Being in love is one of the best feelings in the world. <3

***

Happy Father's Day to everyone, even if you're not a father. My sister and I pleasantly surprised our dad with two cute cards, a Snoopy "Cool Daddy-O" T-shirt, and some dark chocolate. That may not seem a lot, but my dad has mostly everything he needs, and he doesn't like us buying random gifts that will only end up collecting dust :) We all had a joyous morning, which is rare since most of us aren't up in the mornings.

We went out to eat, and around 4pm, my sister, dad, and I went to see Hitch at the 99 cent theater. Sigh. Sorry, that movie fell way below my expectations. I chuckled at some parts, but I wasn't rolling on the floor laughing like I thought I would be doing. The movie dragged on way too long, and that Hispanic girl was getting on my nerves! I didn't like her from the start. Will Smith could have been funnier. The movie was too cheesy and long for my liking.

BOOK-A-HOLIC: So far this summer, I have read 13 books. If I can, I want to read 50, but I don't know if that's stretching it a bit... then again, I am known for reading a lot. Well, maybe I should concentrate on other more important things than reading all these fiction novels... now why don't I have an 800 on the SAT I verbal yet...

Hey everyone! I saw Batman Begins today with some of my friends (love you all!) :) Christian Bale looks horrible with the mustache and beard (hello, Reign of Fire?) in my opinion, but when he's clean-shaven and not psycho (ahem, American Psycho), he looks pretty good. :) He did an okay job as Bruce Wayne. You know, the troubled 30-year-old type of guy. I always imagine Christian Bale as the dark one... :) (Equilibrium comes to mind) Katie Holmes was kind of... uhh, I don't know, a little wooden in her acting, but it was decent. Nice action scenes, though, but oh my gosh, the Scarecrow guy (the guy who terrorizes everyone with aerosol hallucinogens) was a joke. I thought it was a reject Joker at first. Get a new mask, honey. The torn up corn sack with holes for eyes was a horrible excuse for a mask.

Thanks and hugs to all those who voted for my site! *heart* I will be continuing it this week, so if you vote for my site again this week, I would really appreciate it! :) I used to do vote exchanging with 100s of people, but it got to be a hassle and an annoyance, so I guess I will rely on true voting this time. :)

I went out shopping with my sister today. "Sisters (and brothers?) are the friends you're born with!" On the days that we're not at each others' throats, we are, in fact, pretty good friends. We went to Target (woot) and the mall. I went shopping for a special someone and my dad. Father's Day is on June 19th! Of course, we swung by Wal-mart (open 24 hours!) and spent some more money there. I spent about $80 today, most of it not for me. :O Shopping all day drains your money like none other!!! Gah. We ate at Subway for dinner. Yum. Light mayo tastes exactly like regular mayo!

Yale sent me its application today. I guess I should apply there. My dad said the importance of Ivy League schools is the connections you will have after college. "It's especially important in business!" How true, you're so up there... ^_^'

Okay, I'm going to relax now. :)

Does anyone else have memory problems?

I think I am a likely candidate for Alzheimer's in my later years. If the present is any indication of how I will be in the years to come, oh goodness gracious, my future is not pretty. I have a problem remembering past events, from a mere six hours ago to six years ago. For some reason, certain things just won't stick in the crevices of my memory bank UNLESS I write it down. Perhaps that's why I keep a journal in real life. You can tell me a million times what you're planning on doing later today, and chances are, I'll be like, "Say wha?" if you ask me to ramble off your list. My friend asked me some facts about someone, and as I opened my mouth to answer, I paused, then I panicked. I couldn't remember... Well, perhaps my lack of memory isn't as bad as I think it is. Then why does it feel like I can't... recall... anything...to...save...my...life?

I hung out with my friend Kelly and her sister today. She and I have been friends for about 10 years now (hooray!) and I don't see her that often, to tell you the truth. She's a couple of years older than me, and you know how it is with friends older than you... the college years, etc. I still love her anyway and appreciate the times, including today, that we spend together. :D We ate pizza and cookies (junk food, yay) and watched some TV while we caught up on gossip. I love Chinese gossip... (call that sarcasm if you will ^^ but it's kind of addicting)

Nerds make better lovers =) Do you know I have a shirt that says I LOVE NERDS on it? Ha. Well, I do. ^_^

Hello, everyone! If you haven't seen it already, I would appreciate your voting for my site at Fantasy Fights: Garden of Enchantment. The banners for FF on my site here are on the left sidebar in case you haven't seen it. Fantasy Fights is a family-friendly, fun web competition. I actually won it awhile back in 2002 (you can see it on the winners list) under a different site (Queen Dani's Palace ^_^), so out of fun, I wanted to try it again. You may vote once per day (Monday - Friday except holidays) for Elegantly Insouciant, my site, and I would really, truly appreciate it :)

I've been in this horrible, listless mood these past couple of days. My ankle has been healing okay (for those who don't know, I tore a ligament about 2 weeks ago), except I still can't bend it in certain directions. In fact, I can't squat at all since it requires the bending of the ankle, blah. Thanks to all those who have wished me a fast recovery! *heart*

I might be destined for 5 APs next year. I talked to my school guidance counselor today, and I found out that debate, normally 2nd period, is moved to 6th (really, really odd, since I'm sure it's been 2nd period for years ;D), but AP Biology is also 6th period. Due to my unfortunate lack of interest in the debate activity this past year, I think it would be much better for me to drop debate over AP Bio, but... *in Mandarin Chinese* "man kuh shi" (not accurate pinyin, my dears ^_^) because I' ve done it for 3 years now (since 9th grade)... pity that the last year is no more...(yes, I can't let go!)

SAT IIs this past Saturday left me feeling rather grim. U.S. History and Chemistry were okay. MATH IIC however, well... For some reason, an 800 in math (either SAT I or II) continues to elude me (heck, even a 700 - I got a 690 last time), and I don't know why. I read in this book that females tend to score, on average, 40 points lower than males on math, and how the SAT may be biased towards males. Err, right. The SAT falsingly makes women believe they suck at math (at least, that's the feeling I'm getting) and consequently, my parents (my dad in particular) thinks I'm a failure at math. Riiight. Even though I get 100s in school... Well, the book did say that the SAT scores usually don't have that much of a correlation as to how well women do in college, GPA wise. We'll see. Maybe I'll be totally awesome in adv. Calculus, but an 800 in SAT math will forever elude me.

Peanut butter is good. ^_^ I put peanut butter on whole wheat English muffins, and it's quite scrumptious.

Who Links Here

Take care everyone, God bless :)

Ugh, guess who woke up at 7AM today...

I could have sworn I heard ESPN announce that the French Open Semifinals was at 8AM Eastern time. So, being the recent tennis nerd that I am, I woke up at 7AM (surprisingly, unaided!) and what do I find on ESPN?

Stump the Schwab!

Well, I learned some new sports trivia (NOT)... anyway, it's this game show featuring this burly guy named Schwab (last name, I presume) and some other middle aged guys try to get more trivia points (sportsof course) right than the big man. Whoo...

I have been up for two hours now, watching The Fairly Odd Parents ("Everything tastes better with rabies! Yay!" -Cosmo) and learning French. Actually, I think it would be cool to learn conversational French/Spanish because I mostly deal with reading/writing the languages (definitely more Spanish, since I've been learning it for 2 years now)... Engage in a conversation with me, and I'll be like, "No hablo espanol muy bien" or whatever ^_^" One thing I love about Mandarin Chinese: NO CONJUGATIONS! Everything is pretty much the same...

SAT IIs tomorrow. I'm going to fail math. Omg.

Ok, so I can't do math...

I'm a disgrace to all Asian people out there. -_-

Gosh, I don't know my calling in life. I don't know what I'm good at. Definitely not math, I'll tell you that. People look at me and expect me to jump into the medical field... in a perfect world, I think that's about right, but I don't know. I don't really feel a passion for science-y fields. Sure, I know chemistry (I think :D), but... what does that tell me? Not much. And sure, I play flute. Been playing since 6th grade. But what am I supposed to do with this after high school? Pack it away to collect dust for years to come, if I'm not doing band?

I just feel like I'm not smart enough. Ever.

Happy belated birthday to my hostess, Kathie!! :) I love you!

Yes, new layout. I've gotten better about this... it's been less than 2 months! ;) I was listening to Spanish rock/pop and found a cool lyric "My heart never left" ... I don't think it was talking about summer :p (a girl, I believe), but it sounds like a summer-y theme, right? I'm not turning into one of those *sPrIng BreAk 2005* girls, am I? :P Yikes, no.

My depression has lifted a little bit... I turned to learning French once again (how dorky am I?!) :) I wanted to learn Italian, but maybe I should master Spanish first... teehee. For now, I'll just be content with their music.

I got SAT scores back... I took it May (it's almost over!!), and well, I thought I did really badly on it because I didn't wait long enough since March. Well, I raised my overall score 70 points (woot), but I would like to break a 2200 =\ ... but I'm stupid when it comes to these things, so maybe not. I'm almost graduating, too. Yikes!! How time flies, as cliché as that might sound.

I went to physical therapy today, but I didn't need it since I'm still healing. Oh well. At least I got to talk to this Russian/Polish guy. Man, I love accents :D

Happy Memorial Day! May God bless our troops!!

