Word from dictionary.com: perfunctory \pur-FUNGK-tuh-ree\, adjective: 1. Done merely to carry out a duty; performed mechanically or
routinely. 2. Lacking interest, care, or enthusiasm; indifferent.

These past couple of weeks have been yet another bump or two on the road of life. I feel like some mad scientist in an AP Chem. lab threw my little self into a giant centrifuge, shook me around until I was totally discombobulated, and thrown back onto the petri dish. My head still hurts, and I need to gather myself together.

In AP Lit, we are studying Kate Chopin's The Awakening. As much as we (my friend and I) dislike that selfish "whore," Edna Pontellier, I can see why she loves to delve in the dream world. Not living up to life's expectations and not facing the dreariness, often perfunctory actions of everyday life are appealing and fun, but escapes from reality are only temporarily. That's the message I need to tell myself. I need to stop wandering around (both physically and mentally) and get to work. Sorry, Edna.

The other day, I watched Napoleon Dynamite ... the movie only got big after it was released on DVD, did anyone notice that? Well, anyway. I hear mixed reviews about this ... gem of a movie. Hmm. Well, the producers purposely made it so there was no plot, and although in the scope of things, it was hilariously stupid (or stupidly hilarious), but during the actual watching of the movie, the no-plot deal annoyed me. For some reason, I didn't appreciate the movie until after I saw it. Maybe it was because I escaped from the suffocating stupidity of the movie. But that is what makes the movie so loved, right? Hmm. "GOSH!" and "YESSSS!"

Okay, take care. God bless you.

I'm so tired.

Tired, tired, tired.

I went to a math tournament today. I was placed on Varsity team 2 with... another guy and two freshmen (that's right) - poor kids, they must have been frightened! Anyway, considering how "incompetent" we were... I ended up placing 14th (woot, which is not too bad) and my team ended up 5th overall. (Maybe the other people were just as bad, but I don't know. This is varsity...) So yes, that's how my Saturday went. :) Congrats to Peter, the smart Chinese kid who's a whiz at math... :D

Grrr. I'm so fed up with life.

I have developed (or aggravated) my insanely bad habit of logging on every thirty (or five...) minutes or so and checking out my blog, other people's blogs, my Xanga, and/or other people's Xangas. I NEED TO STOP CHECKING UP ON PEOPLE EVERY 5 MINUTES. Those minutes add up... like, as of right now, I should be studying, but no, that's not happening. Am I developing ADD? It's getting harder and harder for me to sit down for extended periods of time and concentrate. That "inner free spirit" is calling out to me. I've been so restless for the past couple of weeks, and I don't know how to ameliorate it.

I want to see you again.

Exercising really does wonders for the soul, body, and mind. :D I just finished jogging and jumping around for thirty minutes. Although I look awful now, with my sweat-soaked hair, I feel ... great! :D I feel stronger already, and it's a relief that I think I burned off most, if not all, of that apple pie (my latest attachment) ... Mmm ... I want one of those machines (to be invented? If there isn't such thing already) that tell you how many calories you put in your mouth and how many calories you burn via walking/breathing/exercising, whatever. :D I haven't truly exercised in awhile, and my body loves to collect fat (it won't let go!!), so I'm trying my best to curb it. Don't get me wrong; I'm not some skinny girl who complains about how fat she is. I just want to look better, feel better, lose some stubborn fat (thighs, anyone?) and be able to fit into my jeans more. :D I have a naturally curvaceous figure, so uh, there's no way I can be a stick ;)

This week has been really slow. I'm not kidding. Usually, I say to myself, "Wow, it's already Friday?" This week? I thought it was Friday two days ago. Yech.

One month until Valentine's Day... *insert heart here* This year, I actually have something to look forward to, eh? More chocolate, hooray.

I miss hanging out with certain friends, certain people. Sometimes, I/we drift apart, but the friendship never really dies ... I wish I was better at this. Friendship should be a class in itself. Hmmm... Guess how many people would fail it?

I'm going to go shower. Love you all.

Okay, I need to be better about updating.

I tried out for All-State on Saturday. Thought everything was going beautifully... until the actual audition, of course. I don't know, do I sound conceited about this? I mean, ever since 7th grade (that's about 5 years ago...) all I've ever wanted to do was make it at least once before I leave high school. Is that so much to ask? Hmm. People say I set my expectations wayyyyy too high and I need to stop beating myself up. Well, how would you like it if you put in hours and hours of practice into whatever you were doing only to mess up at the last second... when after reflecting and giving it much thought, you realize that the outcome really could have been so much different if you had done X instead of Y ... *sigh* Okay, Dani, it's not the end of the world, I know, I know. It just PAINS me so much to see my efforts go down the drain when I know I could have done a lot better.

In other news...ever have someone you really, truly care about but ... unfortunately, you never see him/her regularly? Ahhhh.

This month has been REALLY slow in passing. I could have sworn I was in school for three weeks already, but nooo... it's only been one. I need to be more patient, but somehow, there's this freedom-craving, feral spirit that has been set loose within myself, and I don't know how to tame it. I'm waiting for something (good!!!!) to happen... but what? Ach, I think I'm just sick of school. The same ol', same ol' gets a little, well, old. Or maybe I'm just a spontaneous person.

Off to do some homework. I need to visit some blogs! ... ^_^

I'm still alive... :) Don't worry.

Happy 2005! I hope everyone had a good Christmas break and a happy New Year. I know I did... :) This has been one of the best, if not the best, holidays breaks I've ever had. I want to thank that one special person who made it so.

Sigh, back to school is never a fun time. I'm so overwhelmed once again. Too many lessons, quizzes, and tests! My eyes are always so bleary in the morning - blah.

Take care :)