I really don't know what to write in here. What I'm feeling right now is rather ineffable - I'm not sure if I'm comfortable writing about it just yet...mere words won't do my feelings justice.

New layout, everyone! Winter 04-05 (yes, the lazy way out of not doing a new layout every month) featuring cute little penguins - I didn't know they were inclined to have couples - and "More Than Words" by Extreme. I love that song, and yes, I am a fan of oldies :)

I went to a birthday/dinner party yesterday. Apparently, everyone loved my complexion because these adults kept on pointing at my face and asking my dad how my face got to be so glowing. I know the reason: my complexion used to be SO bad - oily, zitty, etc. Now that I've gotten the zit problem tamed and am now liberally putting on facial lotion, my complexion is definitely more appealing to the eye... now I don't have to grimace as much when I look in the mirror. :/

I am going to take the SAT I on December 4th (in a week!) and I'm going to do so horribly... I haven't "prepped" for it at all, a.k.a. review some math concepts and maybe go over some vocabulary. Grrr. I don't know what's going on in my life anymore - I need to get myself straightened out ASAP, for December is a busy, busy month.

Lyric O' the Moment: So I'm a little left of center / I'm a little out of tune / Some say I'm paranormal / So I just bend their spoon / Who wants to be ordinary / In a crazy, mixed-up world / I don't care what they're sayin' / As long as I'm your girl -"You Get Me" by Michelle Branch

Hi :) This past weekend was awesome - I love going on debate trips just for the fun of it. I went to judge JV (along with Joy), and it was quite an experience. Since most people who read this probably aren't debaters, I'm not going to delve in the frustration of the rounds because nobody cares... and the people that would have cared, I already blabbed to them about it ^_^' It just sucks when you judge people that you know are better than you - but judges have so much power, it's scary.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I laughed. So. Much. It was utterly ridiculous. The littlest things set me off, and once I start, it's like Pringles: the fun doesn't stop. Thanks to Zach, Nakul, and Brian L. for giving me one heck of a fun time (yes, I equivalate laughing a lot = fun) ... And the thing is, if I tried to tell you what made me laugh so hard, I would be at a loss. Must have been one of those "YOU HAD TO BE THERE!" moments. I tend to get those a lot. It was not necessarily a lot of jokes (good and bad) being spread around although there were some; it was just the humor of people and events, I suppose.

Hmm, well, I guess I never laugh that much at school anymore because of a combination of things:

• the people aren't that funny
• the people don't get me
• I don't get the people
• I'm always tired
• School is a depressing environment.

If you want more details about my trip, I guess you can click to my Xanga, although I do write about friends a lot.

Ooh, I think my dog got bit by a squirrel :( I'm sad, she always looks so down/depressed whenever nobody's tending to her attention needs... everything and everybody needs a little lovin' and carin'.

I put up a new cam picture after like, more than a month. I need to be better about this.

THANKSGIVING BREAK this Wednesday. I'm interested in seeing how my Thanksgiving 04 turns out. =) I need to catch up on many hours of lost sleep, get in touch with some people, shop for Christmas gifts, practice flute for district/all-state, study study study, and do a new layout (winter? who knows) ... this had better be good.

Musical Moment: I am hanging on every word you say / And even if you don't want to speak tonight / That's alright, alright with me / 'Cause I want nothing more than to sit / Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing / Is where I want to be -"Breathing" by Lifehouse

Aww, I've been in a slump lately. It may be associated with a monthly thing, it may not. Regardless, I've been moping and groaning and complaining... I'm sure all of my good friends think I'm annoying now. Please, please forgive me ^_^ ... you people mean the world to me :)

I need to start utilizing my cell phone. I have 2000 rollover minutes left. Plus, I rarely call people. There are certain people that I am just dying to call, but sometimes, it's really hard to get the courage to press. the. stupid. call. button. I'm the most silly person on earth...and IM has lost almost all of its personal value, so on the personal level scale...

Face to face > Phone > Letter > E-mail > IM

Or something like that. Feel free to alter the order.

I hate missing school. I am always swamped with makeup work/tests/whatever. Someone shoot me. No, I'm kidding, I embrace life. But seriously, everyday, I'm not happy. Even if there's not a lot of work to do, I'm still not YAYY HAPPY GO LUCKY WHOO! I need to rant to someone. I need to cry. I need someone to hold me. I need to hold someone. I need to write all of my thoughts down properly instead of things like "Today I went to the grocery store..." or something insignificant like this. I need to stop complaining, actually... ^_^

I have a question for you: So when is it love, really? I've been struggling to answer this daunting question for about three years now. Still haven't found a definite answer. Come Valentine's Day, I hope to have an answer...(just naming a holiday in the distant future).