Am I too dependent on exercise and/or moving around? A whole week since my sprained ankle incident, and my ankle is still not 100% healed. I have to go to physical therapy tomorrow.

Lately, I've been suffering moderate to extreme depression because I feel so suffocated at home. One day, I wanted to cry so much... but then again, it was like, 12:00 am or so. I just feel really trapped. I can't believe I waited 180 days (of school) to get out only to be confined to another prison: my house. The worse thing is that it's more that 8 hours a day, unlike school. That, and the fact that I don't move around as much, so where else does my food go? That's right, it gets turned into fat, and I am once again this blob. I just feel like this giant pillow with arms, legs, and a head. =(

People say I complain about my figure too much, and perhaps I do. But until I feel comfortable enough to walk to the pool with a swimsuit on (I have NEVER felt comfortable going to the pool), I don't think I will ever be happy... such is the fate of the perfectionist in everything s/he does =(

Sigh. Sorry, yeah, I do sound depressed. Once I get this brace off, I'll move around again and I will be a happy child once more. :) Don't injure yourself, my lovelies :) take care, be safe, be happy!

Oh, NADINE, where are you??? :P

PAIN. HURT. OW.

Hey, update on my life: I tore a ligament in my ankle on Monday. That's right, first couple days of summer and I've already got myself injured. >:o Monday was THE MOST PAINFUL DAY OF MY LIFE (I shed so many tears, my face was so red), and Tuesday resulted in a trip to the doctor, a soft cast, and crutches to boot. Right. Good news is that it comes off Friday, and I get a brace. Thank God it wasn't anything more serious...like, breaking all the tarsals/metatarsals in my foot.

I played Yahoo!Graffiti with some friends last night. Being "the last one to leave" stinks. Most of my better, longtime friends have been in college for awhile, now... and I'm still here, with another year left. I guess I shouldn't wish it away. It won't do me any good :-)

Today was graduation. CONGRATULATIONS SENIORS, CLASS OF 2005! No, I'm not graduating yet, but it was a poignant moment when I saw all of my friends being called. I'll be there, next year... bawling my head off :) I finally finished junior year, but I still have another year looming before me. Hooray. -_-

I don't know what colleges that I should apply to. I'll probably be doing pre-med and/or engineering... something along the likes of these. I'll be staying in the United States, so no Oxford, England or anything :D Suggestions? XD

Okay, blogthings sure are addicting. I don't know why. The cute little sites like these "tell" you things about yourself, and well, sometimes, they come shockingly close to the truth XD but othertimes, they're way off.

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Visioning You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights. You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details. An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path. You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Experimenting You're all about looking at the facts, and you could always use more of them. You see life as your lab - and you're always trying out new things, people, and ideas. The master of mix and match, you're always coming up with unique combinations. You are good at getting a group to reach consensus.

What's Your Thinking Style?

All right, I'm off to learn German.

My friend noticed that I had this cute little French phrasebook, and she bought me this cute little German phrasebook XD isn't that funny? Right now, I'm trying to perfect my Chinese/Spanish (it's so odd - on channels like CCTV international, they have Chinese people speaking almost fluent Spanish! No accent! So... I listen to them :D), trying to pick up some French (Je vais bien), and I guess I will throw German on the backburner, although their pronounciation is kind of... different, yes? Hmm, I know "guten tag" and Hello (Ha-lo) :D

Well, I think languages are fun. Hey, I listen to Italian music... *shrugs*

Mood: relieved.

Last week was rough. So many tests in a row, one after the other. Well, I managed to get out of it unscathed (except for the dark circles around my eyes, yeah). We took a practice AP exam in Chemistry that counted as a test grade. I thought I was going to get a 3 or so due to my performance on the multiple choice - my goodness, that was the hardest selection of multiple choice questions I have ever seen -_- I answered 40 right but 28 wrong (28, geez... in a real class, that would be, what, failing?) Free response was all right, but my teacher told me I got 0 points for one of them, -.- But in the end, I think my other free response questions worked out so I managed to get a "5" (the highest) overall... but barely. The AP Chemistry exam is next Tuesday, so I will do a little more studying (because I haven't really been studying lately... reading the Barron's book 20 minutes before Chemistry period, all right!), and hopefully I'll get a 5 on the real thing *prays*

SAT on Saturday -_-

Test after test after test after test.

Oh yeah, I got a "cute" haircut. It's a little longer than my shoulders now (as opposed to, say, my elbows) - long hair is pretty, but it's so hard to manage and keep out of the way (yes, I know, tie it up, but I'm not too fond of doing that very often :D)

Hmm, you can click here to see me in my prom dress. It's a fuzzy picture, but it will do.

PROM PICTURES ARE IN!!! YAY!!!

Our school had prom last Friday, and I just now got the pictures developed. Always the latecomer, I am. ;D I will upload some later (I need to get them scanned) ... Prom was lots of fun, although the prom was held "in a box," as someone kindly said (well, most rooms are "boxes" anyway) :) I had a good date, Mr. Prakash over here (doubt you'd read this, but once again, thanks lots! Haha, a new Dani phrase?) ... thank youuuuu!

Okay, this week was crazy crazy. I've been memorizing like none other for the past three days. Now, one more leap to make - I have 5 tests tomorrow. *grins* Studious Dani. Actually, I've been losing it lately. I've been having mean temper streaks and complaining to the world, "Why me?" Not like I have it that hard, right? =
I looooove Robin Hood: the soundtrack (old movie? still good, though... NOT the Men in Tights version). It's currently stuck in my head.

Three more concerts I have to play in from now until May 10!! o_O For those who don't know, I play flute/piccolo.

*sigh*

Finally, a new layout. I don't know if the colors match. I was never known for my sense of style. :)

I had this layout a long time ago, but I never used it. Probably because it was hard to match up the colors. Duurrr... well, at least it is a new layout for those who are interested. :)

Yesterday, I went to a carwash, washed some cars, ate with some friends at Chili's. I hung out with my "gal pals," Chinatown (a group of four, myself included, Chinese girls) in the Target shopping area. Whoohoo, so much stuff to buy, so little money... :) I need to get a job. I'm waiting for my paycheck from the Masters, though... $500 to spend!

I've been stressed out way too much lately. I think I do put it on myself. :( Well, technically, there is so much stuff to do, and I want to be prepared for anything and everything. Is that too much to ask?

I exercised today. There's this one kickboxing/squat move I'm fond of. I wish I had more time to exercise because that's the only reason why I don't weigh 29348739 pounds right now. Thank you, cardio and strength training...

Okay, just realized I shouldn't be sitting here. Should be hitting the books once again. D'oh. :) Love you all.

Ok, I suck.

I've been getting like, no sleep lately. Trying to "diet" but still thinking that I'm on the fat side (the mirror is oh, so cruel) ... hmm, what else. Gone psycho/insane lately, remember kids, sleep is very, very important! Otherwise, you'll start rambling like me :) ...

One more hurdle, Dani ... one more (well, more like 40 more)

I have a new layout, but I need to code it and coordinate the colors, so it'll be awhile (yeah, I know, I suck, I'm sorry). :)

Happy Easter Sunday :) Unfortunately, it's stormy over here. I've been picking up my Scriptures readings lately. There's so much that I don't know...

!!!! I still can't figure out how to install wordpress.

Am I supposed to upload the files in a specific manner? ASCII, binary, etc. I'm using WS FTP. I've uploaded all the files, and it keeps on telling me that my info for wp-config.php is wrong, yet I typed in everything Kathie gave me... any suggestions?

I will... make a new layout this Friday (hopefully! Someone needs to kick me) since spring break starts next week and I won't have time to be at the computer because I'm working (that's right, I live in the golf capital of the world) ... :)

Much love to everyone, but especially a special someone. :)

The weather is fantabulous.

And I think I just coined my own term. *grins* Oh wait, just kidding, it's an actual word :) LOL ... anyway, darn. Yeah, spring has officially arrived, methinks, and the sun is out! I hope to see green and sky blue everywhere now. I am blessed that I do not suffer from allergies, so I can romp around in the grass :) But ... seriously, if there's a nice day out, do try to enjoy the brightness and sunshine!

I love my friends. Omg. I have been so neglectful of everyone lately. I am the worst friend in the world ... living in my own world, entrenched in my books (is that the right word? or am I guilty of a malapropism again?) ... I caught up with a couple of people, and I realized how long we haven't exchanged words ... bad, bad, bad, Dani. I even wrote an essay about this awhile ago (keeping friendships/relationships alive) ... d'oh. I need to practice what I preach.

I'm going to take a nap. Falling asleep while practicing flute is not cool. Au revoir.

Okay, well, I got one of the four things done on my "Things to Do" and that's a new cam pic. It's not even a good one (the beginnings of my research paper for AP Lit), but it will do. Hey, it's an update (a much needed one) ... and I really need to get my hands on Photoshop soon. Layout ideas... coming up with a new layout idea is always the hardest part for me, and the design comes second :P kind of ironic, though. Well, both procedures take a long time for me (I'm slow). :D

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY (tomorrow) since I'm not going to be blogging tomorrow, obviously :D Recuerda llevar las prendas verdes (Spanish students, take note at my horrendous grammar?) ... ^_^

I want to be fluent in the "Latin" languages before I die. French, Spanish, Italian, etc. etc. Well, okay that's probably not possible in all 92837489 of them, but perhaps, at least one ... but if I want to be fluent, I really need to be serious in my studies, yes? Aren't polyglots cool? I respect them a lot. It takes a lot of time and dedication in order to get a language down ;P If you want to try a new language, try Mandarin Chinese... -_- It's a never-ending journey.

