Word from dictionary.com: perfunctory \pur-FUNGK-tuh-ree\, adjective: 1. Done merely to carry out a duty; performed mechanically or
routinely. 2. Lacking interest, care, or enthusiasm; indifferent.

These past couple of weeks have been yet another bump or two on the road of life. I feel like some mad scientist in an AP Chem. lab threw my little self into a giant centrifuge, shook me around until I was totally discombobulated, and thrown back onto the petri dish. My head still hurts, and I need to gather myself together.

In AP Lit, we are studying Kate Chopin's The Awakening. As much as we (my friend and I) dislike that selfish "whore," Edna Pontellier, I can see why she loves to delve in the dream world. Not living up to life's expectations and not facing the dreariness, often perfunctory actions of everyday life are appealing and fun, but escapes from reality are only temporarily. That's the message I need to tell myself. I need to stop wandering around (both physically and mentally) and get to work. Sorry, Edna.

The other day, I watched Napoleon Dynamite ... the movie only got big after it was released on DVD, did anyone notice that? Well, anyway. I hear mixed reviews about this ... gem of a movie. Hmm. Well, the producers purposely made it so there was no plot, and although in the scope of things, it was hilariously stupid (or stupidly hilarious), but during the actual watching of the movie, the no-plot deal annoyed me. For some reason, I didn't appreciate the movie until after I saw it. Maybe it was because I escaped from the suffocating stupidity of the movie. But that is what makes the movie so loved, right? Hmm. "GOSH!" and "YESSSS!"

Okay, take care. God bless you.

I'm so tired.

Tired, tired, tired.

I went to a math tournament today. I was placed on Varsity team 2 with... another guy and two freshmen (that's right) - poor kids, they must have been frightened! Anyway, considering how "incompetent" we were... I ended up placing 14th (woot, which is not too bad) and my team ended up 5th overall. (Maybe the other people were just as bad, but I don't know. This is varsity...) So yes, that's how my Saturday went. :) Congrats to Peter, the smart Chinese kid who's a whiz at math... :D

Grrr. I'm so fed up with life.

I have developed (or aggravated) my insanely bad habit of logging on every thirty (or five...) minutes or so and checking out my blog, other people's blogs, my Xanga, and/or other people's Xangas. I NEED TO STOP CHECKING UP ON PEOPLE EVERY 5 MINUTES. Those minutes add up... like, as of right now, I should be studying, but no, that's not happening. Am I developing ADD? It's getting harder and harder for me to sit down for extended periods of time and concentrate. That "inner free spirit" is calling out to me. I've been so restless for the past couple of weeks, and I don't know how to ameliorate it.

I want to see you again.

Exercising really does wonders for the soul, body, and mind. :D I just finished jogging and jumping around for thirty minutes. Although I look awful now, with my sweat-soaked hair, I feel ... great! :D I feel stronger already, and it's a relief that I think I burned off most, if not all, of that apple pie (my latest attachment) ... Mmm ... I want one of those machines (to be invented? If there isn't such thing already) that tell you how many calories you put in your mouth and how many calories you burn via walking/breathing/exercising, whatever. :D I haven't truly exercised in awhile, and my body loves to collect fat (it won't let go!!), so I'm trying my best to curb it. Don't get me wrong; I'm not some skinny girl who complains about how fat she is. I just want to look better, feel better, lose some stubborn fat (thighs, anyone?) and be able to fit into my jeans more. :D I have a naturally curvaceous figure, so uh, there's no way I can be a stick ;)

This week has been really slow. I'm not kidding. Usually, I say to myself, "Wow, it's already Friday?" This week? I thought it was Friday two days ago. Yech.

One month until Valentine's Day... *insert heart here* This year, I actually have something to look forward to, eh? More chocolate, hooray.

I miss hanging out with certain friends, certain people. Sometimes, I/we drift apart, but the friendship never really dies ... I wish I was better at this. Friendship should be a class in itself. Hmmm... Guess how many people would fail it?

I'm going to go shower. Love you all.

Okay, I need to be better about updating.

I tried out for All-State on Saturday. Thought everything was going beautifully... until the actual audition, of course. I don't know, do I sound conceited about this? I mean, ever since 7th grade (that's about 5 years ago...) all I've ever wanted to do was make it at least once before I leave high school. Is that so much to ask? Hmm. People say I set my expectations wayyyyy too high and I need to stop beating myself up. Well, how would you like it if you put in hours and hours of practice into whatever you were doing only to mess up at the last second... when after reflecting and giving it much thought, you realize that the outcome really could have been so much different if you had done X instead of Y ... *sigh* Okay, Dani, it's not the end of the world, I know, I know. It just PAINS me so much to see my efforts go down the drain when I know I could have done a lot better.