Okay, enough of this utter nonsense. Off to study!

Hey all. Sorry for the lack of updates... I usually write utter randomness in my Xanga, so if you want to keep up with me, should this blog prove inadequate, you can visit my Xanga here: click me! Generally, I keep well-thought-out entries on this blog here and the randomness on the Xanga... you know, the "I'm bored/hungry/tired" type entries. :)

So today was awfully cold... right now, I'm standing with my tshirt, pajama pants, AND my really super long (and obese) scarf from Forever 21. It is quiet warm, except I am in need of gloves. My hands are so dry and chapped from the coldness... -_- More lotion-slathering time, eh? I hate putting on lotion... it gets everywhere, it takes awhile to soak in the skin, and I always forget to put on lotion.

Tonight was the annual Veteran's Day concert... a salute to all of our veterans. Mr. Barney spoke, yay, that was nice... I'm so used to hearing him speak in class, but in an environment like at the church with all these veterans, it felt different... anyway, he's a really nice guy. I played the Stars and Stripe piccolo part with Janki and Christina... that went pretty well, considering I haven't practiced this but four times since last year... I still remember how to play all of that piece!!! And most of the other pieces by memory since we played them so many times last year. You know, if I don't start using earplugs soon, I'm going to be deaf by 25... those piccolos are shrill!

Anyway, off to conquer so more unfinished homework. For those that I usually visit: sorry my visits have been so sporadic/few =( I hate my life right now, well, the workload, anyway... or maybe I just work too hard.

Just finished: The Sterkarm Handshake by Susan Price (nice!)
Currently reading: Henry and Clara by Thomas Mallon.

I'm so sleepy...

Earlier, I was doing homework on my bed (yes, I know, not a smart move) ... and I decided to lay my head down for just a little bit when... I woke up 5 hours later.

... Ok, not really, but it's happened before. Thank goodness it wasn't today :) I have a Trig test tomorrow.

94 ON INCLASS ESSAY! THANK GOODNESS...after the last one, I could have sworn I got another mid-B. It has gotten to the point where I take any A, no matter how high or low, in AP Lit... see, I used to hate grades like 91, but now, I treat it like it's a 99 or something... whoohoo. School is kicking my butt (physically - my health is so bad right now... I've gotten two-three illnesses or so this past month). Plus, more "bad" grades are filtering in this year... for example, I've gotten more Cs than I have ever gotten in my schooling career up to this point. Minor grades, but still... when a big red 70 is smack dab in the middle of your paper, it hurts.

So Bush won four more years... I have mixed feelings about this, and I'm sure the rest of America does, too. I hope that during the next four years, he takes steps to bring the country together because looking at the election, we're so deeply split. Kerry's right - we need unity. Hello, the United States of America... I have a lot of friends that are leaning more Democratic, and all this "Bush sucks" talk makes me wonder. Whether you hate him or not, we're stuck with him for another four years. Something interesting I learned in U.S. History - Look at Abraham Lincoln. whom we consider a great president today... he was not popular with the people--he didn't even have friends in the White House-- for the most part, until the turning points of the Civil War. That's weird - not knowing the politics of the Civil War, I always thought that everyone loved Lincoln, but no, that wasn't true. Yet look how he is portrayed now. o_O I wonder how Bush will go down in history. How will I explain him to my kids? Hopefully not using all the derogatory statements that my friends used. He has his good points and his bad points, just like you and me.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" This question, not a common question to begin with, was asked to me not once, but twice yesterday, by two different people. No, they weren't guys who were looking for a girl, and no, the females who asked me weren't lesbian/bi (cough, Ellen Y)... one of my good friends and one of my teachers I had last year were the ones who asked me. I just found that so weird that such a question of great personal weight would be brought up twice in one single day. My personal life is pretty...interesting. Well. I have some reasons why I don't have a boyfriend right now, but sometimes, that inner girl breaks loose from its cage and takes over my emotions and thoughts. I just wish I won't do or say something stupid like I did last time and regret it for years to come. Hey, but you know what they say: you learn by doing ... (like, committing mistakes?) -_-

Dust to Dust ... what the?

Today, I took a day off from school to see Dr. Lin... I've been having problems with my lower back (my parents suspected kidney problems :/), and the last trip to the doctor didn't cure it all the way, so this morning, I went yet again... Dr. Lin is a really nice man :) After doing the usual diagnosis, I even got some acupuncture in ^_^ This was my first time ever, and I always imagined tons of scary pins and needles... but in reality, it wasn't that bad. Just some points of pressure and some pricklyness. I believe getting shots are worse :P I don't know if the acupuncture helped, though... I don't know the science behind it, but hey, if it's been used for thousands of years...