Listening to: DMB's "Grey Street"
Feeling: Apathetic, but leaning towards grumpy...

I cried during Beauty and the Beast.

Yes, instead of hanging out with friends on a Saturday night, I settled myself in my living room and watched the timeless Disney classic. It's been 10 years since my last viewing of the movie, and well... yeah. It's still a good, good movie. I cried (had tears) when the Beast said he had to let Belle go because he loved her and at the end when he "dies" and Belle starts to cry... wow, I didn't think I still got this emotional at Disney movies, but nothing's changed. ^_^' Gah, I'm such a social loser.

Aaaaand...
1) I need a new layout
2) I need to convert to wordpress XD
3) I need a new cam picture
4) I need to study...

Much love.

You know what? Life sucks.

Well, well. Where's the motivation? Come every Sunday, when all these tests, quizzes, assignments, and projects are around the corner, I never, ever feel like doing anything productive anymore.

That's my problem - everytime I embark on a journey (be it school, flute, learning a new language, whatever), I always become lackadaisical and lose my motivation about 2/3s of the way there, if I'm lucky. I'm a great starter-upper, but a lot of times, I don't finish. Now, I think, WOW, only one and half more year, but I'm already losing steam ... =\ and of course, there's a direct correlation of how much I study/work/practice to how well I turn out. Put in little to no work, and the results are... crap.

Okay, I need to shut up and get back to studying. ^_^

Oh, Adam - if you're Oriental (heck, Asian) ... if you even think of becoming an English professor, forget having your name on the will ... (aka disinherited) :) They just have this mentality that anything but business, law, enginnering, and med. = failure in the eyes of the Oriental society =D well, I sometimes disagree, but ... we'll see.

I visited GA Tech today. :)

Dani an engineer...if not business or a doctor, that's what I'll be. Good, but kind of sad that our choice of careers are limited to those three, if you're an Oriental.

I'll blog more later - just letting you guys know I'm still alive. :)

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

I need to read Dante. I remember one time, I had to buy a copy of it for Mike F... haha Mike, do you remember?

Lately, I've been contemplating a lot about people, relationships, what I want in life, what's important in life, religion, school, growing up, etc. I don't think I've come to a conclusion, and I probably don't expect to have some until I grow older. I mean, I'm only 17, and I'm still "learning" (theoretically) everyday with life's lessons. You know, the times when Life itself smacks in you in the face and leaves you smarting in the face for days :\ I don't really know what it takes for me to be happy. I hope I don't turn out to be some selfish b***** in my growing experience, and I definitely hope I don't turn out to be an Edna Pontellier. Maybe I need to stop dwelling in the past. Some of these doors were left open, and I just can't seem to close them. No matter how hard I try, I often find myself gravitating toward what could have been and not focusing on what is. Dangerous to be living in the past.

Peanut butter is good.

All right, it's about 9:20 pm Saturday night, and what is Dani doing?

Obviously not partying because she's online...writing a blog entry. Great, I need a life, right? :)

These past couple of days have been busy with band. Thursday night - Saturday afternoon, my hours were dedicated to flute. District honor band took place, and stroke of luck (or two), I ended up second chair (again) ... next to Sara N. (which was expected) Anyway, I say it was luck because I was originally 4th, but due to people not being in the band for certain reasons, I got moved up :D (happy) We had UGA's band director as our conductor, whoohoo... what a crazy man.

We played three pieces:

1. Noisy Wheels of Joy by Eric Whitacre (I HATE most contemporary music ... :O they make no sense!!)
2. La Procession Du Rocio (a looong two movement piece) by Joaquin Turina
3. Foshay Tower Washington Memorial March by John Phillip Sousa (I played this at Janfest last year!!)

With the exception of the first piece (who would have thought I could despise a piece so much? IT was so dumb, elementary, and just plain annoying), I liked our music, and I even got to play piccolo on the second piece :D :D :D yay, although I suck at tuning that thing ... so yea, it was an eventful three days, and to make a long story short. I saw all of my old middle school friends (tear tear tear ... I wonder how life would have turned out if I actually went to the same high school as them. That wondering is still there, lurking in the back of my mind, somehow.) and some old adult friends/teachers (my middle school teacher who still remembers his first awesome 8th grade flute section at RMS ;D ahh, don't you miss 8th grade) ... :D

Content.

Oh, I might be on my way to be a model... IF this whole thing isn't a scam (I need to do my research on this). The other day, my mom took my sister and I to this casting call with an evaluation... well, it was free, and hey, I had some time on Tuesday night. I stood in front of a camera for about 30 seconds and said my name, my age, and what I wanted to do after high school. I didn't think this would happen because my sister is a lot more of the model-type than I am, but I heard back from them today via letter, and they want my parents to come back for me next next Sunday ... wow, was I amazed (actually, I was amazed that they didn't ask for my sister - now if you don't know my sister, she's the beauty of the family). I don't know how big the chances of me going to Hollywood (or whatever ... I'm guessing the small things like those commercials on TV) are, but if I did ... I, Dani, the super nerd, model for something (even a 30 second commercial) - now who would have thought. But, this could be a scam (you know how America is), and I think I'd want to finish my education...

Valentine's Day is on Monday. <3

Hey guys and gals,

I'm stressed out at the moment ... just when I thought I could relax, noooo, more work is dumped onto my shoulders, and I can't carry it much longer. I hope I don't die early due to some stress-related disease/cancer.

Thanks for your notes, guys ... LOL, my birthday is December 13 (hence the "wait awhile"), but I appreciate the notes. :) Come back to me in 10 months.

Being in love is a totally new experience worth checking out... but I just wish that I had more time for love.

Happy Chinese New Year (tomorrow) !! Year of the Rooster!! Jing ji bao shi! Wear red.

Whoohoo, Valentine's Day on the Fourteenth. I know this is cliché, but ... how time flies. It's already the second month of the year 2005, and what have I accomplished this January? Not a lot. Oh well. There are 11 months to go ...

Eyeopener: I will ... be ... 18 ... this year ... :O :O :O (but not for a good while). When the time is near, I'll be sure to remind you guys. ;) It's so weird because I'm still thinking that I'm 15, and all of my friends are 16-18 (or so) , but now, I have painfully realized that they're hittin' the early twenties already. :\ Sooner or later, I'll be 20 myself. That year has always seem oceans away, but now, I'm already seeing the shoreline inching up (if that makes sense).

Anyway. Back to Valentine's Day. For the most part, I was apathetic about the special loving holiday, but surprisingly, this year, I actually have a reason to care about this rose-and-chocolate-celebrating holiday.

I'm cold. It's about 40 degrees outside ... and considering how ghetto my house is, it's about 40 degrees in this house, too. XD

Word from dictionary.com: perfunctory \pur-FUNGK-tuh-ree\, adjective: 1. Done merely to carry out a duty; performed mechanically or
routinely. 2. Lacking interest, care, or enthusiasm; indifferent.

These past couple of weeks have been yet another bump or two on the road of life. I feel like some mad scientist in an AP Chem. lab threw my little self into a giant centrifuge, shook me around until I was totally discombobulated, and thrown back onto the petri dish. My head still hurts, and I need to gather myself together.

In AP Lit, we are studying Kate Chopin's The Awakening. As much as we (my friend and I) dislike that selfish "whore," Edna Pontellier, I can see why she loves to delve in the dream world. Not living up to life's expectations and not facing the dreariness, often perfunctory actions of everyday life are appealing and fun, but escapes from reality are only temporarily. That's the message I need to tell myself. I need to stop wandering around (both physically and mentally) and get to work. Sorry, Edna.

The other day, I watched Napoleon Dynamite ... the movie only got big after it was released on DVD, did anyone notice that? Well, anyway. I hear mixed reviews about this ... gem of a movie. Hmm. Well, the producers purposely made it so there was no plot, and although in the scope of things, it was hilariously stupid (or stupidly hilarious), but during the actual watching of the movie, the no-plot deal annoyed me. For some reason, I didn't appreciate the movie until after I saw it. Maybe it was because I escaped from the suffocating stupidity of the movie. But that is what makes the movie so loved, right? Hmm. "GOSH!" and "YESSSS!"

Okay, take care. God bless you.

I'm so tired.

Tired, tired, tired.

I went to a math tournament today. I was placed on Varsity team 2 with... another guy and two freshmen (that's right) - poor kids, they must have been frightened! Anyway, considering how "incompetent" we were... I ended up placing 14th (woot, which is not too bad) and my team ended up 5th overall. (Maybe the other people were just as bad, but I don't know. This is varsity...) So yes, that's how my Saturday went. :) Congrats to Peter, the smart Chinese kid who's a whiz at math... :D

Grrr. I'm so fed up with life.

I have developed (or aggravated) my insanely bad habit of logging on every thirty (or five...) minutes or so and checking out my blog, other people's blogs, my Xanga, and/or other people's Xangas. I NEED TO STOP CHECKING UP ON PEOPLE EVERY 5 MINUTES. Those minutes add up... like, as of right now, I should be studying, but no, that's not happening. Am I developing ADD? It's getting harder and harder for me to sit down for extended periods of time and concentrate. That "inner free spirit" is calling out to me. I've been so restless for the past couple of weeks, and I don't know how to ameliorate it.