In other news...ever have someone you really, truly care about but ... unfortunately, you never see him/her regularly? Ahhhh.

This month has been REALLY slow in passing. I could have sworn I was in school for three weeks already, but nooo... it's only been one. I need to be more patient, but somehow, there's this freedom-craving, feral spirit that has been set loose within myself, and I don't know how to tame it. I'm waiting for something (good!!!!) to happen... but what? Ach, I think I'm just sick of school. The same ol', same ol' gets a little, well, old. Or maybe I'm just a spontaneous person.

Off to do some homework. I need to visit some blogs! ... ^_^

I'm still alive... :) Don't worry.

Happy 2005! I hope everyone had a good Christmas break and a happy New Year. I know I did... :) This has been one of the best, if not the best, holidays breaks I've ever had. I want to thank that one special person who made it so.

Sigh, back to school is never a fun time. I'm so overwhelmed once again. Too many lessons, quizzes, and tests! My eyes are always so bleary in the morning - blah.

Take care :)

It's funny how life can change so much in as little as one year. As I say goodbye to 2004 today, all these memories, good and bad, play like a slideshow in the inner crevices of my mind. I've done and said a lot of stupid things, but there are moments when I have shined... always take the time to reflect what you have done this past year (or day, or week, or even hour), and see if you've learned anything. Like me, I'm sure you have.

Happy 2005.

...I have a secret...I've grown so fond of you....

Hi everyone... :)

Ugh, today I got home, and I was so ravenous! Mmm, ice cream cake is good... so are Honey Nut Cheerios XD Gah, I'm so retarded.

Hi all! I hope everyone had a merry Christmas... and next up: Happy New Year 2005 =)

I spent the past week in Orlando, FL. Tiff (my cool sister) and I rode all these cool roller coasters at Universal... I think I must have screamed enough to last a lifetime (and felt my stomach flip about 10x) ... what an experience! We rode Dueling Dragons, this ride where your feet dangle and you go all over the place, three times... and of course, we braved the Hulk ride. "AHHHHH I'M SCARED." We pigged out on cinnamon churros (yum! but expensive), and we discovered the wonders of the restaurant known as Steak and Shake (yum...I had a huge white chocolate milkshake) ... yes, holidays are the time for good eating :) I hope I didn't gain any weight ._. I don't need it...

I got a red sweater, a red shirt from Tommy Hilfiger, a Disney shirt, and a blue shirt (yes, my yearly purchase of clothing, lol... okay, fine, quarterly) :)

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem
I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love
Think about it every timeI think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it
How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love
-Counting Crows "Accidentally in Love"

I went to McDonald's with my friend Zee today. Although we ate, we still had this strange craving for more food... so guess what, we purchased more food! Although if you look at the big picture, I didn't have THAT MUCH, but when I got home, I felt so sick... so I had to take a walk to walk off all that loving McDonald's food. I spent an hour contemplating the mysteries of life while my face became wizened and dry due to the cold. It doesn't feel like Christmas yet!

And I don't feel 17 yet.

(My birthday was Monday.)

Well, I'm trying to convert the pages on my site to PHP (because the popups get a little annoying, I think), so excuse the dust and shambles of my pages. But not like anyone comes here, right? ;D

However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

-311 "Love Song"

Today, I went to try out for District Band, whoohoo. Unlike the past four years, I went out of the judge room rather confidently. I do believe that out of the last four years, I've stormed out of the room crying and/or complaining about what a horrible flute player I am. The two male judges (that's a first!) were very nice and complimentary of me albeit my cold (achoo!) and my random "blah" notes. Do re mi fa so la si *BLAH* :) I hope I got a decent chair...

We also toured around the Walmart, the place where life centers around in the city I went to audition. That's weird how if a Walmart sits in the middle of nowhere, a town builds around it! A rather scary monopoly... I wonder if Toys R Us and all those retail stores out there will eventually go bankrupt due to Walmart's low prices and its variety of merchandise. Yeesh. I'm not one of those people who can go to Walmart at 3AM for no reason... at least, I don't think. I'm not allowed to be outside of the house past 12AM anyway (city curfew) :)

I worked on Christmas presents and cards. Giving out stuff is so hard, especially with lack of time/money. I took precious time out of studying ... yes, shut up, I do need to study for stuff. I'm really worried about this AP Chem test on Monday because these last couple of days have been rather hazy for me. I've been so sleepy and annoyed with school! Haven't you?