I just read Danielle Steel's book The Promise because Betsy lent it to me... :) I wrote a review on it in Amazon, if you care to read... not one of my better reviews because I'm kind of sick and tired, but it will do, hopefully. One thing, though... I really hope all of her books aren't like that... somewhat bland, flat, predictable... hopefully not to the predicability of Nicholas Sparks =\ Now wouldn't that be a shame...

Well, this week has been HOMECOMING WEEK, and of course, all the days have something funky to it... Tuesday, I dressed up as twins with Ning-Fei and Dina (JAPANESE SCHOOL GIRL OUTFITS + HAIR ...), Thursday, I dressed like a tomboy with my dad's shirt and my cap... whoohoo, "sexy!" I got lots of compliments, which was nice... EDIT: HERE ARE SOME PICTURES... Click on them to view the full size...





Twin Day. I dressed up like Ning-Fei and Dina. We looked like Japanese school girls...

Katherine and me as guys... :D

Why do I have such a bad phobia of phones? Whenever I am seized by the urge to call ________, I shrink away from fear and I never end up dialing _________, letting what could possibly be a golden opportunity of friendship to pass yet again. Even with girl friends, I can't bring myself to call... what's wrong with me? Am I just not concise with speaking or communicating my thoughts? Perhaps it's because I'm too afraid something will slip out that shouldn't... Oftentimes, I ramble, and sometimes, those thoughts aren't what I want people to hear, no matter how close I am with them.

Sorry so short, this entry is mainly just to let you faithful know that I'm still alive. :)

guess what... my wireless keyboard has died... i'm assuming it's the batteries, so i'm using my regular keyboard on the laptop... and it sucks. i don't have the shift key, enter, or backspace to use... so if i mess up, please forgive me. i have to manually right click and do delete or make it a space... so it's really annoying and aggravating. i'll have to fix my keyboard later... oh wait, since i don't have the enter key, i can't make paragraphs nor use html... oops... well, anyway, i'm just letting you know about my predicament. i'll blog a proper entry later. insert smiley face here...

I woke up at 2p.m. today. Yeah, I'm not sleeping at 2am anymore just for the heck of it :) I was engaged in interesting IM conversations last night, and unfortunately, that preceded sleep (right Kevin? Ahaha) ... I suppose it was one of those once-every-now-and-then moments.

Anyway, this past week, I've been spending my days in Atlanta (whooohooo) ... all we did was shop, haha. We whizzed through three malls (THREE!), and that was probably equivalent to 10+ miles of walking, hahaha... I bought some gifts, pants from Gap ($10), and a shirt from Aero ($6) ... yeah, I'm cheap. I usually don't buy clothing over $10 ... I can show you how to get a wardrobe for less than $50, I'm sure ;)

As I toured though all the stores (there's many to choose from in Atlanta), a lot of the stores had their Christmas display already up. Geez, October isn't even over yet... and did we forget about Thanksgiving? I guess on the whole, Christmas outweighs a lot of holidays... well, I like Christmas, but what a way to inundate (hey I like that word) the shelves with red, green, and white... :) They're just after our pocketbooks, that's all. But I still can't wait for Christmas because then this emotionally aggravating ride of a first semester junior year will be OVER, and we'll have time to warm up by the fire, spending quality time with friends and family. :)

I was talking with my good friend Mike last night, and of course, we were reflecting over the past (I seem to do that a lot with him) ... I cannot believe how much stuff happens in one year because I didn't realize that until I was talking with him. My freshman prom? That was a little over a year ago. Merely a year...(May 2003) I feel like freshman year was aeons and aeons ago :\ but it wasn't. Also in May 2003, the current sophomores in college graduated from high school...what, I feel like they've been gone for years as well, not merely a little over a year. =\ I was flipping through my photo albums and the differences between this time last year and now are... great... Time plays a very cruel joke on us.

Fake 9/11 Silver Coins ...

This past week has been rather interesting... A brief outline of what has happened in Dani's life, for those of you that care (then again, if you didn't care, you wouldn't be here, right? :D)

Saturday - Dina and her family came over, and we hung out at my house--bonding time!--, and around 4pm or so Howard came down from Duke University to visit our wonderful city of ________ (cough cough) ... :D x 1000 I was pretty elated because I haven't seen him in over a year. After more hanging out at my house, Howard, Tiffany (my sister), and I crashed at Brian's house (who was home for the weekend as well). The boys and I watched part of the UGA vs. Tennesee game (UGA lost...).