I want to see you again.

Exercising really does wonders for the soul, body, and mind. :D I just finished jogging and jumping around for thirty minutes. Although I look awful now, with my sweat-soaked hair, I feel ... great! :D I feel stronger already, and it's a relief that I think I burned off most, if not all, of that apple pie (my latest attachment) ... Mmm ... I want one of those machines (to be invented? If there isn't such thing already) that tell you how many calories you put in your mouth and how many calories you burn via walking/breathing/exercising, whatever. :D I haven't truly exercised in awhile, and my body loves to collect fat (it won't let go!!), so I'm trying my best to curb it. Don't get me wrong; I'm not some skinny girl who complains about how fat she is. I just want to look better, feel better, lose some stubborn fat (thighs, anyone?) and be able to fit into my jeans more. :D I have a naturally curvaceous figure, so uh, there's no way I can be a stick ;)

This week has been really slow. I'm not kidding. Usually, I say to myself, "Wow, it's already Friday?" This week? I thought it was Friday two days ago. Yech.

One month until Valentine's Day... *insert heart here* This year, I actually have something to look forward to, eh? More chocolate, hooray.

I miss hanging out with certain friends, certain people. Sometimes, I/we drift apart, but the friendship never really dies ... I wish I was better at this. Friendship should be a class in itself. Hmmm... Guess how many people would fail it?

I'm going to go shower. Love you all.

Okay, I need to be better about updating.

I tried out for All-State on Saturday. Thought everything was going beautifully... until the actual audition, of course. I don't know, do I sound conceited about this? I mean, ever since 7th grade (that's about 5 years ago...) all I've ever wanted to do was make it at least once before I leave high school. Is that so much to ask? Hmm. People say I set my expectations wayyyyy too high and I need to stop beating myself up. Well, how would you like it if you put in hours and hours of practice into whatever you were doing only to mess up at the last second... when after reflecting and giving it much thought, you realize that the outcome really could have been so much different if you had done X instead of Y ... *sigh* Okay, Dani, it's not the end of the world, I know, I know. It just PAINS me so much to see my efforts go down the drain when I know I could have done a lot better.

In other news...ever have someone you really, truly care about but ... unfortunately, you never see him/her regularly? Ahhhh.

This month has been REALLY slow in passing. I could have sworn I was in school for three weeks already, but nooo... it's only been one. I need to be more patient, but somehow, there's this freedom-craving, feral spirit that has been set loose within myself, and I don't know how to tame it. I'm waiting for something (good!!!!) to happen... but what? Ach, I think I'm just sick of school. The same ol', same ol' gets a little, well, old. Or maybe I'm just a spontaneous person.

Off to do some homework. I need to visit some blogs! ... ^_^

I'm still alive... :) Don't worry.

Happy 2005! I hope everyone had a good Christmas break and a happy New Year. I know I did... :) This has been one of the best, if not the best, holidays breaks I've ever had. I want to thank that one special person who made it so.

Sigh, back to school is never a fun time. I'm so overwhelmed once again. Too many lessons, quizzes, and tests! My eyes are always so bleary in the morning - blah.

Take care :)

It's funny how life can change so much in as little as one year. As I say goodbye to 2004 today, all these memories, good and bad, play like a slideshow in the inner crevices of my mind. I've done and said a lot of stupid things, but there are moments when I have shined... always take the time to reflect what you have done this past year (or day, or week, or even hour), and see if you've learned anything. Like me, I'm sure you have.

Happy 2005.

...I have a secret...I've grown so fond of you....

Hi everyone... :)

Ugh, today I got home, and I was so ravenous! Mmm, ice cream cake is good... so are Honey Nut Cheerios XD Gah, I'm so retarded.

Hi all! I hope everyone had a merry Christmas... and next up: Happy New Year 2005 =)

I spent the past week in Orlando, FL. Tiff (my cool sister) and I rode all these cool roller coasters at Universal... I think I must have screamed enough to last a lifetime (and felt my stomach flip about 10x) ... what an experience! We rode Dueling Dragons, this ride where your feet dangle and you go all over the place, three times... and of course, we braved the Hulk ride. "AHHHHH I'M SCARED." We pigged out on cinnamon churros (yum! but expensive), and we discovered the wonders of the restaurant known as Steak and Shake (yum...I had a huge white chocolate milkshake) ... yes, holidays are the time for good eating :) I hope I didn't gain any weight ._. I don't need it...

I got a red sweater, a red shirt from Tommy Hilfiger, a Disney shirt, and a blue shirt (yes, my yearly purchase of clothing, lol... okay, fine, quarterly) :)

So she said what's the problem baby
What's the problem
I don't know
Well maybe I'm in love
Think about it every timeI think about it
Can't stop thinking 'bout it
How much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love
-Counting Crows "Accidentally in Love"

I went to McDonald's with my friend Zee today. Although we ate, we still had this strange craving for more food... so guess what, we purchased more food! Although if you look at the big picture, I didn't have THAT MUCH, but when I got home, I felt so sick... so I had to take a walk to walk off all that loving McDonald's food. I spent an hour contemplating the mysteries of life while my face became wizened and dry due to the cold. It doesn't feel like Christmas yet!

And I don't feel 17 yet.

(My birthday was Monday.)

Well, I'm trying to convert the pages on my site to PHP (because the popups get a little annoying, I think), so excuse the dust and shambles of my pages. But not like anyone comes here, right? ;D

However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you

-311 "Love Song"

Today, I went to try out for District Band, whoohoo. Unlike the past four years, I went out of the judge room rather confidently. I do believe that out of the last four years, I've stormed out of the room crying and/or complaining about what a horrible flute player I am. The two male judges (that's a first!) were very nice and complimentary of me albeit my cold (achoo!) and my random "blah" notes. Do re mi fa so la si *BLAH* :) I hope I got a decent chair...

We also toured around the Walmart, the place where life centers around in the city I went to audition. That's weird how if a Walmart sits in the middle of nowhere, a town builds around it! A rather scary monopoly... I wonder if Toys R Us and all those retail stores out there will eventually go bankrupt due to Walmart's low prices and its variety of merchandise. Yeesh. I'm not one of those people who can go to Walmart at 3AM for no reason... at least, I don't think. I'm not allowed to be outside of the house past 12AM anyway (city curfew) :)

I worked on Christmas presents and cards. Giving out stuff is so hard, especially with lack of time/money. I took precious time out of studying ... yes, shut up, I do need to study for stuff. I'm really worried about this AP Chem test on Monday because these last couple of days have been rather hazy for me. I've been so sleepy and annoyed with school! Haven't you?

Aww, I'm always missing someone...

Quick entry before I have to depart to the wonderful, exuberant world of studying. I'm a permanent denizen of that world now.

Saturday, I took the SAT - I don't think I did that well, so please don't inquire of my score when the scores come out December 15th... But to go to more happier subjects, I went to Shivani's sweet 16th birthday that evening. She invited the whole brown town (hehe) and of course, us Chinese people (in other words, everyone). Chinatown was reunited :) I miss Melissa so much (our fellow member who turned "traitor" but against her will) ... it was nice hanging out with close friends and getting to know some certain people better. Of course, the alternative to a hot, stuffy house with way too many people is hanging out in the bitter cold!

It's amazing what a dearth of nice, considerate people we have in this world. I recently discovered one of these endangered peoples on Saturday (or merely reinforced my idea of him, anyway). WOW, Dina and I are left impressed by the amazing decency of this one guy. He's the guy that opens doors, that offers his seat when there's nowhere else to sit, that offers the jacket, that follows us in the face of danger, and so on and so forth...not just in one instance, but repeatedly, too! I'm left impressed and with my eyebrow raised in a bemused manner.

I'm trying to read A Beautiful Mind by Sylvia Nasar again. I read it awhile back, but I don't have a great recollection of the book. A mesmerizing movie though. I think I cried when I watched it about 2-3 years ago?

I'm sitting here studying vocabulary now... great, great. Gotta love school. I like how if one goes to school until s/he is about 30 years old (graduate school, etc), that's about 1/3 of their life spent in education. The sacrifices we make to have a good life...I wonder if I can stick with school that long when even now, I'm so sick of it... All right, Danielle, hang in there.

IT'S THE FIRST OF DECEMBER! 12/01/04 and also, my birthday is coming up soon! Can you believe it? This year has gone by rather quickly, but with the exception of last month, I can't really say it was my best year... :( I've had better. What a tumultuous, crazy ride life is. Oh well, like the phrase goes, there's always next year, har har... 2005! I can't wait until 2006.

I love McDonald's yogurt parfaits. :)

And Publix = OVERPRICED >:O I bought three tomatoes for $5.03 today... I was wondering why my overall cost for all of my goods was so expensive. Geez.

I really don't know what to write in here. What I'm feeling right now is rather ineffable - I'm not sure if I'm comfortable writing about it just yet...mere words won't do my feelings justice.

