Haha.

So I've reflected on my blog name. "Insouciant" means carefree, and I realized, well, these past 4 years I don't think I've been "insouciant" much at all. I mean, that was my goal right? I even named my blog after it... but no. I've been really uptight, especially of the late, especially when grades are concerned.

So maybe I am a nerd.

Before you affirm my statement with a definite, "OH YES YOU ARE!" let's think about the common definition of a nerd: one who studies all the time. All the time meaning I plan out my day studying from 8am-8pm. Uh, well, not really. When I need to work hard (ie: TEST coming up), yes, I will work hard. But that doesn't mean I have no fun, either. I don't know. Whenever people are like, "You nerd!" I think, "Eh, is that necessarily a bad thing?" If I am really what people call the epitome of a nerd, then nerds can work hard AND get their fun in. Maybe this is a geeky thing to do, but uh, yeah, in my spare time, I play video games. I write. I read. I laugh. I talk. I eat ice cream :) *Tuesday Night Special $1* I love. Maybe being a nerd, if I really am one, isn't so bad after all. It's not like I spend nights studying till 3am - my latest is usually 1:30am and that's only if necessary :P

May 20, 2006 is rapidly approaching. The day that we've all been waiting for is finally here. Yet, all of us want to put on the brakes and plead with Time to slow down just one more week, one more month, maybe even one more year. I was reading in the yearbook those side inserts, and one of them was about regrets. Just a little more time would suffice for all those lost opportunities. One of the girls says, "I have no regrets!!" But do you really? Do you really? Sure, your experiences make up who you are today - most likely a wonderful person loved by most everyone - but isn't there ever that nagging little voice that is like, "Why didn't you call him... why didn't you run for student council... what happened if you did go down that other path that one night..."

Okay, so maybe it is too late for some opportunities. I still have those voices in my head (although growing fainter by the day). Sometimes, I do wonder if I should have held my tongue that one day, or if I shouldn't have lost it that one day... I can get rather acerbic, although sometimes I don't know it (or I do know it and feel guilty immediately afterwards). I need to curb that characteristic of mine.