For dinner, we ate out at Ruby Tuesday ... first time I've been to the Ruby Tuesday (and I've lived here for how long?), and of course I ate chicken >=) while Howard and I discussed about the wonderful thing known as our lives. What a roller coaster. After dinner, at the earnest pleading from my sister, we headed over to Wal-Mart :) Why, I'm not really sure. Howard and I ended up buying a 750 jigsaw puzzle, and its pieces still lay scattered on my bedroom floor. It is a really pretty puzzle called "Seaside Leap" with dolphins, a magnificent horizon, and of course, the wonderful creatures of the deep. I have about 30% completion, and at this rate, hopefully I'll finish this by Christmas... gracias, Howard.

Sunday - Chinese school... started a three day spree of eating pizza (darn you, Papa John's) ... tried to study like crazy but whatever. Ended up talking on the phone most of the time...

Monday - This is sad, I'm failing to remember what happened to me two days ago... I was a little peevish on Monday, don't know why "grrrr" -_- When I'm in a bad mood (which is often), it's not a pretty sight :D flute lessons... I have decided that I NEED TO PRACTICE... more than just 1 day a week -_- Howard came over and visited me while I was feverishly studying for tests... yay... :)

Tuesday - ... seriously, what happened yesterday? My memory is that bad.... I do remember doing yoga though...oh yes, and report cards :)

Wednesday - TODAY! ... Mrs. H basically told me, in a somewhat subtle way, that I had failed an AP practice... My God, I stink at AP Practices... also, I took the PSAT, and I think I missed some really silly questions... probably I rushed through them. Sigh. School sucks.

Okay, yeah, I'm not doing this again because this proves that my short-term memory is not so hot :) I barely remember what happened this morning. Isn't that sad? Well, just wanted to let you know that I'm still alive... and I will write a better entry later. :)

I'm currently reading Mine Eyes Have Seen by Ann Rinaldi (a really good historical fiction writer) ... and when I brought it to class the other day, my friend Jane said, "Oooh, new book, let me see..." and she and Ann Marie took a glance at the cover and simultaneously bursted out into the Battle Hymn of the Republic song... "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord..." while of course everyone stared at them. IT WAS SO CUTE "like a musical!" hahaha... gosh, I love my friends.

Hmm, what else happened this week (it is, after all, Wednesday)... I got a 100 on an AP Chem test (yes!), the very one that I was on the verge of tears because I didn't understand how to do a lot of the problems the night before the test... got an 87 on a really easy Spanish test (what the heck... I bet that just killed my average), and totally failed an in-class essay today about the oh-so-wonderful, extraordinary, amazing Billy Budd ... no seriously, there is absolutely no sarcasm here, none at all.... -_-

For those that I usually visit (you know who you are), I will pay you a visit very soon, I'm so sorry for not givin' some loving to you wonderful people :( ... hopefully when this crazy week is over, I'll stop by your wonderful blogs.

I can't believe I've been through 9 weeks of hell (sorry, no other word to describe) already... only three more of these 9-weeks periods left... guess who's ready for Christmas, actually? ^.~ Fall's pretty, and there are some good perks about it (really nice weather, etc.) but it's also hard/long/boring schoolwise. Seeing some Christmas merchandise already on sale (!!!!!!!!! Halloween hasn't even passed yet), I'm already in the mood for some fireside warming, some lovin' (hahaha yeah right, not moi!), exchanging warm-hearted gifts, hitting the mountains (or if you're like my family, the beach in the winter XD...), and consuming unhealthy amounts of sugar-enhanced milk chocolate. Sigh... how blissful.

It's late...

I should be in bed...

The one day when I had little to no homework, I still stay up around 11pm.... ^_^ I think I've gotten so accustomed to sleeping at this (unhealthy) time that any other time would throw off my sleep schedule. Not good! No wonder I sleep until 1pm on weekends... :)

Quick post, sorry. Off to bed.

I spend my evenings studying, studying, and studying, and of course, last night I found myself sleeping at 12:30a.m.... cramming for an AP Chem. test. Of course, my fellow friends were online as well (why do people stay online so late? sigh... we all need like, 8 hours of sleep) See, if I didn't do all those practice problems this past weekend, I would have failed the test today like none other... this goes to show that Practice makes perfect.......but I wish I had more time to, say, practice my flute ^_^ At this rate, I'm never going to make All-State Band...