New layout, everyone! Winter 04-05 (yes, the lazy way out of not doing a new layout every month) featuring cute little penguins - I didn't know they were inclined to have couples - and "More Than Words" by Extreme. I love that song, and yes, I am a fan of oldies :)

I went to a birthday/dinner party yesterday. Apparently, everyone loved my complexion because these adults kept on pointing at my face and asking my dad how my face got to be so glowing. I know the reason: my complexion used to be SO bad - oily, zitty, etc. Now that I've gotten the zit problem tamed and am now liberally putting on facial lotion, my complexion is definitely more appealing to the eye... now I don't have to grimace as much when I look in the mirror. :/

I am going to take the SAT I on December 4th (in a week!) and I'm going to do so horribly... I haven't "prepped" for it at all, a.k.a. review some math concepts and maybe go over some vocabulary. Grrr. I don't know what's going on in my life anymore - I need to get myself straightened out ASAP, for December is a busy, busy month.

Lyric O' the Moment: So I'm a little left of center / I'm a little out of tune / Some say I'm paranormal / So I just bend their spoon / Who wants to be ordinary / In a crazy, mixed-up world / I don't care what they're sayin' / As long as I'm your girl -"You Get Me" by Michelle Branch

Hi :) This past weekend was awesome - I love going on debate trips just for the fun of it. I went to judge JV (along with Joy), and it was quite an experience. Since most people who read this probably aren't debaters, I'm not going to delve in the frustration of the rounds because nobody cares... and the people that would have cared, I already blabbed to them about it ^_^' It just sucks when you judge people that you know are better than you - but judges have so much power, it's scary.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I laughed. So. Much. It was utterly ridiculous. The littlest things set me off, and once I start, it's like Pringles: the fun doesn't stop. Thanks to Zach, Nakul, and Brian L. for giving me one heck of a fun time (yes, I equivalate laughing a lot = fun) ... And the thing is, if I tried to tell you what made me laugh so hard, I would be at a loss. Must have been one of those "YOU HAD TO BE THERE!" moments. I tend to get those a lot. It was not necessarily a lot of jokes (good and bad) being spread around although there were some; it was just the humor of people and events, I suppose.

Hmm, well, I guess I never laugh that much at school anymore because of a combination of things:

• the people aren't that funny
• the people don't get me
• I don't get the people
• I'm always tired
• School is a depressing environment.

If you want more details about my trip, I guess you can click to my Xanga, although I do write about friends a lot.

Ooh, I think my dog got bit by a squirrel :( I'm sad, she always looks so down/depressed whenever nobody's tending to her attention needs... everything and everybody needs a little lovin' and carin'.

I put up a new cam picture after like, more than a month. I need to be better about this.

THANKSGIVING BREAK this Wednesday. I'm interested in seeing how my Thanksgiving 04 turns out. =) I need to catch up on many hours of lost sleep, get in touch with some people, shop for Christmas gifts, practice flute for district/all-state, study study study, and do a new layout (winter? who knows) ... this had better be good.

Musical Moment: I am hanging on every word you say / And even if you don't want to speak tonight / That's alright, alright with me / 'Cause I want nothing more than to sit / Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing / Is where I want to be -"Breathing" by Lifehouse

Aww, I've been in a slump lately. It may be associated with a monthly thing, it may not. Regardless, I've been moping and groaning and complaining... I'm sure all of my good friends think I'm annoying now. Please, please forgive me ^_^ ... you people mean the world to me :)

I need to start utilizing my cell phone. I have 2000 rollover minutes left. Plus, I rarely call people. There are certain people that I am just dying to call, but sometimes, it's really hard to get the courage to press. the. stupid. call. button. I'm the most silly person on earth...and IM has lost almost all of its personal value, so on the personal level scale...

Face to face > Phone > Letter > E-mail > IM

Or something like that. Feel free to alter the order.

I hate missing school. I am always swamped with makeup work/tests/whatever. Someone shoot me. No, I'm kidding, I embrace life. But seriously, everyday, I'm not happy. Even if there's not a lot of work to do, I'm still not YAYY HAPPY GO LUCKY WHOO! I need to rant to someone. I need to cry. I need someone to hold me. I need to hold someone. I need to write all of my thoughts down properly instead of things like "Today I went to the grocery store..." or something insignificant like this. I need to stop complaining, actually... ^_^

I have a question for you: So when is it love, really? I've been struggling to answer this daunting question for about three years now. Still haven't found a definite answer. Come Valentine's Day, I hope to have an answer...(just naming a holiday in the distant future).

Okay, enough of this utter nonsense. Off to study!

Hey all. Sorry for the lack of updates... I usually write utter randomness in my Xanga, so if you want to keep up with me, should this blog prove inadequate, you can visit my Xanga here: click me! Generally, I keep well-thought-out entries on this blog here and the randomness on the Xanga... you know, the "I'm bored/hungry/tired" type entries. :)

So today was awfully cold... right now, I'm standing with my tshirt, pajama pants, AND my really super long (and obese) scarf from Forever 21. It is quiet warm, except I am in need of gloves. My hands are so dry and chapped from the coldness... -_- More lotion-slathering time, eh? I hate putting on lotion... it gets everywhere, it takes awhile to soak in the skin, and I always forget to put on lotion.

Tonight was the annual Veteran's Day concert... a salute to all of our veterans. Mr. Barney spoke, yay, that was nice... I'm so used to hearing him speak in class, but in an environment like at the church with all these veterans, it felt different... anyway, he's a really nice guy. I played the Stars and Stripe piccolo part with Janki and Christina... that went pretty well, considering I haven't practiced this but four times since last year... I still remember how to play all of that piece!!! And most of the other pieces by memory since we played them so many times last year. You know, if I don't start using earplugs soon, I'm going to be deaf by 25... those piccolos are shrill!

Anyway, off to conquer so more unfinished homework. For those that I usually visit: sorry my visits have been so sporadic/few =( I hate my life right now, well, the workload, anyway... or maybe I just work too hard.

Just finished: The Sterkarm Handshake by Susan Price (nice!)
Currently reading: Henry and Clara by Thomas Mallon.

I'm so sleepy...

Earlier, I was doing homework on my bed (yes, I know, not a smart move) ... and I decided to lay my head down for just a little bit when... I woke up 5 hours later.

... Ok, not really, but it's happened before. Thank goodness it wasn't today :) I have a Trig test tomorrow.

94 ON INCLASS ESSAY! THANK GOODNESS...after the last one, I could have sworn I got another mid-B. It has gotten to the point where I take any A, no matter how high or low, in AP Lit... see, I used to hate grades like 91, but now, I treat it like it's a 99 or something... whoohoo. School is kicking my butt (physically - my health is so bad right now... I've gotten two-three illnesses or so this past month). Plus, more "bad" grades are filtering in this year... for example, I've gotten more Cs than I have ever gotten in my schooling career up to this point. Minor grades, but still... when a big red 70 is smack dab in the middle of your paper, it hurts.

So Bush won four more years... I have mixed feelings about this, and I'm sure the rest of America does, too. I hope that during the next four years, he takes steps to bring the country together because looking at the election, we're so deeply split. Kerry's right - we need unity. Hello, the United States of America... I have a lot of friends that are leaning more Democratic, and all this "Bush sucks" talk makes me wonder. Whether you hate him or not, we're stuck with him for another four years. Something interesting I learned in U.S. History - Look at Abraham Lincoln. whom we consider a great president today... he was not popular with the people--he didn't even have friends in the White House-- for the most part, until the turning points of the Civil War. That's weird - not knowing the politics of the Civil War, I always thought that everyone loved Lincoln, but no, that wasn't true. Yet look how he is portrayed now. o_O I wonder how Bush will go down in history. How will I explain him to my kids? Hopefully not using all the derogatory statements that my friends used. He has his good points and his bad points, just like you and me.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" This question, not a common question to begin with, was asked to me not once, but twice yesterday, by two different people. No, they weren't guys who were looking for a girl, and no, the females who asked me weren't lesbian/bi (cough, Ellen Y)... one of my good friends and one of my teachers I had last year were the ones who asked me. I just found that so weird that such a question of great personal weight would be brought up twice in one single day. My personal life is pretty...interesting. Well. I have some reasons why I don't have a boyfriend right now, but sometimes, that inner girl breaks loose from its cage and takes over my emotions and thoughts. I just wish I won't do or say something stupid like I did last time and regret it for years to come. Hey, but you know what they say: you learn by doing ... (like, committing mistakes?) -_-

Dust to Dust ... what the?

Today, I took a day off from school to see Dr. Lin... I've been having problems with my lower back (my parents suspected kidney problems :/), and the last trip to the doctor didn't cure it all the way, so this morning, I went yet again... Dr. Lin is a really nice man :) After doing the usual diagnosis, I even got some acupuncture in ^_^ This was my first time ever, and I always imagined tons of scary pins and needles... but in reality, it wasn't that bad. Just some points of pressure and some pricklyness. I believe getting shots are worse :P I don't know if the acupuncture helped, though... I don't know the science behind it, but hey, if it's been used for thousands of years...

I just read Danielle Steel's book The Promise because Betsy lent it to me... :) I wrote a review on it in Amazon, if you care to read... not one of my better reviews because I'm kind of sick and tired, but it will do, hopefully. One thing, though... I really hope all of her books aren't like that... somewhat bland, flat, predictable... hopefully not to the predicability of Nicholas Sparks =\ Now wouldn't that be a shame...