Aww, I'm always missing someone...

Quick entry before I have to depart to the wonderful, exuberant world of studying. I'm a permanent denizen of that world now.

Saturday, I took the SAT - I don't think I did that well, so please don't inquire of my score when the scores come out December 15th... But to go to more happier subjects, I went to Shivani's sweet 16th birthday that evening. She invited the whole brown town (hehe) and of course, us Chinese people (in other words, everyone). Chinatown was reunited :) I miss Melissa so much (our fellow member who turned "traitor" but against her will) ... it was nice hanging out with close friends and getting to know some certain people better. Of course, the alternative to a hot, stuffy house with way too many people is hanging out in the bitter cold!

It's amazing what a dearth of nice, considerate people we have in this world. I recently discovered one of these endangered peoples on Saturday (or merely reinforced my idea of him, anyway). WOW, Dina and I are left impressed by the amazing decency of this one guy. He's the guy that opens doors, that offers his seat when there's nowhere else to sit, that offers the jacket, that follows us in the face of danger, and so on and so forth...not just in one instance, but repeatedly, too! I'm left impressed and with my eyebrow raised in a bemused manner.

I'm trying to read A Beautiful Mind by Sylvia Nasar again. I read it awhile back, but I don't have a great recollection of the book. A mesmerizing movie though. I think I cried when I watched it about 2-3 years ago?

I'm sitting here studying vocabulary now... great, great. Gotta love school. I like how if one goes to school until s/he is about 30 years old (graduate school, etc), that's about 1/3 of their life spent in education. The sacrifices we make to have a good life...I wonder if I can stick with school that long when even now, I'm so sick of it... All right, Danielle, hang in there.

IT'S THE FIRST OF DECEMBER! 12/01/04 and also, my birthday is coming up soon! Can you believe it? This year has gone by rather quickly, but with the exception of last month, I can't really say it was my best year... :( I've had better. What a tumultuous, crazy ride life is. Oh well, like the phrase goes, there's always next year, har har... 2005! I can't wait until 2006.

I love McDonald's yogurt parfaits. :)

And Publix = OVERPRICED >:O I bought three tomatoes for $5.03 today... I was wondering why my overall cost for all of my goods was so expensive. Geez.

I really don't know what to write in here. What I'm feeling right now is rather ineffable - I'm not sure if I'm comfortable writing about it just yet...mere words won't do my feelings justice.

New layout, everyone! Winter 04-05 (yes, the lazy way out of not doing a new layout every month) featuring cute little penguins - I didn't know they were inclined to have couples - and "More Than Words" by Extreme. I love that song, and yes, I am a fan of oldies :)

I went to a birthday/dinner party yesterday. Apparently, everyone loved my complexion because these adults kept on pointing at my face and asking my dad how my face got to be so glowing. I know the reason: my complexion used to be SO bad - oily, zitty, etc. Now that I've gotten the zit problem tamed and am now liberally putting on facial lotion, my complexion is definitely more appealing to the eye... now I don't have to grimace as much when I look in the mirror. :/

I am going to take the SAT I on December 4th (in a week!) and I'm going to do so horribly... I haven't "prepped" for it at all, a.k.a. review some math concepts and maybe go over some vocabulary. Grrr. I don't know what's going on in my life anymore - I need to get myself straightened out ASAP, for December is a busy, busy month.

Lyric O' the Moment: So I'm a little left of center / I'm a little out of tune / Some say I'm paranormal / So I just bend their spoon / Who wants to be ordinary / In a crazy, mixed-up world / I don't care what they're sayin' / As long as I'm your girl -"You Get Me" by Michelle Branch

Hi :) This past weekend was awesome - I love going on debate trips just for the fun of it. I went to judge JV (along with Joy), and it was quite an experience. Since most people who read this probably aren't debaters, I'm not going to delve in the frustration of the rounds because nobody cares... and the people that would have cared, I already blabbed to them about it ^_^' It just sucks when you judge people that you know are better than you - but judges have so much power, it's scary.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I laughed. So. Much. It was utterly ridiculous. The littlest things set me off, and once I start, it's like Pringles: the fun doesn't stop. Thanks to Zach, Nakul, and Brian L. for giving me one heck of a fun time (yes, I equivalate laughing a lot = fun) ... And the thing is, if I tried to tell you what made me laugh so hard, I would be at a loss. Must have been one of those "YOU HAD TO BE THERE!" moments. I tend to get those a lot. It was not necessarily a lot of jokes (good and bad) being spread around although there were some; it was just the humor of people and events, I suppose.