Well, off to do debate work. How exciting! See, our pitiful class is directly after one of the best classes to breeze through LHS... we pale in comparison to the brilliant people of the class of 2005 :P so there's some pressure on us (06!) to do just as well... but I'm not super geniuses like they are. :)

Gosh, my emotional roller coaster ride (har! trig project...) has been hitting some bumps and some really steep hills... -_- Sigh, I think my hormonal levels must be imbalanced and I need some medication. Either that, or my emotions are trying to tell me that something's up. See, on my trig project, I was going to name my roller coaster ride "Only to Fall Again," but I changed it...

This morning, I woke up scared for my life...I woke up breathing heavily and gladly taking my surroundings in--yes, I'm still alive, and yes, I'm still in the comforts of my own room. I dreamt about my friend and me, and she and I, for some reason, devised a plot... and I remember seeing her with a revolver/gun and shooting and killing these people, people that were our friends (in band?), one by one, until she suddenly stopped at this one person, and she fled. I remember seeing the bodies crumple... I had a revolver too, so I think I dropped it and ran... where I ran and hid, I don't remember. I just remember feeling really scared for my life, and how eventually people would know it was my friend (let's call her Katie) who commited those heinous acts, and I was somehow tied in with her... I think I was trying to hide the evidence (the gun) and also praying that nobody would know that I knew about the plot, and that I actually had a gun in my possession... I was debating on whether I should tell someone of higher authority (teacher?) that I knew it was her and I was involved, too, although I didn't technically do anything...it was terrifying being in that position, and sadly, I have felt this way before. I'm sure everyone's been in that position, although perhaps not as drastic...

I went shopping this weekend. Dillard's was cleaning out its summer stuff... see, the best time to shop is when it's the transition of seasons because stores throw out their stuff at cheap prices... good for you, the shopper. :) I bought this really pretty pink, flowery dress for only $4 (regular price must have been $30 or so)... and some other articles of clothing for cheap prices. I'm content, I guess. Well, I'm not the type of person to be thrilled or ecstatic about buying clothes, unlike some people.

Yeah, to try to boost my mood, I exercised today for about 30 minutes... my mood was temporarily boosted, but now, I'm all depressed/tired/lazy/mmmmphhh again. :( How does one cheer oneself up? I don't think I'll be truly happy until Christmas (well, December)... in two months. I don't even really know why I'm so depressed/down all the time because there's really no good reason. This is weird because last year, fall 2003, my journal entries tell me that I was a happy-go-lucky sophomore... just having the time of my life despite my ups and downs. This year, I feel like I've been sapped of all emotion/energy... and all I am left to deal with is apathy and the ocassional bitter cynicism.

Highlights of my week:

http://autonet.ca/Francais/SalonAuto/storyimages/story10685-picture12572-L.jpg

-I got a new 2005 berry red Corolla... :D

-I think I've gained weight =\ ... well, maybe YOU can't tell, but I can.

-I got an 88 on a Hamilton Lit essay... still not entirely happy about it even though I have a 92 with AP Curve because it doesn't help my grade... I was hoping for a little higher but oh well -_- Gotta take what you get.

-I ate TONS of peanut butter this week... more than I have ever eaten in my entire life...dude, that stuff is good!

I will write more in depth later, ie: more elaboration, but it's Friday afternoon, and I'm tired of staring 24/7 at the computer because of studying or procrastination, or a little of both. Time to get some physical exercise and enjoy the beauty of nature (or the depths of my kitchen, if you're like me who works out in the kitchen) :)

Time is elusive. I can never seem to find enough of it to last me a whole day. Which is ironic because a day does constitute of time.

I get home around 3:30pm everyday from school, put my stuff down, and get on the computer to check email, check who is online, check my website (what you're currently visiting :p), and so on and so forth. Frequently, I do my homework while sitting at the computer, but I find that a distraction at times, especially with all the tools accessible with the click of a mouse--IM, e-mail, music, to name a few. Then as the hours roll by and evening comes, I then take the time to study for quizzes/tests for the following day. Of course, 50% of the time you catch me, I would probably be on IM. I still manage to do both (study/do homework), but the evening still wears away, and the days that I am sitting at the computer, I look at my erroneous desktop clock.

8:34 p.m.

Actually, please note that I said "erroneous," meaning that... it's wrong. It's not really 8:34 - in fact, it's close to 11:45 p.m., to say the least. Nearing midnight. Great. This isn't a once or twice occurence... in fact, recently, it has been nearing every night. Well, you might say, 12am, that's not too bad. Well, consider that because I am bound to the chains of high school until I leave the school in May 2006, I have to wake up every morning around 6:30a.m. (and FYI, recently it has been 6:05 a.m. because my poor car broke down, and I am car-less), get to school, and start class at 7:50a.m. Dangit, you know all those studies about how people really need 8-9 hours of sleep every night? I will tell you right now: THEY'RE RIGHT. 6 hours of sleep is not enough, even though it's a mere difference of two hours... I'm always having HUGE headaches in the morning, heavy eyes, and a gaping expression on my face ("What?") because of those precious two hours of sleep lost. By 5th period, I'm almost out cold....