Well, this week has been HOMECOMING WEEK, and of course, all the days have something funky to it... Tuesday, I dressed up as twins with Ning-Fei and Dina (JAPANESE SCHOOL GIRL OUTFITS + HAIR ...), Thursday, I dressed like a tomboy with my dad's shirt and my cap... whoohoo, "sexy!" I got lots of compliments, which was nice... EDIT: HERE ARE SOME PICTURES... Click on them to view the full size...





Twin Day. I dressed up like Ning-Fei and Dina. We looked like Japanese school girls...

Katherine and me as guys... :D

Why do I have such a bad phobia of phones? Whenever I am seized by the urge to call ________, I shrink away from fear and I never end up dialing _________, letting what could possibly be a golden opportunity of friendship to pass yet again. Even with girl friends, I can't bring myself to call... what's wrong with me? Am I just not concise with speaking or communicating my thoughts? Perhaps it's because I'm too afraid something will slip out that shouldn't... Oftentimes, I ramble, and sometimes, those thoughts aren't what I want people to hear, no matter how close I am with them.

Sorry so short, this entry is mainly just to let you faithful know that I'm still alive. :)

guess what... my wireless keyboard has died... i'm assuming it's the batteries, so i'm using my regular keyboard on the laptop... and it sucks. i don't have the shift key, enter, or backspace to use... so if i mess up, please forgive me. i have to manually right click and do delete or make it a space... so it's really annoying and aggravating. i'll have to fix my keyboard later... oh wait, since i don't have the enter key, i can't make paragraphs nor use html... oops... well, anyway, i'm just letting you know about my predicament. i'll blog a proper entry later. insert smiley face here...

I woke up at 2p.m. today. Yeah, I'm not sleeping at 2am anymore just for the heck of it :) I was engaged in interesting IM conversations last night, and unfortunately, that preceded sleep (right Kevin? Ahaha) ... I suppose it was one of those once-every-now-and-then moments.

Anyway, this past week, I've been spending my days in Atlanta (whooohooo) ... all we did was shop, haha. We whizzed through three malls (THREE!), and that was probably equivalent to 10+ miles of walking, hahaha... I bought some gifts, pants from Gap ($10), and a shirt from Aero ($6) ... yeah, I'm cheap. I usually don't buy clothing over $10 ... I can show you how to get a wardrobe for less than $50, I'm sure ;)

As I toured though all the stores (there's many to choose from in Atlanta), a lot of the stores had their Christmas display already up. Geez, October isn't even over yet... and did we forget about Thanksgiving? I guess on the whole, Christmas outweighs a lot of holidays... well, I like Christmas, but what a way to inundate (hey I like that word) the shelves with red, green, and white... :) They're just after our pocketbooks, that's all. But I still can't wait for Christmas because then this emotionally aggravating ride of a first semester junior year will be OVER, and we'll have time to warm up by the fire, spending quality time with friends and family. :)

I was talking with my good friend Mike last night, and of course, we were reflecting over the past (I seem to do that a lot with him) ... I cannot believe how much stuff happens in one year because I didn't realize that until I was talking with him. My freshman prom? That was a little over a year ago. Merely a year...(May 2003) I feel like freshman year was aeons and aeons ago :\ but it wasn't. Also in May 2003, the current sophomores in college graduated from high school...what, I feel like they've been gone for years as well, not merely a little over a year. =\ I was flipping through my photo albums and the differences between this time last year and now are... great... Time plays a very cruel joke on us.

Fake 9/11 Silver Coins ...

This past week has been rather interesting... A brief outline of what has happened in Dani's life, for those of you that care (then again, if you didn't care, you wouldn't be here, right? :D)

Saturday - Dina and her family came over, and we hung out at my house--bonding time!--, and around 4pm or so Howard came down from Duke University to visit our wonderful city of ________ (cough cough) ... :D x 1000 I was pretty elated because I haven't seen him in over a year. After more hanging out at my house, Howard, Tiffany (my sister), and I crashed at Brian's house (who was home for the weekend as well). The boys and I watched part of the UGA vs. Tennesee game (UGA lost...).

For dinner, we ate out at Ruby Tuesday ... first time I've been to the Ruby Tuesday (and I've lived here for how long?), and of course I ate chicken >=) while Howard and I discussed about the wonderful thing known as our lives. What a roller coaster. After dinner, at the earnest pleading from my sister, we headed over to Wal-Mart :) Why, I'm not really sure. Howard and I ended up buying a 750 jigsaw puzzle, and its pieces still lay scattered on my bedroom floor. It is a really pretty puzzle called "Seaside Leap" with dolphins, a magnificent horizon, and of course, the wonderful creatures of the deep. I have about 30% completion, and at this rate, hopefully I'll finish this by Christmas... gracias, Howard.

Sunday - Chinese school... started a three day spree of eating pizza (darn you, Papa John's) ... tried to study like crazy but whatever. Ended up talking on the phone most of the time...

Monday - This is sad, I'm failing to remember what happened to me two days ago... I was a little peevish on Monday, don't know why "grrrr" -_- When I'm in a bad mood (which is often), it's not a pretty sight :D flute lessons... I have decided that I NEED TO PRACTICE... more than just 1 day a week -_- Howard came over and visited me while I was feverishly studying for tests... yay... :)

Tuesday - ... seriously, what happened yesterday? My memory is that bad.... I do remember doing yoga though...oh yes, and report cards :)

Wednesday - TODAY! ... Mrs. H basically told me, in a somewhat subtle way, that I had failed an AP practice... My God, I stink at AP Practices... also, I took the PSAT, and I think I missed some really silly questions... probably I rushed through them. Sigh. School sucks.

Okay, yeah, I'm not doing this again because this proves that my short-term memory is not so hot :) I barely remember what happened this morning. Isn't that sad? Well, just wanted to let you know that I'm still alive... and I will write a better entry later. :)

I'm currently reading Mine Eyes Have Seen by Ann Rinaldi (a really good historical fiction writer) ... and when I brought it to class the other day, my friend Jane said, "Oooh, new book, let me see..." and she and Ann Marie took a glance at the cover and simultaneously bursted out into the Battle Hymn of the Republic song... "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord..." while of course everyone stared at them. IT WAS SO CUTE "like a musical!" hahaha... gosh, I love my friends.

Hmm, what else happened this week (it is, after all, Wednesday)... I got a 100 on an AP Chem test (yes!), the very one that I was on the verge of tears because I didn't understand how to do a lot of the problems the night before the test... got an 87 on a really easy Spanish test (what the heck... I bet that just killed my average), and totally failed an in-class essay today about the oh-so-wonderful, extraordinary, amazing Billy Budd ... no seriously, there is absolutely no sarcasm here, none at all.... -_-

For those that I usually visit (you know who you are), I will pay you a visit very soon, I'm so sorry for not givin' some loving to you wonderful people :( ... hopefully when this crazy week is over, I'll stop by your wonderful blogs.

I can't believe I've been through 9 weeks of hell (sorry, no other word to describe) already... only three more of these 9-weeks periods left... guess who's ready for Christmas, actually? ^.~ Fall's pretty, and there are some good perks about it (really nice weather, etc.) but it's also hard/long/boring schoolwise. Seeing some Christmas merchandise already on sale (!!!!!!!!! Halloween hasn't even passed yet), I'm already in the mood for some fireside warming, some lovin' (hahaha yeah right, not moi!), exchanging warm-hearted gifts, hitting the mountains (or if you're like my family, the beach in the winter XD...), and consuming unhealthy amounts of sugar-enhanced milk chocolate. Sigh... how blissful.

It's late...

I should be in bed...

The one day when I had little to no homework, I still stay up around 11pm.... ^_^ I think I've gotten so accustomed to sleeping at this (unhealthy) time that any other time would throw off my sleep schedule. Not good! No wonder I sleep until 1pm on weekends... :)

Quick post, sorry. Off to bed.

I spend my evenings studying, studying, and studying, and of course, last night I found myself sleeping at 12:30a.m.... cramming for an AP Chem. test. Of course, my fellow friends were online as well (why do people stay online so late? sigh... we all need like, 8 hours of sleep) See, if I didn't do all those practice problems this past weekend, I would have failed the test today like none other... this goes to show that Practice makes perfect.......but I wish I had more time to, say, practice my flute ^_^ At this rate, I'm never going to make All-State Band...

Well, off to do debate work. How exciting! See, our pitiful class is directly after one of the best classes to breeze through LHS... we pale in comparison to the brilliant people of the class of 2005 :P so there's some pressure on us (06!) to do just as well... but I'm not super geniuses like they are. :)

Gosh, my emotional roller coaster ride (har! trig project...) has been hitting some bumps and some really steep hills... -_- Sigh, I think my hormonal levels must be imbalanced and I need some medication. Either that, or my emotions are trying to tell me that something's up. See, on my trig project, I was going to name my roller coaster ride "Only to Fall Again," but I changed it...

This morning, I woke up scared for my life...I woke up breathing heavily and gladly taking my surroundings in--yes, I'm still alive, and yes, I'm still in the comforts of my own room. I dreamt about my friend and me, and she and I, for some reason, devised a plot... and I remember seeing her with a revolver/gun and shooting and killing these people, people that were our friends (in band?), one by one, until she suddenly stopped at this one person, and she fled. I remember seeing the bodies crumple... I had a revolver too, so I think I dropped it and ran... where I ran and hid, I don't remember. I just remember feeling really scared for my life, and how eventually people would know it was my friend (let's call her Katie) who commited those heinous acts, and I was somehow tied in with her... I think I was trying to hide the evidence (the gun) and also praying that nobody would know that I knew about the plot, and that I actually had a gun in my possession... I was debating on whether I should tell someone of higher authority (teacher?) that I knew it was her and I was involved, too, although I didn't technically do anything...it was terrifying being in that position, and sadly, I have felt this way before. I'm sure everyone's been in that position, although perhaps not as drastic...