Hmm, well, I guess I never laugh that much at school anymore because of a combination of things:

• the people aren't that funny
• the people don't get me
• I don't get the people
• I'm always tired
• School is a depressing environment.

If you want more details about my trip, I guess you can click to my Xanga, although I do write about friends a lot.

Ooh, I think my dog got bit by a squirrel :( I'm sad, she always looks so down/depressed whenever nobody's tending to her attention needs... everything and everybody needs a little lovin' and carin'.

I put up a new cam picture after like, more than a month. I need to be better about this.

THANKSGIVING BREAK this Wednesday. I'm interested in seeing how my Thanksgiving 04 turns out. =) I need to catch up on many hours of lost sleep, get in touch with some people, shop for Christmas gifts, practice flute for district/all-state, study study study, and do a new layout (winter? who knows) ... this had better be good.

Musical Moment: I am hanging on every word you say / And even if you don't want to speak tonight / That's alright, alright with me / 'Cause I want nothing more than to sit / Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing / Is where I want to be -"Breathing" by Lifehouse

Aww, I've been in a slump lately. It may be associated with a monthly thing, it may not. Regardless, I've been moping and groaning and complaining... I'm sure all of my good friends think I'm annoying now. Please, please forgive me ^_^ ... you people mean the world to me :)

I need to start utilizing my cell phone. I have 2000 rollover minutes left. Plus, I rarely call people. There are certain people that I am just dying to call, but sometimes, it's really hard to get the courage to press. the. stupid. call. button. I'm the most silly person on earth...and IM has lost almost all of its personal value, so on the personal level scale...

Face to face > Phone > Letter > E-mail > IM

Or something like that. Feel free to alter the order.

I hate missing school. I am always swamped with makeup work/tests/whatever. Someone shoot me. No, I'm kidding, I embrace life. But seriously, everyday, I'm not happy. Even if there's not a lot of work to do, I'm still not YAYY HAPPY GO LUCKY WHOO! I need to rant to someone. I need to cry. I need someone to hold me. I need to hold someone. I need to write all of my thoughts down properly instead of things like "Today I went to the grocery store..." or something insignificant like this. I need to stop complaining, actually... ^_^

I have a question for you: So when is it love, really? I've been struggling to answer this daunting question for about three years now. Still haven't found a definite answer. Come Valentine's Day, I hope to have an answer...(just naming a holiday in the distant future).

Okay, enough of this utter nonsense. Off to study!

Hey all. Sorry for the lack of updates... I usually write utter randomness in my Xanga, so if you want to keep up with me, should this blog prove inadequate, you can visit my Xanga here: click me! Generally, I keep well-thought-out entries on this blog here and the randomness on the Xanga... you know, the "I'm bored/hungry/tired" type entries. :)

So today was awfully cold... right now, I'm standing with my tshirt, pajama pants, AND my really super long (and obese) scarf from Forever 21. It is quiet warm, except I am in need of gloves. My hands are so dry and chapped from the coldness... -_- More lotion-slathering time, eh? I hate putting on lotion... it gets everywhere, it takes awhile to soak in the skin, and I always forget to put on lotion.

Tonight was the annual Veteran's Day concert... a salute to all of our veterans. Mr. Barney spoke, yay, that was nice... I'm so used to hearing him speak in class, but in an environment like at the church with all these veterans, it felt different... anyway, he's a really nice guy. I played the Stars and Stripe piccolo part with Janki and Christina... that went pretty well, considering I haven't practiced this but four times since last year... I still remember how to play all of that piece!!! And most of the other pieces by memory since we played them so many times last year. You know, if I don't start using earplugs soon, I'm going to be deaf by 25... those piccolos are shrill!

Anyway, off to conquer so more unfinished homework. For those that I usually visit: sorry my visits have been so sporadic/few =( I hate my life right now, well, the workload, anyway... or maybe I just work too hard.

Just finished: The Sterkarm Handshake by Susan Price (nice!)
Currently reading: Henry and Clara by Thomas Mallon.

I'm so sleepy...

Earlier, I was doing homework on my bed (yes, I know, not a smart move) ... and I decided to lay my head down for just a little bit when... I woke up 5 hours later.

... Ok, not really, but it's happened before. Thank goodness it wasn't today :) I have a Trig test tomorrow.