I know I rambled for what seemed to be hours up there about seemingly nothing important, but please, unless you really have a lot of stuff to do, get your 8 hours of sleep. Your body will thank you later.

Anyway, onto some other blog-worthy events...

I went to collegeboard.org today, and I happened to surf around some colleges and universities because in a year, I will be the one that's applying to colleges. Under the admissions tab, there are things that the school heavily bases their admissions on, things that they strongly consider, and things they consider (you'll see if you visit the site, for those who care) ... For example, in one school, class rank is very important, while in another school, they only just glance at it. I am really worried that when the time comes for me to start filling out those apps, that I won't get into the colleges of my choice (currently hazy at the moment) because I didn't have enough accomplishments/good things to say about me/etc. etc.... okay, fine, I have the grades, and I'm sure I could improve my SAT scores (...hehe) and whatnot, but what else do they want of me? How do I make myself stand out to, say, Ivy League schools, with my glowing application being the one that screams to the admissions officers, "Pick me! Pick me!" ? I know some of my friends have blogged about this before... see, where I live, a lot of people end up going to a big state university. It's a very good college with a very good honors program, band, and football team (take a guess)? :P but there's this (prideful?) feeling deep down that I am capable of getting into places that are more "prestigious" than that. But it's only a feeling--am I really that capable? Or is it just my vanity speaking? I guess we shall see when in a year, the rejection letters will pile up on my table...

Okay, I need to do some homework. Being a junior in high school is no walk in the park. But I'm sure you knew that already, didn't you?

Yo necesito...

-Un grupo de amigos! Well, I have friends, but I don't know... I guess I'm a social butterfly (and yes, Raie, I do bold a lot to emphasize certain things) because I tend to "flit" from group to group. I don't really have one I can call my own, or a group of "best friends." Like right now, I have in mind a group of girls that are pretty close-knit--I'm friends with all of them, even good friends with one of them, but I'm not in their "group." Maybe I don't need a group of friends, and I can just be good friends with everyone so I can get the best of every world. ;D Also, I sort of stopped doing this "best friend(s)" business awhile ago... I don't know, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by this "best" ordeal... being attached ALL THE TIME kind of annoys me, for some reason, like when you only hang out with that one person. I don't know, maybe I'm not making much sense right now because I'm pretty tired. LOL OMG BFF!!!!!!!!!! FRIENDS FOREVER I LOVE YOU XOXOXOXOXOXO that's not really me, I'm not sure if that was ever me... I'm really a reserved person, to tell you the truth. Even with my few really good friends, I don't ever tell them a lot of things about me, like for example, who my mind currently dwells on, my concerns about life, etc. etc. But enough...

-Un vida! I need a life. I don't have one. Saturday night, I'm home... I was studying and I am now blogging. Earlier in the evening, I was sleeping.

-Aprender chino... My Mandarin Chinese is rather stagnant right now, and I really want to be fluent in Mandarin so I could possibly survive on my own (sort of) in places like Taiwan. I look at talk shows on Chinese TV, and when I see Russian people speaking Chinese, despite the fact it's not all the way smooth, it bothers me that if I landed on a talk show like that, I probably wouldn't be able to say what I wanted to say very well, and I am Chinese. I've studied the language since I was 5, but it's a once-a-week thing, and I don't write much at all. When I speak with Chinese "ai-yis" and "su sus," yeah, I speak Chinese, but I can't hold, like, philosphical talks or anything... my vocab's not that expansive. Also, everytime I go overseas, I often don't know how to say certain phrases, so here I am, the American-Born-Chinese girl walking around like "?" :D I bet my extended family thinks it's disgraceful because I can only hold simple conversations in Chinese, like Hi how are you, I'm in 11th grade now, I like to _____, No, I'm not dating anyone, I don't know where I want to go to college. Maybe I should just take this class in college, although most classes offer simplified Chinese if I'm not mistaken (well, at Tech, they do)... a step backwards for me >_<

Okay, I'll stop with the "I need" and my horrible Spanish...

I still need to make my layout. Great. I've become a big-time procrastinator now. AP studying? I'll do that tomorrow.