I went shopping this weekend. Dillard's was cleaning out its summer stuff... see, the best time to shop is when it's the transition of seasons because stores throw out their stuff at cheap prices... good for you, the shopper. :) I bought this really pretty pink, flowery dress for only $4 (regular price must have been $30 or so)... and some other articles of clothing for cheap prices. I'm content, I guess. Well, I'm not the type of person to be thrilled or ecstatic about buying clothes, unlike some people.

Yeah, to try to boost my mood, I exercised today for about 30 minutes... my mood was temporarily boosted, but now, I'm all depressed/tired/lazy/mmmmphhh again. :( How does one cheer oneself up? I don't think I'll be truly happy until Christmas (well, December)... in two months. I don't even really know why I'm so depressed/down all the time because there's really no good reason. This is weird because last year, fall 2003, my journal entries tell me that I was a happy-go-lucky sophomore... just having the time of my life despite my ups and downs. This year, I feel like I've been sapped of all emotion/energy... and all I am left to deal with is apathy and the ocassional bitter cynicism.

Highlights of my week:

http://autonet.ca/Francais/SalonAuto/storyimages/story10685-picture12572-L.jpg

-I got a new 2005 berry red Corolla... :D

-I think I've gained weight =\ ... well, maybe YOU can't tell, but I can.

-I got an 88 on a Hamilton Lit essay... still not entirely happy about it even though I have a 92 with AP Curve because it doesn't help my grade... I was hoping for a little higher but oh well -_- Gotta take what you get.

-I ate TONS of peanut butter this week... more than I have ever eaten in my entire life...dude, that stuff is good!

I will write more in depth later, ie: more elaboration, but it's Friday afternoon, and I'm tired of staring 24/7 at the computer because of studying or procrastination, or a little of both. Time to get some physical exercise and enjoy the beauty of nature (or the depths of my kitchen, if you're like me who works out in the kitchen) :)

Time is elusive. I can never seem to find enough of it to last me a whole day. Which is ironic because a day does constitute of time.

I get home around 3:30pm everyday from school, put my stuff down, and get on the computer to check email, check who is online, check my website (what you're currently visiting :p), and so on and so forth. Frequently, I do my homework while sitting at the computer, but I find that a distraction at times, especially with all the tools accessible with the click of a mouse--IM, e-mail, music, to name a few. Then as the hours roll by and evening comes, I then take the time to study for quizzes/tests for the following day. Of course, 50% of the time you catch me, I would probably be on IM. I still manage to do both (study/do homework), but the evening still wears away, and the days that I am sitting at the computer, I look at my erroneous desktop clock.

8:34 p.m.

Actually, please note that I said "erroneous," meaning that... it's wrong. It's not really 8:34 - in fact, it's close to 11:45 p.m., to say the least. Nearing midnight. Great. This isn't a once or twice occurence... in fact, recently, it has been nearing every night. Well, you might say, 12am, that's not too bad. Well, consider that because I am bound to the chains of high school until I leave the school in May 2006, I have to wake up every morning around 6:30a.m. (and FYI, recently it has been 6:05 a.m. because my poor car broke down, and I am car-less), get to school, and start class at 7:50a.m. Dangit, you know all those studies about how people really need 8-9 hours of sleep every night? I will tell you right now: THEY'RE RIGHT. 6 hours of sleep is not enough, even though it's a mere difference of two hours... I'm always having HUGE headaches in the morning, heavy eyes, and a gaping expression on my face ("What?") because of those precious two hours of sleep lost. By 5th period, I'm almost out cold....

I know I rambled for what seemed to be hours up there about seemingly nothing important, but please, unless you really have a lot of stuff to do, get your 8 hours of sleep. Your body will thank you later.

Anyway, onto some other blog-worthy events...

I went to collegeboard.org today, and I happened to surf around some colleges and universities because in a year, I will be the one that's applying to colleges. Under the admissions tab, there are things that the school heavily bases their admissions on, things that they strongly consider, and things they consider (you'll see if you visit the site, for those who care) ... For example, in one school, class rank is very important, while in another school, they only just glance at it. I am really worried that when the time comes for me to start filling out those apps, that I won't get into the colleges of my choice (currently hazy at the moment) because I didn't have enough accomplishments/good things to say about me/etc. etc.... okay, fine, I have the grades, and I'm sure I could improve my SAT scores (...hehe) and whatnot, but what else do they want of me? How do I make myself stand out to, say, Ivy League schools, with my glowing application being the one that screams to the admissions officers, "Pick me! Pick me!" ? I know some of my friends have blogged about this before... see, where I live, a lot of people end up going to a big state university. It's a very good college with a very good honors program, band, and football team (take a guess)? :P but there's this (prideful?) feeling deep down that I am capable of getting into places that are more "prestigious" than that. But it's only a feeling--am I really that capable? Or is it just my vanity speaking? I guess we shall see when in a year, the rejection letters will pile up on my table...

Okay, I need to do some homework. Being a junior in high school is no walk in the park. But I'm sure you knew that already, didn't you?

Yo necesito...

-Un grupo de amigos! Well, I have friends, but I don't know... I guess I'm a social butterfly (and yes, Raie, I do bold a lot to emphasize certain things) because I tend to "flit" from group to group. I don't really have one I can call my own, or a group of "best friends." Like right now, I have in mind a group of girls that are pretty close-knit--I'm friends with all of them, even good friends with one of them, but I'm not in their "group." Maybe I don't need a group of friends, and I can just be good friends with everyone so I can get the best of every world. ;D Also, I sort of stopped doing this "best friend(s)" business awhile ago... I don't know, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by this "best" ordeal... being attached ALL THE TIME kind of annoys me, for some reason, like when you only hang out with that one person. I don't know, maybe I'm not making much sense right now because I'm pretty tired. LOL OMG BFF!!!!!!!!!! FRIENDS FOREVER I LOVE YOU XOXOXOXOXOXO that's not really me, I'm not sure if that was ever me... I'm really a reserved person, to tell you the truth. Even with my few really good friends, I don't ever tell them a lot of things about me, like for example, who my mind currently dwells on, my concerns about life, etc. etc. But enough...

-Un vida! I need a life. I don't have one. Saturday night, I'm home... I was studying and I am now blogging. Earlier in the evening, I was sleeping.

-Aprender chino... My Mandarin Chinese is rather stagnant right now, and I really want to be fluent in Mandarin so I could possibly survive on my own (sort of) in places like Taiwan. I look at talk shows on Chinese TV, and when I see Russian people speaking Chinese, despite the fact it's not all the way smooth, it bothers me that if I landed on a talk show like that, I probably wouldn't be able to say what I wanted to say very well, and I am Chinese. I've studied the language since I was 5, but it's a once-a-week thing, and I don't write much at all. When I speak with Chinese "ai-yis" and "su sus," yeah, I speak Chinese, but I can't hold, like, philosphical talks or anything... my vocab's not that expansive. Also, everytime I go overseas, I often don't know how to say certain phrases, so here I am, the American-Born-Chinese girl walking around like "?" :D I bet my extended family thinks it's disgraceful because I can only hold simple conversations in Chinese, like Hi how are you, I'm in 11th grade now, I like to _____, No, I'm not dating anyone, I don't know where I want to go to college. Maybe I should just take this class in college, although most classes offer simplified Chinese if I'm not mistaken (well, at Tech, they do)... a step backwards for me >_<

Okay, I'll stop with the "I need" and my horrible Spanish...

I still need to make my layout. Great. I've become a big-time procrastinator now. AP studying? I'll do that tomorrow.

Today was very invigorating or exhausting, however you want to put it. I volunteered at this elementary school carnival with my friend, and we were kept on our toes at all times. We manned the "BAG DECORATING" booth, and kids just put glue (drew stuff) on paper bags, dumped glitter on it, and put stickers... we ran around showing people what to do and punching holes for the handles. Gah! It took awhile to get everything to calm down... I will not go into the giftbag industry (tied too many handles to care for) and perhaps not work as an elementary school teacher... teachers don't get paid enough for all the work they have to do. By the time I left, I had stickers, glue, and glitter all over me. I never want to see microscopic itty bitty pieces of colorful metallic plastic again.

Afterwards, I went to the lake for a Chinese picnic... excellent weather, though a little windy (another hurricane?) - I ran around in the water with Jennifer, getting my pants wet in the process, great... "played" volleyball, walked around in the sand, hula-hooping. It was a nice getaway from reality, I'll tell you that.

Sometimes, I wish I had some haven I could retreat to whenever I'm not loving life.

...I need to update.

I seem to be lacking in my time-management skills. I need to stop sleeping at 12AM everyday.

A look on what's coming up in my life (not that you care, right? :D)

September 23rd - Beta Club induction, whoohoo... I'll play a simple piece on flute :D I hope it turns out decent because I really need to quell my paranoia of playing in front of people. I manage to lose my composure at times... then again, who doesn't?