94 ON INCLASS ESSAY! THANK GOODNESS...after the last one, I could have sworn I got another mid-B. It has gotten to the point where I take any A, no matter how high or low, in AP Lit... see, I used to hate grades like 91, but now, I treat it like it's a 99 or something... whoohoo. School is kicking my butt (physically - my health is so bad right now... I've gotten two-three illnesses or so this past month). Plus, more "bad" grades are filtering in this year... for example, I've gotten more Cs than I have ever gotten in my schooling career up to this point. Minor grades, but still... when a big red 70 is smack dab in the middle of your paper, it hurts.

So Bush won four more years... I have mixed feelings about this, and I'm sure the rest of America does, too. I hope that during the next four years, he takes steps to bring the country together because looking at the election, we're so deeply split. Kerry's right - we need unity. Hello, the United States of America... I have a lot of friends that are leaning more Democratic, and all this "Bush sucks" talk makes me wonder. Whether you hate him or not, we're stuck with him for another four years. Something interesting I learned in U.S. History - Look at Abraham Lincoln. whom we consider a great president today... he was not popular with the people--he didn't even have friends in the White House-- for the most part, until the turning points of the Civil War. That's weird - not knowing the politics of the Civil War, I always thought that everyone loved Lincoln, but no, that wasn't true. Yet look how he is portrayed now. o_O I wonder how Bush will go down in history. How will I explain him to my kids? Hopefully not using all the derogatory statements that my friends used. He has his good points and his bad points, just like you and me.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" This question, not a common question to begin with, was asked to me not once, but twice yesterday, by two different people. No, they weren't guys who were looking for a girl, and no, the females who asked me weren't lesbian/bi (cough, Ellen Y)... one of my good friends and one of my teachers I had last year were the ones who asked me. I just found that so weird that such a question of great personal weight would be brought up twice in one single day. My personal life is pretty...interesting. Well. I have some reasons why I don't have a boyfriend right now, but sometimes, that inner girl breaks loose from its cage and takes over my emotions and thoughts. I just wish I won't do or say something stupid like I did last time and regret it for years to come. Hey, but you know what they say: you learn by doing ... (like, committing mistakes?) -_-

Dust to Dust ... what the?

Today, I took a day off from school to see Dr. Lin... I've been having problems with my lower back (my parents suspected kidney problems :/), and the last trip to the doctor didn't cure it all the way, so this morning, I went yet again... Dr. Lin is a really nice man :) After doing the usual diagnosis, I even got some acupuncture in ^_^ This was my first time ever, and I always imagined tons of scary pins and needles... but in reality, it wasn't that bad. Just some points of pressure and some pricklyness. I believe getting shots are worse :P I don't know if the acupuncture helped, though... I don't know the science behind it, but hey, if it's been used for thousands of years...

I just read Danielle Steel's book The Promise because Betsy lent it to me... :) I wrote a review on it in Amazon, if you care to read... not one of my better reviews because I'm kind of sick and tired, but it will do, hopefully. One thing, though... I really hope all of her books aren't like that... somewhat bland, flat, predictable... hopefully not to the predicability of Nicholas Sparks =\ Now wouldn't that be a shame...

Well, this week has been HOMECOMING WEEK, and of course, all the days have something funky to it... Tuesday, I dressed up as twins with Ning-Fei and Dina (JAPANESE SCHOOL GIRL OUTFITS + HAIR ...), Thursday, I dressed like a tomboy with my dad's shirt and my cap... whoohoo, "sexy!" I got lots of compliments, which was nice... EDIT: HERE ARE SOME PICTURES... Click on them to view the full size...





Twin Day. I dressed up like Ning-Fei and Dina. We looked like Japanese school girls...

Katherine and me as guys... :D

Why do I have such a bad phobia of phones? Whenever I am seized by the urge to call ________, I shrink away from fear and I never end up dialing _________, letting what could possibly be a golden opportunity of friendship to pass yet again. Even with girl friends, I can't bring myself to call... what's wrong with me? Am I just not concise with speaking or communicating my thoughts? Perhaps it's because I'm too afraid something will slip out that shouldn't... Oftentimes, I ramble, and sometimes, those thoughts aren't what I want people to hear, no matter how close I am with them.

Sorry so short, this entry is mainly just to let you faithful know that I'm still alive. :)

guess what... my wireless keyboard has died... i'm assuming it's the batteries, so i'm using my regular keyboard on the laptop... and it sucks. i don't have the shift key, enter, or backspace to use... so if i mess up, please forgive me. i have to manually right click and do delete or make it a space... so it's really annoying and aggravating. i'll have to fix my keyboard later... oh wait, since i don't have the enter key, i can't make paragraphs nor use html... oops... well, anyway, i'm just letting you know about my predicament. i'll blog a proper entry later. insert smiley face here...