Today was very invigorating or exhausting, however you want to put it. I volunteered at this elementary school carnival with my friend, and we were kept on our toes at all times. We manned the "BAG DECORATING" booth, and kids just put glue (drew stuff) on paper bags, dumped glitter on it, and put stickers... we ran around showing people what to do and punching holes for the handles. Gah! It took awhile to get everything to calm down... I will not go into the giftbag industry (tied too many handles to care for) and perhaps not work as an elementary school teacher... teachers don't get paid enough for all the work they have to do. By the time I left, I had stickers, glue, and glitter all over me. I never want to see microscopic itty bitty pieces of colorful metallic plastic again.

Afterwards, I went to the lake for a Chinese picnic... excellent weather, though a little windy (another hurricane?) - I ran around in the water with Jennifer, getting my pants wet in the process, great... "played" volleyball, walked around in the sand, hula-hooping. It was a nice getaway from reality, I'll tell you that.

Sometimes, I wish I had some haven I could retreat to whenever I'm not loving life.

...I need to update.

I seem to be lacking in my time-management skills. I need to stop sleeping at 12AM everyday.

A look on what's coming up in my life (not that you care, right? :D)

September 23rd - Beta Club induction, whoohoo... I'll play a simple piece on flute :D I hope it turns out decent because I really need to quell my paranoia of playing in front of people. I manage to lose my composure at times... then again, who doesn't?

September 24th - LHS VS GHS GAME!!!!!!! Our school is really big on football, even though our team wasn't so hot in the past couple of years :c) but they have improved, and we've won games now, yay... It'll be fun, seeing all of my friends again ... I hate separation (a lot of my friends went to GHS after middle school, and guess who was the loser that went to the other school...)

October 13th - PSAT/NMQST (whatever the acronymn is) is coming up soon, and although I think I'll do fine on the Verbal section, I know I'm going to do not so hot on Math and Writing... For some reason, I cannot do math very well (in the class, sure, but outside/real life application, etc...) -_-

Also, hmm... I debated once so far, and I've already missed a debate tournament last week due to our Red Cross retreat... this weekend, I can't go to yet another fun, awesome debate tournament, so I'm a little disappointed about that. Last year, I didn't debate as much as I would like to because of marching band, but now that I'm no longer enslaved by the obligations of marching band, I have most of my Fridays off, but look who's not debating much....? -_- The irony! I think my debate career, if it ever started, died...

This past weekend, I went on a Red Cross camping retreat along with Shivani, Joy, Sheel, and Vic... since I've never camped before, I envisioned a nice room (semi-nice) with at least a bathroom and lights in it. Ahh, we Americans, we're too spoiled... what a wake up call w hen we got to the campsite! To borrow someone's words, the whole area was quite... "primitive." I see why we called it a retreat: a retreat from society ^_^ but it was nice to notice how spoiled we were when we complained about the lack of lights and good beds... haha. We did some group presentations and spent most of the time enjoying the good weather outside with the blanket of beautiful stars above us when nightfall came... it was really pretty, minus the heavy smoke from the giant bonfire for the s'mores. :D And of course, Joy, Shivani, and I got the scare of our lives when this idiot guy started scratching on the cabin walls... it sounded like a bear, okay and when one is out with nature, there is no telling what she sends his/her way... -_- The three of us ran out SHRIEKING ... three girls running out of this haunted cabin shrieking for their mommies (cough, no names...) :D Quite a sight.

And of course, you can't forget ropes course....running around in the woods and whatnot, using our brains to solve puzzles. We did Tarzan and swung from a branch... and balanced a gigantic seesaw... and so on and so forth. How invigorating =D Some highlights of the trip: chocolate dessert, speed limit 12 1/2, Vic and the guitar, claaara, claaara, me choking because I'm a CPR victim, the LHS table... ^_^

It's sad how on "girly" magazines like CosmoGIRL! and Seventeen, I turn straight to the health/workouts section... ~_~ Don't bother with the makeup, fashion... etc. I did this really nice workout from the August 2004 issue of CG! yesterday, and talk about cardio and weight training... when a workout can combine the two effectively, you've got yourself a deal. :)

Anyway, I've had a crazy weekend... maybe I'll blog about it later, not in the mood right now. Why? My brain is quite fried from this APLIT essay I've been doing these past two days. I = perfectionist, but I know Mrs. H will shoot down my dreams... and like, stomp on them. Hello F's??? :) I've been working about 10 hours (rivaling Joy, uh oh) on this stupid essay, and it better be worth all my efforts, too. Due Wednesday.

Hey, I've got a new layout image, but I need to learn how to code well (see prev. entry? Or so) ... and do something snazzy with it. I don't know. All this stuff takes time... gargh! I just need to dedicate a "HTML/PHOTOSHOP" month for me...