September 24th - LHS VS GHS GAME!!!!!!! Our school is really big on football, even though our team wasn't so hot in the past couple of years :c) but they have improved, and we've won games now, yay... It'll be fun, seeing all of my friends again ... I hate separation (a lot of my friends went to GHS after middle school, and guess who was the loser that went to the other school...)

October 13th - PSAT/NMQST (whatever the acronymn is) is coming up soon, and although I think I'll do fine on the Verbal section, I know I'm going to do not so hot on Math and Writing... For some reason, I cannot do math very well (in the class, sure, but outside/real life application, etc...) -_-

Also, hmm... I debated once so far, and I've already missed a debate tournament last week due to our Red Cross retreat... this weekend, I can't go to yet another fun, awesome debate tournament, so I'm a little disappointed about that. Last year, I didn't debate as much as I would like to because of marching band, but now that I'm no longer enslaved by the obligations of marching band, I have most of my Fridays off, but look who's not debating much....? -_- The irony! I think my debate career, if it ever started, died...

This past weekend, I went on a Red Cross camping retreat along with Shivani, Joy, Sheel, and Vic... since I've never camped before, I envisioned a nice room (semi-nice) with at least a bathroom and lights in it. Ahh, we Americans, we're too spoiled... what a wake up call w hen we got to the campsite! To borrow someone's words, the whole area was quite... "primitive." I see why we called it a retreat: a retreat from society ^_^ but it was nice to notice how spoiled we were when we complained about the lack of lights and good beds... haha. We did some group presentations and spent most of the time enjoying the good weather outside with the blanket of beautiful stars above us when nightfall came... it was really pretty, minus the heavy smoke from the giant bonfire for the s'mores. :D And of course, Joy, Shivani, and I got the scare of our lives when this idiot guy started scratching on the cabin walls... it sounded like a bear, okay and when one is out with nature, there is no telling what she sends his/her way... -_- The three of us ran out SHRIEKING ... three girls running out of this haunted cabin shrieking for their mommies (cough, no names...) :D Quite a sight.

And of course, you can't forget ropes course....running around in the woods and whatnot, using our brains to solve puzzles. We did Tarzan and swung from a branch... and balanced a gigantic seesaw... and so on and so forth. How invigorating =D Some highlights of the trip: chocolate dessert, speed limit 12 1/2, Vic and the guitar, claaara, claaara, me choking because I'm a CPR victim, the LHS table... ^_^

It's sad how on "girly" magazines like CosmoGIRL! and Seventeen, I turn straight to the health/workouts section... ~_~ Don't bother with the makeup, fashion... etc. I did this really nice workout from the August 2004 issue of CG! yesterday, and talk about cardio and weight training... when a workout can combine the two effectively, you've got yourself a deal. :)

Anyway, I've had a crazy weekend... maybe I'll blog about it later, not in the mood right now. Why? My brain is quite fried from this APLIT essay I've been doing these past two days. I = perfectionist, but I know Mrs. H will shoot down my dreams... and like, stomp on them. Hello F's??? :) I've been working about 10 hours (rivaling Joy, uh oh) on this stupid essay, and it better be worth all my efforts, too. Due Wednesday.

Hey, I've got a new layout image, but I need to learn how to code well (see prev. entry? Or so) ... and do something snazzy with it. I don't know. All this stuff takes time... gargh! I just need to dedicate a "HTML/PHOTOSHOP" month for me...

Okay. Take time to stop and appreciate your friends and who they are. You may think you don't have people who care about you ... but oooh, there are plenty that love you for who you are and are concerned about. I think I've finally learned how to appreciate that fact lately... love to all of my friends. I'll probably write another long entry that nobody reads about this topic later... but not now. My back hurts...

Hello.

These past couple of days, it has been pouring like there's no tomorrow. Where I live, Hurricane Frances was not in its direct path, but it still dumped lots of rain here. I guess my dry grass is happy now =) It's scary just to imagine winds at 90mph... over here, all the swaying trees and debris at 20mph is bad enough! I hope the people in Florida are recuperating...

My U.S. History teacher is so Republican... either that, or very patriotic, although everyone says, "Yeah, he's Republican. If nothing else." It must be something about serving in marine corps... he has great pride for this country. I told my friend, "Hey, if Bush wins in November, he [my teacher] should hold a party..." She was all aghast and replied, "...I don't want Bush to win!"

Haha, I'm reading Newsweek now. There's an article that states that there's a lot of women that are "skinny and tall" (I guess past 6 feet) so they could never find clothes that fit right. That's funny, a "tall market is heating up" with stores such as Jungle Babies, Chicks with Attitudes... Sad (?) to say that I did not get the Amazonian genes from my family, nope. But it's ironic how the tallest guy (or if I'm wrong, one of the tallest guys) in basketball is... Chinese! I'm only 5'3.5", 5'4"...

Blah, at this rate I won't finish the new layout until late September. That's usually how it is... ^_^' I need like, an insta-layout designer program... :D

[pasted from my Xanga]
On MTV's True Life: I am in an interracial relationship... there are three couples featured: a Caucasian guy and an African-American girl, a Caucasian guy and African-American guy, and a Hispanic guy and a Caucasian girl. Out of all them, I think the happiest is the first one... their families are both accepting of the other and they're both really cute :D ... The guy just asked the girl to marry her, aww! I wonder how I would fare if I were faced with a decision like that--well, interracial relationships. My parents are more for Asian (definitely Chinese...) guys, and I think I would be, too (especially in, say, marriage), but when you're in "love," does it really matter?

I know, I know, I think way ahead of my time :P when I should be focusing right here, right now... but in the event that I do find someone that's not Chinese/Asian... I wonder how that would fare? I've talked about this with someone, how it would be "weird" for the children - I used to think it was hard being Chinese yet not so Chinese in America, but I can only imagine having both sides in my blood. Also, there's just some feeling to keep your family blood consistent/pure, like most Chinese/Asian people like for it to be. Family pride? Not sure. Well, I'll just let my life run its course and see where it takes me in ten years.

I'm making a new layout... I promise. It's taking me awhile because I always put it on the bottom of my priorities. :( I also need to learn how to code more effectively XD ... I suck. I need to take HTML/XHTML/CSS/PHP classes or whatever... Care to help? :p hehe.

Anyway, I came back from NF's party... was really cute and fun. I gorged on Chinese food (not really) and I finally discovered the magic of cream puffs. Mmm... we girls watched The Prince and Me starring Julia Stiles. Blah, the movie was EXTREMELY predictable... I think there are SO MANY movies out there that go like this: some prince doesn't want to be a prince anymore, goes over to America, falls in love, the girl finds out he's a prince, she gets mad, but eventually things work out okay. A "cute" chick flick movie--but I could so tell when they were going to makeout or almost "do-it" everytime in the movie, so yes, once again, predictable. I'm not sure if the critics liked it... probably not. Too cliched? The guy wasn't half bad though, although I've seen better. I proclaimed I wanted to marry a Danish guy when I grew up, but I think I was kidding...

I actually bought clothes this weekend. Lots of sales going on because of Labor Day which by the way, I should wish you all a good one. :) Goody's, there's RACKS full of "Buy 1 Get 1" which is really rare, although I still think $30 for two items of clothing is expensive :P ... I bought a pink/white somewhat long skirt and an American flag shirt @ Stein Mart... earlier, I bought a blue polo (looks like a tennis top) at Rich's, so yeaaa... that's more clothes that I buy in a year lol :)

Jogging = great. I've been making use of my treadmill lately, hehehe... jogging for even 10 minutes is very tolling though, especially when you don't do it often. I need to build my endurance XD ...

Why do I have Mandy Moore's song "Crush" in my head?!?!?! >:O "I got a crush on yoooou..." I hate it when songs are stuck on repeat in my head, especially songs like that. Is it trying to tell me something?

Wow, as of today, I'm ranked 140907 at amazon reviews :D After some really bad reviews where I did not do much but whine about how long the book was (...it was!), I started writing more constructive reviews on books that I have read. I guess my change of heart is working because for most of my reviews (I have 28 so far), at least one person had said it was helpful. Hopefully, I'll make it to the top ____ sometime. Wouldn't that be grand?

I have a vocabulary test tomorrow. Just looking at these soporific word lists make me tired already! Well, at least I am being a sedulous student studying all night for this, plus looking over some debate evidence and writing a book review on The Last of the Mohicans on amazon. *insert big grin* I have a propensity to multitask, although sometimes it proves to be counterproductive... hopefully today is not the case. Gah. Sometimes, I feel like school is my fetter - it chains me to it 24/7, never ceasing to let me go. How am I supposed to get through my last years in high school, four more years in college, and graduate school (possibly? definitely?) Why do we spend 1/2 or 1/3 of our lives in school? Blah... -_- How bizarre.

In case you didn't catch on, I got so bored I started incorporating my list of vocab in that passage above. I guess it's a good way to remember words if you know what you're doing...

Oh, yes, does anyone have any King Arthur books they would like to recommend? I am reading I am Morgan Le Fay by Nancy Springer now because Jane T. said it was good (thanks Jane, although you won't read this...) hehe. I'm such a bibliophile...

Okay, off to try to understand what the heck is the situation going on in Afghanistan (no, not really, but I mean... debate files) ... ^_^ TOURNAMENT SEPTEMBER 11TH AND I'M (Joy?) SO NOT PREPARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Currently listening to: Standing Still by Jewel