ... *sigh* Okay, Dani, it's not the end of the world, I know, I know. It just PAINS me so much to see my efforts go down the drain when I know I could have done a lot better.

In other news...ever have someone you really, truly care about but ... unfortunately, you never see him/her regularly? Ahhhh.

This month has been REALLY slow in passing. I could have sworn I was in school for three weeks already, but nooo... it's only been one. I need to be more patient, but somehow, there's this freedom-craving, feral spirit that has been set loose within myself, and I don't know how to tame it. I'm waiting for something (good!!!!) to happen... but what? Ach, I think I'm just sick of school. The same ol', same ol' gets a little, well, old. Or maybe I'm just a spontaneous person.

Off to do some homework. I need to visit some blogs! ... ^_^

I'm still alive... :) Don't worry.

Happy 2005! I hope everyone had a good Christmas break and a happy New Year. I know I did... :) This has been one of the best, if not the best, holidays breaks I've ever had. I want to thank that one special person who made it so.

Sigh, back to school is never a fun time. I'm so overwhelmed once again. Too many lessons, quizzes, and tests! My eyes are always so bleary in the morning - blah.

Take care :)