Okay. Take time to stop and appreciate your friends and who they are. You may think you don't have people who care about you ... but oooh, there are plenty that love you for who you are and are concerned about. I think I've finally learned how to appreciate that fact lately... love to all of my friends. I'll probably write another long entry that nobody reads about this topic later... but not now. My back hurts...

Hello.

These past couple of days, it has been pouring like there's no tomorrow. Where I live, Hurricane Frances was not in its direct path, but it still dumped lots of rain here. I guess my dry grass is happy now =) It's scary just to imagine winds at 90mph... over here, all the swaying trees and debris at 20mph is bad enough! I hope the people in Florida are recuperating...

My U.S. History teacher is so Republican... either that, or very patriotic, although everyone says, "Yeah, he's Republican. If nothing else." It must be something about serving in marine corps... he has great pride for this country. I told my friend, "Hey, if Bush wins in November, he [my teacher] should hold a party..." She was all aghast and replied, "...I don't want Bush to win!"

Haha, I'm reading Newsweek now. There's an article that states that there's a lot of women that are "skinny and tall" (I guess past 6 feet) so they could never find clothes that fit right. That's funny, a "tall market is heating up" with stores such as Jungle Babies, Chicks with Attitudes... Sad (?) to say that I did not get the Amazonian genes from my family, nope. But it's ironic how the tallest guy (or if I'm wrong, one of the tallest guys) in basketball is... Chinese! I'm only 5'3.5", 5'4"...

Blah, at this rate I won't finish the new layout until late September. That's usually how it is... ^_^' I need like, an insta-layout designer program... :D

[pasted from my Xanga]
On MTV's True Life: I am in an interracial relationship... there are three couples featured: a Caucasian guy and an African-American girl, a Caucasian guy and African-American guy, and a Hispanic guy and a Caucasian girl. Out of all them, I think the happiest is the first one... their families are both accepting of the other and they're both really cute :D ... The guy just asked the girl to marry her, aww! I wonder how I would fare if I were faced with a decision like that--well, interracial relationships. My parents are more for Asian (definitely Chinese...) guys, and I think I would be, too (especially in, say, marriage), but when you're in "love," does it really matter?

I know, I know, I think way ahead of my time :P when I should be focusing right here, right now... but in the event that I do find someone that's not Chinese/Asian... I wonder how that would fare? I've talked about this with someone, how it would be "weird" for the children - I used to think it was hard being Chinese yet not so Chinese in America, but I can only imagine having both sides in my blood. Also, there's just some feeling to keep your family blood consistent/pure, like most Chinese/Asian people like for it to be. Family pride? Not sure. Well, I'll just let my life run its course and see where it takes me in ten years.

I'm making a new layout... I promise. It's taking me awhile because I always put it on the bottom of my priorities. :( I also need to learn how to code more effectively XD ... I suck. I need to take HTML/XHTML/CSS/PHP classes or whatever... Care to help? :p hehe.

Anyway, I came back from NF's party... was really cute and fun. I gorged on Chinese food (not really) and I finally discovered the magic of cream puffs. Mmm... we girls watched The Prince and Me starring Julia Stiles. Blah, the movie was EXTREMELY predictable... I think there are SO MANY movies out there that go like this: some prince doesn't want to be a prince anymore, goes over to America, falls in love, the girl finds out he's a prince, she gets mad, but eventually things work out okay. A "cute" chick flick movie--but I could so tell when they were going to makeout or almost "do-it" everytime in the movie, so yes, once again, predictable. I'm not sure if the critics liked it... probably not. Too cliched? The guy wasn't half bad though, although I've seen better. I proclaimed I wanted to marry a Danish guy when I grew up, but I think I was kidding...

I actually bought clothes this weekend. Lots of sales going on because of Labor Day which by the way, I should wish you all a good one. :) Goody's, there's RACKS full of "Buy 1 Get 1" which is really rare, although I still think $30 for two items of clothing is expensive :P ... I bought a pink/white somewhat long skirt and an American flag shirt @ Stein Mart... earlier, I bought a blue polo (looks like a tennis top) at Rich's, so yeaaa... that's more clothes that I buy in a year lol :)

Jogging = great. I've been making use of my treadmill lately, hehehe... jogging for even 10 minutes is very tolling though, especially when you don't do it often. I need to build my endurance XD ...

Why do I have Mandy Moore's song "Crush" in my head?!?!?! >:O "I got a crush on yoooou..." I hate it when songs are stuck on repeat in my head, especially songs like that. Is it trying to tell me something?