[personal entry ahead so feel free to skip some parts if you're like "...what?"]

Each year in May, as the school year wraps up (last day of school is on Friday; Tuesday for the lucky seniors), I often have this question:

"What have I been doing for the past 10 months?"

Seriously, the year always goes by in the blink of an eye, yet one week, one day, or even one hour feels like months and months at a time. Time is relative, but I still cannot fathom that simple fact. We have 180 days to live out yet another school year, and hopefully each year something great is accomplished, yet I often cannot recall but a fraction of those 180 days. This is probably one of the reasons why I keep a journal: to remind me what in the world I've been up to as a silly, sentimental, emotionally unstable, weird 16-year-old living her life.

2003-2004...

Academically, I've been doing really well (apparently I was bumped up to number 2 by rank but that's probably changed by now), and the classes weren't too bad with the exception of Honors Chemistry (I have a 96/97 but man, there were some hard tests). This will be my last slack year before Junior year next year... ack. :)

Band was fun, too -- piccolo for marching band (Stars and Stripes!), playing 1st part in class, listening to out of tune flutes back there, but of course some high points and some low points -- I got 2nd at District because my flute was broken, and I was angry because the girl who got 1st wasn't that great; once again I screwed up my All-State audition that I got down close to perfect the weeks before, and I played it like I was sightreading it -- but don't worry about it, I complain too much. Festival -- All I's, so that was really pleasing. I picked up tenor saxophone and hopefully I'll be able to stick with it.

Debate was a memorable experience with the meeting of so many awesome people and the fun times Joy and I had with evidence and whatnot. We kicked butt most of the time at tournaments -- Westminster 2nd, Brookwood, semi-finals or something, but we left; JV at Carrollton...HARD but we managed to get to Octos? :D -- I got to room with Jane and Amanda, and Joy and I ran around the hotels at 2am... I met Kevin (who became my sponsor for NHS inductino? ;D), learned about the twisted Michel Foucault, and had fun hyperventilating in rounds. Well, I'll stop writing because you probably have no idea what i'm talking about :) Next year: VARSITY ... we'll get our butts kicked (well, okay, Joy will be okay with it probably:P but I'll be like "uh...")

PROM -- Yun and I went to LHS prom; we had an enjoyable time. =) I blogged about it earlier, so no need to repeat myself.

MISC. -- I participated in Toastmasters and I even got to be President to speak at the dinner -- hopefully, I won't tremor and stutter that much for public speaking and debate. I'll be co-treasurer for Beta Club next year... some more stuff, but I can't recall it...

I grew closer to God this year -- attended a Bible study during Lent, played flute for a church this year during Lent, but in the process I listened to the pastor's messages, and they were pretty awe-inspiring. I even gave up baked goods for Lent :D I read the Bible a lot more, I prayed a lot more, I pray a lot for my friends and loved ones. I finished the Left Behind series (yeah!). A lot to do in my spiritual walk, a lot of unanswered questsions (that I will try to find this summer or this year) but I'm progressing...

I got to know a lot of people this year via strange circumstances (some of them) -- Sohaib at math tournament (that's funny...); Yun in someone's chatroom (finally I see him in the library) ... see what I mean? :] This year, I developed or strengthened close friendships, but I also grew extremely distant this year. I'm not surprised if people hate me. Do I find comfort in solitude? Yes, I do. Maybe this year is my off-year to "take a break" from it all. Last year, I hung out with groups all the time -- but I never got that much time to myself...

It'll change...

There's a lot more I would love to blog about, both good, bad, and inbetween, but a lot of the stuff only my journal (or my crazy mind) would hear... Okay, yes, 2003-2004 wasn't bad, but I feel a little empty, unsatisfied, and no closure despite all my happiness. Antithetical, right? ~_~

And so ends my harangue.